Discussion Are you ready to die?

[AshyGames97]

Try finding somewhere secluded, tell people you'll be going to so-and-so, somewhere away from where you want to go, and proceed to do so. Just a suggestion. Hope it helps you.
Farewell, Ashy. Let's hope you find something good on the other side.

I'm hoping to CTB at home, I just need a couple hours on my own. I'm sure I'll be able to find them.

 

[Inferdan]

I'm hoping to CTB at home, I just need a couple hours on my own. I'm sure I'll be able to find them.

Sounds good. See ya, bro. Hope everything goes as planned.

 

[LastWhisper]

Always ready

 

[AcidicTearsOfDeath]

To be honest I am, I have everything ready been delaying for about a week now. I just can't bring myself to just do it and I know I'm wasting time. I have no idea if it's hope that's stopping me or something I'm just not aware of.
I know I'm tired, I know I'm ready, I'm also sure that if I do linger around waiting ("afterlife" which I have come across in videos) it might be days before someone finds me.
At this point I have no reason to be around, I feel like I shouldn't exist. Everyone has been doing just fine without me (presence makes no difference). The one person I loved the most just seems like he to is better off without me, just feel like I'm a problem to him. I really don't understand what's stopping me. I've lost all purpose or sense of reason yet I can't explain it. Perhaps I should just do it and get it over and done with.

 

[Inferdan]

To be honest I am, I have everything ready been delaying for about a week now. I just can't bring myself to just do it and I know I'm wasting time. I have no idea if it's hope that's stopping me or something I'm just not aware of.
I know I'm tired, I know I'm ready, I'm also sure that if I do linger around waiting ("afterlife" which I have come across in videos) it might be days before someone finds me.
At this point I have no reason to be around, I feel like I shouldn't exist. Everyone has been doing just fine without me (presence makes no difference). The one person I loved the most just seems like he to is better off without me, just feel like I'm a problem to him. I really don't understand what's stopping me. I've lost all purpose or sense of reason yet I can't explain it. Perhaps I should just do it and get it over and done with.

The question is, if you really are a problem to him? How about you ask him that, and decide after. If you still feel absolutely horrible about everything, than you have every right to do what you decide to do.

 

[AcidicTearsOfDeath]

The question is, if you really are a problem to him? How about you ask him that, and decide after. If you still feel absolutely horrible about everything, than you have every right to do what you decide to do.

I don't need to ask. His constantly fighting me about me. Multiple times his mom even told me the relationship is toxic and I need to leave because after the first time I am not longer a victim. The things his said to me, it's gotten so bad at one point I felt like I didn't know who I was, I questioned myself on everything and not in a good way. When all someone ever does is fight with you about you, about the things that make you, you. It's a bit hard to not feel like the problem when that's the only thing being fought over.

I don't need to ask. His constantly fighting me about me. Multiple times his mom even told me the relationship is toxic and I need to leave because after the first time I am not longer a victim. The things his said to me, it's gotten so bad at one point I felt like I didn't know who I was, I questioned myself on everything and not in a good way. When all someone ever does is fight with you about you, about the things that make you, you. It's a bit hard to not feel like the problem when that's the only thing being fought over.

That's what I did, kinda hate love at this point.

 

[Inferdan]

I don't need to ask. His constantly fighting me about me. Multiple times his mom even told me the relationship is toxic and I need to leave because after the first time I am not longer a victim. The things his said to me, it's gotten so bad at one point I felt like I didn't know who I was, I questioned myself on everything and not in a good way. When all someone ever does is fight with you about you, about the things that make you, you. It's a bit hard to not feel like the problem when that's the only thing being fought over.

Well, now that I know about that, I can't agree more. Sounds like a horrible guy. If your really okay with this, then make sure to plan your ctb carefully, you don't want to mess it up. Whatever happens is entirely up to you, and be sure your ready when the date arrives. Good luck, Acid. Let us hope there's light for you on the other side.

 

[AcidicTearsOfDeath]

Well, now that I know about that, I can't agree more. Sounds like a horrible guy. If your really okay with this, then make sure to plan your ctb carefully, you don't want to mess it up. Whatever happens is entirely up to you, and be sure your ready when the date arrives. Good luck, Acid. Let us hope there's light for you on the other side.

Thank you 

 

[Idontexist]

Yes I am , my only problem is I didn't find the right method yet. I am really really scared of failing my attempt..

 

[Inferdan]

Yes I am , my only problem is I didn't find the right method yet. I am really really scared of failing my attempt..

A lot of people are saying this, but apparently sodium nitrite (not nitrate) is the way to go. Its painless, and any symptoms that happen won't cause any distress. It's easy to get, too. Look into it more, if your interested.

 

[Idontexist]

A lot of people are saying this, but apparently sodium nitrite (not nitrate) is the way to go. Its painless, and any symptoms that happen won't cause any distress. It's easy to get, too. Look into it more, if your interested.

Thank you for replying me :)! I'm going to do some more research about it.

 

[AcidicTearsOfDeath]

A lot of people are saying this, but apparently sodium nitrite (not nitrate) is the way to go. Its painless, and any symptoms that happen won't cause any distress. It's easy to get, too. Look into it more, if your interested.

If I had the means to purchase it I would, I planned on hanging. I weigh 45kgs and I have a beam in my room which had a punching bag hanging from it, pretty sure it would hold up.

 

[Inferdan]

If I had the means to purchase it I would, I planned on hanging. I weigh 45kgs and I have a beam in my room which had a punching bag hanging from it, pretty sure it would hold up.

Sounds good. Acid, if you want, we can talk a little, before you go. You seem nice, and I want to get to know a bit more about you. You seem like a person worth remembering. Though I may be going soon, too, at least you'd have had a chat with someone beforehand.

 

[CrushedHopes]

100% ready. With all my hopes and dreams gone, I'm just left rotting and wasting resources. I'm sick of all these suicide hotline BS that do-gooders like to promote. And also, "CTB isn't the answer" is another thing that I am sick of hearing as well. Sure, sometimes, there's a way out of a hard situation, and there's hope of things getting better, but that's not always the case. Some of the things you do have long lasting, if not permanent consequences. Or there's just things that are out of your control. So, emphasis on "sometimes".

If you can no longer do what you love, then are you really living? Even if you're physically alive, you're dead inside. It's pointless. I'm so done.

 

[Inferdan]

100% ready. With all my hopes and dreams gone, I'm just left rotting and wasting resources. I'm sick of all these suicide hotline BS that do-gooders like to promote. And also, "CTB isn't the answer" is another thing that I am sick of hearing as well. Sure, sometimes, there's a way out of a hard situation, and there's hope of things getting better, but that's not always the case. Some of the things you do have long lasting, if not permanent consequences. Or there's just things that are out of your control. So, emphasis on "sometimes".

If you can no longer do what you love, then are you really living? Even if you're physically alive, you're dead inside. It's pointless. I'm so done.

I understand you, Hope. I'm glad there are people here I can relate to. Just drifting in life, waiting for something to happen. As you say, it's pointless. Nothing will happen in years and years. If there is no reason to stay, why stay. I agree with you completely.
Also, I see your nearly ready to ctb soon. What's your chosen method, out of curiousity?

If I had the means to purchase it I would, I planned on hanging. I weigh 45kgs and I have a beam in my room which had a punching bag hanging from it, pretty sure it would hold up.

Saw you wrote on my profile, trying to pm you, but I only joined today so, yeh, this is kinda embarrassing :p

 

[CrushedHopes]

I understand you, Hope. I'm glad there are people here I can relate to. Just drifting in life, waiting for something to happen. As you say, it's pointless. Nothing will happen in years and years. If there is no reason to stay, why stay. I agree with you completely.
Also, I see your nearly ready to ctb soon. What's your chosen method, out of curiousity?

I plan to CTB with SN. Also, I would prefer to addressed as either "CrushedHopes" or simply CH. As I am considered to be physically healthy, if I let myself live, assuming that I do not die in an accident, it is likely for me to live up to the 70s, or even 80s-90s. That's a long time to be suffering. I'd really rather not.

I live with regret every single day ever since I've been doxed and outed in late Oct 2019, and I kept wishing that I could have undone my mistakes, so that the past wouldn't catch up to me. But it's too late now. Reality isn't a video game, and you don't get to reload a checkpoint and start over. If I had a choice in the matter, I really, really would have done better.

If you have the time, maybe considering reading my story here.

 

[Inferdan]

I plan to CTB with SN. Also, I would prefer to addressed as either "CrushedHopes" or simply CH. As I am considered to be physically healthy, if I let myself live, assuming that I do not die in an accident, it is likely for me to live up to the 70s, or even 80s-90s. That's a long time to be suffering. I'd really rather not.

I live with regret every single day ever since I've been doxed and outed in late Oct 2019, and I kept wishing that I could have undone my mistakes, so that the past wouldn't catch up to me.

I am truly sorry for everything you've been through, CH. I understand how much hurt that is. This may be cliche, but I live with regrets too, things I wish I've never done. They may be small and trivial, but they matter a lot to me. You have my empathy, CH.
Personally, I'm glad you chose that method, just be sure to be careful with your ctb, and that there'd be no mistakes whatsoever. Though I'm sure this method is almost fool-proof.

If I had the means to purchase it I would, I planned on hanging. I weigh 45kgs and I have a beam in my room which had a punching bag hanging from it, pretty sure it would hold up.

Don't know any other way of replying, but sure, I'll wait. I'll pm you in a few days, once messages starts up. If you want, you can wait until then, too, and we'll talk. Just don't want you to go without something to smile about, at least.

 

[CrushedHopes]

I am truly sorry for everything you've been through, CH. I understand how much hurt that is. This may be cliche, but I live with regrets too, things I wish I've never done. They may be small and trivial, but they matter a lot to me. You have my empathy, CH.
Personally, I'm glad you chose that method, just be sure to be careful with your ctb, and that there'd be no mistakes whatsoever. Though I'm sure this method is almost fool-proof.

Thank you, Inferdan. I've actually been lurking on the boards before I signed up, and I find solace in the fact that people here could empathize with my pain. That's why I signed up, so that I would at least have some like minded people to talk to before I CTB. And I'll promise to be careful - I am looking to have a peaceful CTB, and SN seems to be an affordable and doable option to achieve that. I also did some research on the execution, so that I know what to do.

N is the most ideal method, of course, but it's hard to obtain and it's easy to get scammed if you're not careful. It's also very costly.

I looked up the PPH, and compared all the CTB methods, and SN seems to be the most doable method for me.

 

[Inferdan]

Thank you, Inferdan. I've actually been lurking on the boards before I signed up, and I find solace in the fact that people here could empathize with my pain. That's why I signed up, so that I would at least have some like minded people to talk to before I CTB. And I'll promise to be careful - I am looking to have a peaceful CTB, and SN seems to be an affordable and doable option to achieve that. I also did some research on the execution, so that I know what to do.

N is the most ideal method, of course, but it's hard to obtain and it's easy to get scammed if you're not careful. It's also very costly.

I looked up the PPH, and compared all the CTB methods, and SN seems to be the most doable method for me.

I'm glad you got everything sorted. Well, good luck, CH. I wish that you'll have a better time on the other side, considering that there is one.

 

[AcidicTearsOfDeath]

Don't know any other way of replying, but sure, I'll wait. I'll pm you in a few days, once messages starts up. If you want, you can wait until then, too, and we'll talk. Just don't want you to go without something to smile about, at least.

Sure I can wait. Thank you

 

[Root]

No. If I was ready I'd do it right now. Hopefully I'll get the courage soon.

 

[passenger27]

I'm as ready as I'll ever be.