Venting Are we in hell?

[Lavínia]

Most days, I sincerely think this is in fact hell. I also don't think there really are normal people living normal lives. They're lying, faking it, too stupid to realize now but surely will someday.

I had an experience with this, understanding that people live, yes, they do. Routine throws a rope, thin and in constant tension. This is "everyday life". Walking the rope slowly, steadily. With work, week and routine, I stayed on this rope for a long time. You forget things, more days come. You don't ask yourself questions, you accept and carry on. You eat, drink, read, talk, sleep and wake up. And do it again, in the tension of your steps continuing. Without looking down, without falling. I think that living "normally" is being on this rope as one, with your insides wrapped around it. There is no way to fall. Everything that I considered as identity, belonging and valuable idea, the source of what I think and like, has no value on the rope. It doesn't matter when walking on it, it's just a distraction. I don't think it's stupidity, it's how life is seen, and perhaps it is in harmony with it, just this rope and nothing else.

 

[GoSan1]

Here's how I explain to myself in simple terms what's happening in my version of hell. I believe the universe is bigger than life and tells us what is right or wrong. The universe over rules life. If something in life feels wrong/unfair, it is against the universe. When we can't stop a wrongness from happening, and this is what happened to make me suicidal, it's like unreality kicks in, because it should not be happening. Then everything might as well end because there is no point. There is nothing if there is no universe, even life cannot exist in a dead universe, so we become dead inside. That's why I feel we can decide when it's Game Over. But I also believe that sometimes, there may still be some hope or fight left, and this is why I'm still here.

I just hope that the Universe listens to my wishes and that it will one day in some way fulfill them...

 

[Valhala]

We are, of course. Theoretically, constant pain and suffering might be worse, but if you only felt pain and nothing else, you wouldn't even know about the possibility of the absence of pain, so you might even tolerate it.

 

[GoSan1]

We are, of course. Theoretically, constant pain and suffering might be worse, but if you only felt pain and nothing else, you wouldn't even know about the possibility of the absence of pain, so you might even tolerate it.

The day I would be able to tolerate this is the one where I have either found an angel, making it tolerable, or me dying. Inside or outside, whatever comes first.

 

[Ligottian]

I crave oblivion.

 

[25jiyuki]

The amount of times I thought I hit rock bottom only to be dragged deeper, I can't ever count. I assumed I couldn't suffer any more mental pain, but then there's abuse. Heartbreak. Disappearance or backstabbing of those I once loved. Every time I started to feel comfortable with life, one of these things would happen and I'd be right back where I started. Alone, and obsessed with the idea of suicide and self-harm.

I feel like I've become a hundred different people over the past years. Each instance of trauma twisting me more into something I'm not, the kind of person I hate being. I'm sick of it. If there is a god, why hasn't he saved me? Even now I know the only way for true peace is to kill myself. I'll never be content with this life that batters me over and over again, until I can't recognize myself.

I thought I could lose myself in love, maybe I could live for someone else. But deep down I know it's worthless. I would be better off dead. It hurts, this feeling of longing to be with someone, while knowing it'll never truly make me happy. Knowing I'll still end up dead by own hands.

The only way out is infinite peace, right?

I'm just rambling. But I'm saying I agree.
This has to be hell we're living in.

 

[Daenerys Targaryen]

No, hell falls short for us

 

[outrider567]

There are tolerable moments, but everything still is just a basically lonely and depressing hell, surviving on just memories

 

[GoSan1]

The amount of times I thought I hit rock bottom only to be dragged deeper, I can't ever count. I assumed I couldn't suffer any more mental pain, but then there's abuse. Heartbreak. Disappearance or backstabbing of those I once loved. Every time I started to feel comfortable with life, one of these things would happen and I'd be right back where I started. Alone, and obsessed with the idea of suicide and self-harm.

I feel like I've become a hundred different people over the past years. Each instance of trauma twisting me more into something I'm not, the kind of person I hate being. I'm sick of it. If there is a god, why hasn't he saved me? Even now I know the only way for true peace is to kill myself. I'll never be content with this life that batters me over and over again, until I can't recognize myself.

I thought I could lose myself in love, maybe I could live for someone else. But deep down I know it's worthless. I would be better off dead. It hurts, this feeling of longing to be with someone, while knowing it'll never truly make me happy. Knowing I'll still end up dead by own hands.

The only way out is infinite peace, right?

I'm just rambling. But I'm saying I agree.
This has to be hell we're living in.

This comment has felt especially relatable. The craving of wanting to love and be loved. To have someone to live for and to be with them, but also knowing that such a thing would never be possible. I can't ever think about being loved, it's just a dead hope. Hoping that there is someone out there to save me, but no one's there. And even if, that it might not be enough for this shithole of a place...

I do realize that I did have some luck on here, since my aphantasia restricts me from imagining love, cause I for sure would have killed myself already if I had images with it too.

Either way, this is cruel.
But why us?

 

[Astronomer]

Can't be anything worse than this life can there?

 

[Geodude77]

The Gnostics believe that the universe was created by a malevolent entity which trapped souls into material bodies and that the world is ruled by evil beings called archons. Honestly I feel like that's one of the best theological explanations possible. Other than that, I the only other explanation for why we are here is that life is just kind of an accident. Earth was just kind of a chemical soup at one point and a couple billion years later we happened. Everyone wants there to be some significant reason why we are here but there probably isn't imo.

 

[GoSan1]

The Gnostics believe that the universe was created by a malevolent entity which trapped souls into material bodies and that the world is ruled by evil beings called archons. Honestly I feel like that's one of the best theological explanations possible. Other than that, I the only other explanation for why we are here is that life is just kind of an accident. Earth was just kind of a chemical soup at one point and a couple billion years later we happened. Everyone wants there to be some significant reason why we are here but there probably isn't imo.

I hope it's more than just this. Its kinda pathetic how a terrible human like me can still hope for some kind of salvation. haha...

 

[imOK]

It's just really difficult to stomach that there's no reason. It's completely contrary to how our brains work I think.

Every few years or so I study different mainstream religions. One thing that jumps at you right at the beginning is how many of their loudest followers get them completely wrong. They all have nice ideas, I especially like some of the ideas of Buddism, the least theistic of the big religions, and can see why hipsters westernized it. But it's always possible to see the human influence, especially in the context of the time the religions formed, and if you do enough research you can also see how no religion is really static and how they shaped over time and are in fact quite fluid. For recent examples, e.g. protestants became sexually open in the 60s-70s in many countries and christian catholics had the rule from the beginning that suicide is one of the worst ways to reject god and a surefire way to end in Hell until to about the 90s, were the church basically changed it's mind somewhat and said "meh, sometimes people are just really suffering and mentally ill" and went bigger on the "mercy" factor and basically said if somebody unalives himself it's up to god if he can go to heaven but it's not impossible. Lots of catholics haven't gotten that particular memo which is funny because in catholicism what the church says is like, really important. It's a very "centralized" religion. This is in line with pretty much all of the mainstream religions, they all came around to recognize the mental health factor to varying degrees, because of the times we live in (first time in human history were mental health is even a thing, and it's a really recent development, to boot).

So basically, religions flipped from "You'll burn in hell!" to "Well, maybe God understands depression?" as soon as we understood neurochemicals.

There are even older examples where views shifted, e.g. acceptance of slavery, heliocentrism (that Galileo thing) or even polygamy and caste systems that are now rejected. So you clearly see that religion is something man-made, because they keep adapting to current societal, scientifical and cultural pressures. If religion was the result of the mandate of a higher being that's all knowing and all seeing, you'd think it'd get the rules right on the first go. Some religions counter this clear flaw with the fact that human's are fallible. Islam for example distinguishes between "Allah's perfect truth" and "fiqh", basically human interpretation. "Oh, how convienient" you say and you do have a point. You can always argue that the bigger plan is for religions to evolve to come closer to the "truth" and you'd never be wrong. In my weakest moments I even have looked for answers myself, but I could find none.

There's only one answer: We are meaning-craving creatures trapped in a universe that doesn't care.

And that's really it. It's so incredibly horrifying that nothing matters and everything is meaningless until we cease to exist that people came up with all this. It is literally easier to suffer for a higher meaning than to just exist in an uncaring and meaningless universe, even if that existance is objectively pleasant.

Is that Hell? No, it just is.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

At least in Hell I would be told I'd be suffering instead of being sold the illusion that happiness may be attainable, at least the demons of hell supposedly would exist only to torture and would be akin to a wild hungry polar bear with a sadism to them instead of someone who can pretend to be good and back stab you at any time.

At least in Hell I know that in theory I'd be punished equally for whatever sins I may have committed (talking about hell as a concept not a specific one), here on earth you can get punished for no reason, I bet the kindest people or one of the kindest of all time died still believing something will change after their death, that by turning a blind eye or forgiving things can change , they don't. Those who kill laugh afterwards, they don't understand, you can only kill them back in this world, it's by design, all of it is, nothing will be changed in our life time, our only saviour is a world ending event to cleanse this pathetic excuse of a species.

 

[ringo99]