Are you desensitized to when a member passes?

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Not necessarily that you don't care, but does somebody's CTB affect you the same way since you've joined the forum?

I think that I will always feel heartbroken when we lose someone from SS and it will stick with me for a long time because I relate to them. We all do. I know we all care as well, just in different ways.

I'm soft, I tend to cry at the deaths of people I don't know. While hospitalized recently, I overheard the lady next to me planning her funeral and I cried and had to plug into my tablet and watch cute animal videos. I didn't even know her, but my heart was breaking that she was dying. (Hypocritical, huh?) She looked about 60. I would have traded places with her. Truly.

I guess I just want to see how this makes people feel. Or how they approach their feelings when someone CTBs.

All my love, H xo

 

[marcusuk63]

Short answer to a complicated question but i'm exactly the same .x

 

[pain in my heart]

It hurts, but I always remind myself that the world does not deserve such gentle beings, and perhaps we'll meet again on the other side, where there is peace for our weary souls.

 

[Santiago]

I don't care at all when somebody I don't know passes. Like not even one bit.

I can only feel sad about it when I know their backstory.

Perhaps that makes me a dickhead, but I am who I am I guess. In society I see a lot of hypocrisy. It's like people can give themselves a little pat on the back when they say they care. 5 minutes later they will move on and forget. I would describe that as fake mourning and I'd rather not be a part of that.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I don't care at all when somebody I don't know passes. Like not even one bit.

I can only feel sad about it when I know their backstory.

Perhaps that makes me a dickhead, but I am who I am I guess. In society I see a lot of hypocrisy. It's like people can give themselves a little pat on the back when they say they care. 5 minutes later they will move on and forget. I would describe that as fake mourning and I'd rather not be a part of that.

That's your right to feel this way. I never asked for everyone to have the same answer. It doesn't make you any kind of bad person, you just view things differently than others. x

It hurts, but I always remind myself that the world does not deserve such gentle beings, and perhaps we'll meet again on the other side, where there is peace for our weary souls.

Yes... Me too. We will meet again, free of pain. x

 

[Santiago]

It's good to hear you are willing to accept different views. Many people could learn from that.

I would personally hate it if suddenly people start 'caring' because I killed myself. How do you feel about that if I may ask (as in if you are the one that suddenly gets all the attention)?

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

It's good to hear you are willing to accept different views. Many people could learn from that.

I would personally hate it if suddenly people start 'caring' because I killed myself. How do you feel about that if I may ask (as in if you are the one that suddenly gets all the attention)?

I feel like I will suddenly matter more to everyone I know after I'm dead. Not when I needed it. It happens all the time. I am not taken seriously, called crazy, and when April-May comes, they have to find out somehow. And I will be the amazing young girl who everyone loved (BS).

 

[Santiago]

I feel like I will suddenly matter more to everyone I know after I'm dead. Not when I needed it. It happens all the time. I am not taken seriously, called crazy, and when April-May comes, they have to find out somehow. And I will be the amazing young girl who everyone loved (BS).

Right and that makes complete sense. But then I just wonder how you could care about other people committing suicide when you don't know them?

In my mind people only have that right when they actively tried to help that person while they were alive.

Perhaps it's just an emotional reaction. In that case I wouldn't be able to relate. I guess I am just curious.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Right and that makes complete sense. But then I just wonder how you could care about other people committing suicide when you don't know them?

In my mind people only have that right when they actively tried to help that person while they were alive.

Perhaps it's just an emotional reaction. In that case I wouldn't be able to relate. I guess I am just curious.

It's definitely emotional for sure. It just makes me think about like.. What if they've never done a wrong thing and they have to die. I've always been a nice and selfless person and got a horrible plethora of health problems instead. I was never religious but it got so bad I prayed by my bed as a teen that the pain would end, so I guess I just.. Wonder. Good people don't deserve to die early. But life is a cruel monster.

Short answer to a complicated question but i'm exactly the same .x

Glad to hear you relate.

 

[Stan]

I think it depends as said above how much interaction you had with them. i have shed a tear or two in the past for some members.

 

[HannahB]

No not at all. It hurts me on many levels. Mostly I feel jealous

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I think it depends as said above how much interaction you had with them. i have shed a tear or two in the past for some members.

Yes, I think this is a normal reaction..

No not at all. It hurts me on many levels. Mostly I feel jealous

Yeah, it makes me envious the sooner they go, but I also feel sad that that was the only way out possible.

 

[Roger]

Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

John Donne

 

[Final Escape]

No, and that's why it's incredibly difficult for me to look at the ones when people are ready to go through with it and saying goodbye. I never respond because I always want to say please don't go or something pro life. So I just don't respond. It's just too painful for me to watch people leaving and the heartfelt goodbyes.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

John Donne

Wow. This is absolutely beautiful... x

No, and that's why it's incredibly difficult for me to look at the ones when people are ready to go through with it and saying goodbye. I never respond because I always want to say please don't go or something pro life. So I just don't respond. It's just too painful for me to watch people leaving and the heartfelt goodbyes.

I understand what you mean. I just give well wishes because that's what I would want too when I go in 2020. I'm sorry it's so hard on you to see or know someone has passed. x

 

[Final Escape]

Wow. This is absolutely beautiful... x


I understand what you mean. I just give well wishes because that's what I would want too when I go in 2020. I'm sorry it's so hard on you to see or know someone has passed. x

Yes that's really accurate that poem of the feelings around when people choose to go or feel forced to have to go that way.

 

[Roger]

Wow. This is absolutely beautiful... x


I understand what you mean. I just give well wishes because that's what I would want too when I go in 2020. I'm sorry it's so hard on you to see or know someone has passed. x

The passage is from a work by Donne, but the following is generally held in its own right to be a poem, entitled, "For Whom the Bell Tolls."

No man is an island, entire of itself;
every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were:
any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls;
it tolls for thee."

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

The passage is from a work by Donne, but the following is generally held in its own right to be a poem, entitled, "For Whom the Bell Tolls."

No man is an island, entire of itself;
every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were:
any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls;
it tolls for thee."

This makes a lot of sense and is very well said. Thank you for sharing. xx

 

[TAW122]

The simple answer is, yes, I do feel some sadness knowing that they aren't there anymore (not able to be interacted with, seen, or anything, etc.). Yet, at the same time, I do feel some relief knowing that they aren't suffering anymore and they are truly free from this world (regardless of what society thinks).

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

The simple answer is, yes, I do feel some sadness knowing that they aren't there anymore (not able to be interacted with, seen, or anything, etc.). Yet, at the same time, I do feel some relief knowing that they aren't suffering anymore and they are truly free from this world (regardless of what society thinks).

Yes!! This is exactly what I mean and how I feel. Sad to see them go, glad to see them be at peace.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Hah! I just made a similar thread about this.
It feels weird to see crossed-out names. Did they leave, "leave", or leave..?
Learning to not be too prolife here took a bit of time, but after a bit I've learned a new level of respect for people.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Hah! I just made a similar thread about this.
It feels weird to see crossed-out names. Did they leave, "leave", or leave..?
Learning to not be too prolife here took a bit of time, but after a bit I've learned a new level of respect for people.

It takes some time to understand. I already was pro choice but for some it takes a little bit.

 

[Stan]

Some of the price of success is sadness. Whether it be here or irl. We cannot avoid it.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I always feel bad- although i respect their choice. Its honestly such an unfortunate thing to CTB; that this persons life has become so bad they resorted to this. I do feel "more" with some- but that's because there were more interactions.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I always feel bad- although i respect their choice. Its honestly such an unfortunate thing to CTB; that this persons life has become so bad they resorted to this. I do feel "more" with some- but that's because there were more interactions.

Yeah, I get that for sure. Personal deaths hurt more.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I feel a little sad when anyone goes.
I feel devastated if a friend goes.
I feel conflicted with goodbye threads :
I want to stop them but I want to respect their wishes. I want to support them without offering encouragement. It's hard to know what to say but I want to say smething even if it's inelegant or clichéd.
We are such complex creatures.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

I want to stop them but I want to respect their wishes. I want to support them without offering encouragement. It's hard to know what to say but I want to say smething even if it's inelegant or clichéd.

This. The goodbye threads are hitting me in the guts each time. I tried to vow to post "may your last travels be safe", but I can't get myself to do it. Not every time.
It's immensely "exhausting". I just witnessed somebody give their final goodbye. How the fuck do I even react to that? Do I react? How do I pay respects to that?
It's pissing me off that I can't find an appropriate reaction.

 

[Dystopia]

Over time I've become more desensitised; there's normally a couple of threads a week. Doesn't mean I'm completely numb to it but I respect people's choice, sometimes I find it hard to formulate a response to their goodbye posts..

I agree with others that it affects me more if I've had a few conversations with the person or got to know them more; there's some great people here

 

[Deleted member 1465]

This. The goodbye threads are hitting me in the guts each time. I tried to vow to post "may your last travels be safe", but I can't get myself to do it. Not every time.
It's immensely "exhausting". I just witnessed somebody give their final goodbye. How the fuck do I even react to that? Do I react? How do I pay respects to that?
It's pissing me off that I can't find an appropriate reaction.

It is the same when anyone dies. It can be awkward offering condolences it all seems trite and clichéd. I think it's not so much what you say as that you say something. But it is exhausting.

 

[Jean4]

Just the opposite. For someone who has never had friends, I have made them here. I have experienced here for the first time pain and loss.