Sure thing, autisibling.
much love
it's really no surprise unfortunately. I suggest doing a bit of research on it if you'd like to get the full picture. Fair warning it's very grim and might get you reevaluating your life a bit lol
according to one study (google a bit you should find it) NTs will form negative opinions of autistics near-instantaneously based off of voice mannerisms and body language, regardless of speech content. Giving NT subjects written transcripts of the autistic speakers resulted in no difference in ratings. Meaning you can be the most polite and intelligent autistic in the world and they'll still see an incompetent retard if you don't smile enough or stand right
another fun fact- we're generally extremely isolated, hilariously unemployed, and most of us can't drive!
i'm sorry. I was diagnosed fairly young but didn't actually realize my issues went deeper than ADHD until I was made aware of autism being the disability that got me accommodations when I was 16-17, so i understand the feeling of "why am I such a fuck up?"
I wish the world was kinder to us. hope you're well