Discussion Are you also going to be the first in your family history to CTB?

[gattifw]

I will be and I don't feel guilty knowing it's going to hurt my mom and family, they simply have no way of ever helping me and it's probably for the best that they're not going to be living with a dead weight like me anymore.

 

[eggsausagerice]

yeeeeep, i'll be the first one. i've always kind of expected this, but i assumed my sister might also have suicidal thoughts or try to run away from home. but i'll be the first one. my sister has better coping mechanisms than me and my brother is a nonverbal neet who doesn't really care about much if he can just play video games in his room.

my mom threatened suicide a lot when me and siblings were kids and a part of me wanted to kill herself so she would stop yelling and getting angry at everyone just because she was unhappy with her life. i have a very bad relationship with my mom still, along with everyone else in the family, because of her metal health illness no one is willing to address. i honestly don't know why she wanted to become a mother in the first place if she's such a miserable person. she's also told to kill myself before. after my first attempt i realized that i have no room to fail because my mom would rather have me go through with my suicide than pay for another involuntary hospital bill.

 

[GyreOfAsh]

I think so tbh. At least the immediate one. Not close with further members.

 

[StupidCat]

Yeah, no idea how to make out of it

 

[Forever Sleep]

That I know of, yes.

 

[kuroshimi]

I will be the first one, I think. Although, my sister probably suffered too, but we didn't talk much about it. There was no such cases in my family, at least, I didn't know about them.

 

[negi-maguro]

I will be, including being the first one in my extended family. I think most will not be okay with my decision and I will be made as a bad example for my nephews.

 

[bananamatcha]

Immediate family, yes. In my extended family abroad, I believe only one other person has.

 

[carfemtanyl]

my grandpa committed suicide when my mum was still a kid

it was official ruled a cardiac arrest but he was severely depressed and took tricyclic antidepressants which cause cardiac arrest in overdose

 

[cluefixphantom]

No, there were probably others too. Last week, I ordered a kit from AncestryDNA to find out about my relatives, mainly to check for any suspicion of incest, but let's see what else comes up. I also wanted to test for diseases since I don't have access to medical care, but they only do ancestry so I'll have to look for another provider for my health history.

 

[ShadowedChaos]

My uncle did when I was younger.

 

[Honeybee]

No, my uncle was quite reckless with his life until he finally passed in a drunk driving accident (not his first, mind you)

I'm honestly not sure how much of his behaviour was an active attempt to ctb-I wasn't close with him and he died when I was still in my teens, but, he had a history of disappearing for months, going on benders, extreme paranoia, property destruction, and violence.

No one knew where he was for a while (standard, really) until one night, police called and informed us he had crashed a truck into a tree. Apparently he was so isolated from our family at that point, it took them 3 days to identify and find someone to contact.

I'm sure there's been others in my family, especially those with drug/substance problems. Nothing I've heard about outside of "they were crazy," though

 

[IwantSN]

I don't know that much about my extended family since we're not very close ,but as far as I know I would be the first

 

[SoLowHollow48]

Most likely, yeah. In an Asian family, stuff like this is swept under the rug but I doubt that anyone in our bloodline has ever done it. Seeing my grandparents and other relatives, they don't seem like they have the balls to do it. They just work, work, and work--try, try, and try even if the end result of our perseverance remains the same: death

I guess I should be proud for being such a rebel. My ancestors are going to cast me to hell but... I never liked them much anyways. Never met them. Never cared.

 

[bakenohana]

yep. most likely the first in my extended family too as ive never heard of any of them ctbing. id be the youngest in my immediate family and most of my extended family too, in a way im kinda glad like damn I'm actually first at something

 

[nitrogenous]

I will be and I have no regrets nor negative feelings towards it. My family has always been my number one source of abuse, messed up and controlled me my whole life and this will be the chance for me to break free from them by ctb-ing. Although in saying that, I have to reiterate that I'm ending my life for me and not for them.

 

[SufferingDev]

I think so - I don't have any contact with my family so I don't really care.

 

[itsgone2]

No, my brother. Nothing otherwise, then one set of parents produces two. Unreal. Although most issues are self inflicted, I would have made it if my company hadn't sold. Maybe a ton of bad luck, maybe I'm just evil. Two brothers though, that'll get talked about

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

No--great-grandfather

 

[DonLockwood]

Depends how far back you want to count. I have a great or great great grandfather that took his life after an accident left him permanently unable to work. No welfare back then, so he couldn't get any money for himself. He deliberately posioned himself not long after his injury.

 

[witchcraft]

Yes, but I'm trying really hard to wait until both of my parents are gone first.

This isn't meant to imply any judgment toward any one else. It's a personal decision I've made for my own reasons and am trying to adhere to it.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

Pretty much, yes. I'd be the first. I have a feeli that mental conditions are spreading through my family. It sucks so much to think that just 1-2 generations back my family was fine, however the current generation seems that it'll be the first to mark a decline. It is seeping silently and no one is willing to address nor acknowledge it. By the time they'll realise this has hit our family, it will already be too late. Eating disorders, depression, anxiety, anger management issues. All those psychological complications are incubating in this bloodline.

If I do CTB it might raise some flags, maybe they'll realise something, but I don't care, I'm just saying here.

They refuse to stop the spreading of this via abuse and neglect, and eventually they will see the consequences of their actions. Being an adult and a parent while refusing to take into account the well-being of your goddamn family is something can just be addressed as complete and utmost immaturity, to say the very least.

Dunno if my death would cause a chain effect of shit, but I say I don't give a shit because I don't have any sentimentalism towards my kin.

 

[LigottiIsRight]

As far as I know, I'd be the first in the blood family. One of my political aunts' father committed suicide after his wife died.

 

[tasmaka]

Yea, but most of my family was addicts, and died to their habits, or came sick, and didnt care to get better.

Not the first to die in my own terms but at consciousness probably. Even as one, actions of an addict are hard to understand .

 

[Macedonian1987]

Yes. I'm gonna be the first one. I know no ancestor of mine that committed suicide in the past.

 

[SASU-KE]

No, my mother always reminds me that she took the bus as a wee young lass In the rain,snow and the heat.All while wearing a backpack that was twice her size