Are you actually suicidal?

[Halfhourdays]

Are you genuinely suicidal or here for other reasons?

If suicidal, why?
If not, why do you visit SaSu?

 

[Foolishness]

It's not that I want to die, really. I just don't want to live like this.

 

[Hunter2005]

Not really I just find this pointless, like everyday I ask myself what am I still doing here.

 

[Darkover]

i don't want to be alive here inside this shitty horrible universe i would sooner never exist than ever be alive here nothing good comes of these shitty machine existences life's

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd say it is complicated. Do I want to experience death, do I want to suicide? No. Do I want to stop having to live? Yes. How else can I stop living without killing myself?

So- no, I don't relish doing it but, it seems like the lesser of the evils ultimately.

 

[outrider567]

Always

 

[Freebandzgang]

I want to die because my life is so horrible. If i could have a better life i would definitely choose to live.

 

[Silently Dying]

Absolutely. I've thought long and hard about my decision. I am old enough now to know that nothing in my life will change and I choose not to continue.

 

[SomewhatLoved]

I'm suicidal, but I wish I didn't have to be. Not because I want to live, but because I wish it didn't have to be consequential.

The best part about dying is that things end. People talk about how "nothing gold can stay", "nothing lasts forever", "every beginning has an end", etc. Death is the ultimate end. If life is everything we know, then death is how we rest.

The worst thing about dying is that it has to happen. You have to suffer it, you have to leave behind people who care, you have to be the one to loosen your grip on the world. I wish it was passive. Part of the reason ODing seems so appealing to me is often when people OD they have no recollection of it. It just happens, and they die without even knowing it. No suffering, just over.

 

[Halfhourdays]

I'm suicidal, but I wish I didn't have to be. Not because I want to live, but because I wish it didn't have to be consequential.

The best part about dying is that things end. People talk about how "nothing gold can stay", "nothing lasts forever", "every beginning has an end", etc. Death is the ultimate end. If life is everything we know, then death is how we rest.

The worst thing about dying is that it has to happen. You have to suffer it, you have to leave behind people who care, you have to be the one to loosen your grip on the world. I wish it was passive. Part of the reason ODing seems so appealing to me is often when people OD they have no recollection of it. It just happens, and they die without even knowing it. No suffering, just over.

ODing feels like a pipedream. Everyone wants to ctb this way, but its success rate is abysmal.

 

[DontTouchMeImFamous]

Are you genuinely suicidal or here for other reasons?

If suicidal, why?
If not, why do you visit SaSu?

I genuinely am suicidal and I'm very serious about looking for an actual method to go. I will go as soon as I find the right way. I take this issue very seriously.

Why? I don't have a life. I am unfunctional at all. I am already dead just breathing. I don't see a reason for living. All I do to keep living is numbing myself so I don't fall to the ground.

 

[grapevoid]

Just manically swinging between dying this week and waiting a little longer…. To die or not to die, that is the question.

I'm so tired of talking about why, honestly, in a nut shell it's because life is just too much.

 

[Corvette90]

It's not that I want to die, really. I just don't want to live like this.

I feel this .

 

[Hotsackage]

When you have you been the barracks, even if there is beauty, and come out, you don't forget

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Yes I hate life and being here and don't belong on this planet. I'm too angry to keep living-not in a dangerous way but I hurt people's feelings and no one can understand me. I don't understand this world and all the suffering in it. I don't think I belong anywhere. I usually get banned for getting into arguments because I'm so intense and no one else really takes life as seriously as I do or cries at the news.

Thought I found my place here but my negativity seeped out eventually. Society pretends it cares about saving everyone but the reality is they don't want negative people like me in it. I'm just a fundamentally broken person because I find life so hard and painful. I'm literally the embodiment of the saying "everyone would be better off without me" there's a reason so many depressed people say that-it's because they know how hard they are to be around and there's often an element of truth in it. Well this was super long and nobody really GAF anyway but oh well it was mother's day in the UK and my mum spent the whole day with her friend instead so I think that says it all...she's such a nice person but she's done with my shit and who can blame her really. I don't think I'll be missed even by her.

 

[Goodfornothingbish]

Its complex
Half wants to die - but for all different reasons
One four wants to live
The other doesn't care and knows whatever I do I'll fuck it up anyways soooooooooo

I think if we all actively work towards continuously dying then yeah. But that means one fourth getting on the same page.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I'm not actively suicidal, but I think about it often and plan to end my life at a time of my choosing. (I answered - it's complicated.)

I come here for multiple reasons. At times I use it as a resource to research methods. Other times it's a basic distraction. Overall it's because I value the community.

 

[Outofoptions1]

I think others have summed it up decently. I don't necessarily want to die, but I can't live like this any longer.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm always wishing to not exist and it's all I'll wish for as long as I suffer in this cruel, torturous existence, for me wanting to not exist is a response to existence and I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer all for the sake of it just hoping and waiting for death anyway, for me non-existence truly is all that's positive and it's all I'll ever hope for, I'd just never wish to be burdened with this existence rather I just want peace.

To me existence is the problem, existence just feels like a mistake to me and for me non-existence is all that's positive, if it's up to me I'd choose to erase my existence so it's like I never suffered, I'll just always see existence as an abomination that just causes so much suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how unbearable it can all get and I find it horrific how a human can suffer for so long just to be tortured by old age. I'd personally just never wish to be conscious of anything at all rather I just want to not exist, the peace of an eternal dreamless sleep would solve everything for me in this existence where I'm just hoping and waiting for death anyway.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's complicated.

A big failure in life made me suicidal. Lack of money is the only thing that makes me suicidal.

My situation didn't get worse since I made my account here. It's not much better either.

Things calmed down and currently I'm hardly suicidal.

 

[StrugglingSienna]

Yes. There are some things that I want to experience before I die that I'd like to get out of the way, but I will commit suicide someday. Aiming for on or before my 24th birthday.

 

[Crash_Bash_Dash]

Yes, not daily but almost weekly I think about it. It is my health problems that are the root cause but I also feel quite unhappy and unsuccessful in many other aspects of life too. I feel constant hopelessness and apathy because of these issues and lack any enthusiasm to even execute the bare minimum daily (so freaking depressed grrr...). I've been bedridden with my agony most of the previous year.

Even prior to that I've struggled for years after dropping out of college mainly for a reason that involved an uncontrolled personal emotional outburst because of mainly alcohol consumption (scumbag alcohol... But I still enjoy it...) towards others and humiliating and ashaming inquisition that followed after which left me somewhat devastated, angry and very anxious toward the community there and were unable to attend lectures afterwards because of anxiety and shame. Also COVID came too soon afterwards which sealed my fate as a dropout (technically I am not a dropout yet but I see no hope for returning because of my current situation.) And it's been all downward spiral after that...

I feel just worthless piece of trash whose ashes should be thrown into the trash can with regular waste after I'm dead. That's what I've been thinking, yeah :D

I was about to make this text a full-fledged rant but I abstain myself right now from doing that. It should be written on a separate thread.

 

[LastNite]

I'm still here cuz I had no money and no method to end it all but I've got the money and soon the method so I'd say yes I'm suicidal but Im not proud of it because I dont want to die but theres no other genuine option where I see my self in a better state

 

[Vaskel]

C'est compliqué, oui. Je ne pense pas être réellement suicidaire. Dans ce cas, je l'aurais probablement déjà fait. Je ne veux tout simplement pas vivre la vie que j'ai. Depuis ma naissance, il y a eu des hauts et des bas, mais les choses semblent empirer. J'ai déçu tant de gens qui s'intéressaient à moi. Et aujourd'hui, je vois leur vie sans la mienne, et la mienne sans la leur. Je vois ma famille, qui n'a jamais su m'accepter telle que j'étais et qui, encore aujourd'hui, traite mon mal-être et ma vie avec plus ou moins de mesquinerie. On m'a souvent accusée d'avoir des problèmes mentaux. Sans même les mentionner. C'est probablement plus facile de penser que de réfléchir. Mais après tout, qui peut dire le contraire ? De plus en plus de choses semblent le prouver. Mais si c'est vraiment le cas, je suis déjà condamnée. Je ne pense donc pas être suicidaire comme la plupart des utilisateurs de ce site. Je ne veux plus de cette vie et je ne sais tout simplement pas si j'ai vraiment un avenir. Si l'avenir vaut vraiment la peine d'être vécu, s'il ne dépasse pas mes forces comme cela a souvent été le cas, étant donné ma fragilité, le suicide est la solution la plus simple, la plus directe et celle qui me promet la paix intérieure. Ce qui n'est clairement pas garanti pour le reste de mon existence.

 

[Saturnrings20]

Are you genuinely suicidal or here for other reasons?

If suicidal, why?
If not, why do you visit SaSu?

I am. I'm just trying to get brave enough to follow through. I also want to go by helium so I have already turned out my method. I'm so tired of this f-ing life!

 

[PurpleMorality]

I'm glad "it's complicated" is an option.

I hate what this world is becoming and I don't want to live in it. The country where I live was making so much progress, but is now backsliding at an alarming pace and it's putting me and my loved ones in danger. Do I stand defiant and live, or do I take the easy route? I'm tired. I'm so, so tired.

There are things I live for, but I'm not sure it will be enough. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's burning bridges, and once I put myself in a place where I'm alone, what is there to live for? I already feel half dead, a disconnected ghost, I just haven't committed to making it permanent.

 

[MathConspiracy]

I've entered a phase of genuine suicidality.

My mindset used to be "I don't wanna die but I don't wanna live either", but now I truly see no point in life. I feel like I'm looking at life through a thick wall that lets nothing come through. Life is a scam. I've started to think that none of this is real. I can no longer connect with the person I used to be. I feel like I'm in a dream. I feel like I can't fathom the concepts of life and death anymore.

 

[s00ngone]

Agreed with many of the replies here: I don't necessarily want death, or to die, but I sure want to stop having to live. Frankly, the inevitable trauma I'll cause with my death is much more of an immediate concern than my death itself, currently. Who knows whether that'll change when my SN gets here and it becomes real.

 

[astonishedturnip]

It's not a hard "yes" as I currently have things keeping me here. And although some users crave death and a permanent end to existence, I don't have the same motive. I enjoy life, or at least parts of it. I just know there is nothing but pain and loneliness waiting for me. I'm also a fragile and unstable person who will not be able to survive the grief of losing the ones I love. I'm not strong enough to handle how hard the world is. I'll be alone, and I can't do it alone.

"I don't want to die. I want to start over. I want to start my life over again from the beginning." -Tokyo Twilight

 

[emmiile]

trying to figure out. it is a constant thought i have had for quite some time it started as "i don't want to die i just wish i didn't exist in the first place" then ig it eventually started evolving into being suicidal or something close to that because to an extent i see it as some sort of punishment. i haven't been diagnosed so i feel like a fraud for even thinking that i am but deserving nothing but death is a feeling i can't shake and it even comes to me randomly even without having a meltdown