Are you similar to your parents? Are you scared to become like your parents? Would you be a good parent?

[OhWellDerp321]

I mean. It matters if YOU want kids. Not if your partner wants it or not.

If you already know you don't want kids, then don't let others talk you into it.

Its obvious that it would be difficult to become a good parent yourself if you were raised by bad parents. You may think "I will never become like my parents" because they were horrible to me. But guess what? Your parents probably were raised by terrible parents also. And they probably said the EXACT same thing.

Not saying that you cannot be a good parents if you had bad parents. It is possible. But in order to do that, you really have to be completely honest with yourself. Do you want kids?
If the answer is yes without a doubt. Then you have more of a chance of becoming a good parent.
If you have doubts, its a good sign that you don't want kids.
Because raising kids comes with responsibility. It's not just taking the good and dreaming about all the happy adventures. It's about when life gets tough or when the kids misbehave. That's what parenting is about.
That's why bad parents are bad parents. Because they go in thinking having kids for all the happiness that it can bring. But they were never ready to deal with the bad side and take responsibility when things aren't happy.

Just remember this. You cannot undo it if you realize you didn't want a kid later.

 

[GlassMoon]

I'm very much unlike my parents - at least when I'm feeling well, I'm much more extrovert.

I do have doubts about how good a parent I am. I try to foster a feeling of unconditional love, but I'm not sure I'm getting that conveyed often enough. And I won't push my children to pursue certain goals which are secretly mine.

 

[deadbidaylight]

I have traits of both my parents and now that I have a child myself, I see more of both of them coming out in me. I'm the odd one out here when I say I had really great parents and I think I had a good childhood. My father is the best man ever and to this day he is still my best friend and confident. He's the one that has helped me through a few of my suicidal ideations. He has been suicidal in the past, and is also medicated like I am so I feel like he's one of the only people who understands. If I could be half the parent my dad was for me, I'd die a happy woman. I strive to be more like my father every day.

My mom is also a great mom, but has her vices. Her and I have butted heads for years and it was always to do with her severe alcoholism. Last year it got to the point where I cut off myself and daughter from her because I just couldn't take it anymore. She reevaluated her choices and decided to stop drinking. After 36 years I never thought I'd see the day. My mom has not been drunk since July 2024 and I am proud to say this today.

Having said this, I do not drink. Ever. I have an aversion to it from growing up watching my mom have to be carried to bed nightly by my dad. And us having to pick her up off the floor when she fell. I will never drink. I don't want to become my mom in that sense. I have an addictive personality so I can easily see myself becoming her if I let myself drink.

I have traits of both my parents and now that I have a child myself, I see more of both of them coming out in me. I'm the odd one out here when I say I had really great parents and I think I had a good childhood. My father is the best man ever and to this day he is still my best friend and confident. He's the one that has helped me through a few of my suicidal ideations. He has been suicidal in the past, and is also medicated like I am so I feel like he's one of the only people who understands. If I could be half the parent my dad was for me, I'd die a happy woman. I strive to be more like my father every day.

My mom is also a great mom, but has her vices. Her and I have butted heads for years and it was always to do with her severe alcoholism. Last year it got to the point where I cut off myself and daughter from her because I just couldn't take it anymore. She reevaluated her choices and decided to stop drinking. After 36 years I never thought I'd see the day. My mom has not been drunk since July 2024 and I am proud to say this today.

Having said this, I do not drink. Ever. I have an aversion to it from growing up watching my mom have to be carried to bed nightly by my dad. And us having to pick her up off the floor when she fell. I will never drink. I don't want to become my mom in that sense. I have an addictive personality so I can easily see myself becoming her if I let myself drink.

I like to think I'm a good parent. I am no where near perfect, and I have my moments. But I live for my daughter and she's my main reason why I'm still here. I wouldn't trade her for the world. She will never have to question my unconditional love for her.