Venting Are we in hell?

[GoSan1]

***Disclaimer: This post might trigger suicidal thoughts and an existential crisis. Please only read if you're either dead inside or can handle it***


Why are we alive? What in all existence was the point of giving us life, if it turns out like this? Is this some test or entertainment for something beyond our comprehension?

I seriously can't grasp just how and what this is supposed to be. I see people having normal lives, and I can't ever see myself in such a spot.
All I see is suffering, like it has become a part of me. People on here go through so much shit as well. It makes 0 sense.
There is no way this is all there is to it, I mean honestly, you cant believe that shit as well, right?
There has to be some meaning to this, either that we led a terrible past life or something...

I just finished Omori, so I am a bit emotional as well, but the whole game was built upon forgiveness and getting over tragedy, yet all I saw in this game is how terrible life all is.
I lost count of how many times I messed up things, how many times I had these nights of mental collapses, of seeing other people's posts of suffering.
I do not want to believe such a thing. That this is all there is for us. It's not fair. Not fair at all!

Is there nothing that can help us? I can't do this anymore. Yet I can't kill myself. But I want to. That shit repeating in my head over and over and over, while playing a role over the day.
Others lose their lovers, have become mentally ill, have been abused, have gotten addicted, are sick, or are disabled...

All hope is dead. It's just this.
Even this damned post is not changing anything.
Just letting out anger and frustration. We will never get better.
Cruel, and now the tears fall.

 

[meloncholia]

I think the fact that the experience of pain is only possible through sense-perception means that a large part of what anyone is experiencing at any given moment is pain, or at the very least discomfort. Non-existence precludes pain, either through having not been born or having died. But in my own personal perspective, there's not really an existential point to pain, it's mostly just a torturous absurd tack-on to being alive. Not sure if that's better or worse, but I find it freeing in some ways that there's no purpose to pain as I can't blame myself as being divinely punished, despite how much it feels that way sometimes.

 

[brokeandbroken]

***Disclaimer: This post might trigger suicidal thoughts and an existential crisis. Please only read if you're either dead inside or can handle it***


Why are we alive? What in all existence was the point of giving us life, if it turns out like this? Is this some test or entertainment for something beyond our comprehension?

I seriously can't grasp just how and what this is supposed to be. I see people having normal lives, and I can't ever see myself in such a spot.
All I see is suffering, like it has become a part of me. People on here go through so much shit as well. It makes 0 sense.
There is no way this is all there is to it, I mean honestly, you cant believe that shit as well, right?
There has to be some meaning to this, either that we led a terrible past life or something...

I just finished Omori, so I am a bit emotional as well, but the whole game was built upon forgiveness and getting over tragedy, yet all I saw in this game is how terrible life all is.
I lost count of how many times I messed up things, how many times I had these nights of mental collapses, of seeing other people's posts of suffering.
I do not want to believe such a thing. That this is all there is for us. It's not fair. Not fair at all!

Is there nothing that can help us? I can't do this anymore. Yet I can't kill myself. But I want to. That shit repeating in my head over and over and over, while playing a role over the day.
Others lose their lovers, have become mentally ill, have been abused, have gotten addicted, are sick, or are disabled...

All hope is dead. It's just this.
Even this damned post is not changing anything.
Just letting out anger and frustration. We will never get better.
Cruel, and now the tears fall.

Not going to lie. This is definitely my own personal hell. I have wondered that myself.

 

[Pale_Rider]

I ask myself this question often.

 

[Withered]

Everything sucks butt. We are living in a hellscape upon which only a lucky few peer down from their ivory towers, shielded from the fire it brings. But it's okay, almost peaceful, even, to accept that's just how the cookie crumbles. We should be thankful we have the ability to leave it whenever we want albeit inhibited by SI.

 

[Griever]

I don't know if there's a hell, but this life feels like I'm in hell

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Most days, I sincerely think this is in fact hell. I also don't think there really are normal people living normal lives. They're lying, faking it, too stupid to realize now but surely will someday.

 

[iw2live_idkhow]

I don't think this is hell, more likely some kind of purgatory. I feel like we are the universe experiencing itself, and sometimes the universe is hurting, you know?

It's not really fair I guess, but then life doesn't really care about what's fair. It just is. And sometimes what it is is shit.

 

[divinemistress36]

Prison planet. Our parents decided to fuck without a condom and here we are

 

[SecretDissociation]

I would metaphorically think yes, because life keeps getting worse. I would be inclined to believe we aren't in hell if things just stop getting worse and I find the worse of the worse things, but since on earth worse just multiplies like some kind of multiplier bonus I'm inclined to believe this is hell, because the religious type of hell also functions on a multiplier thing because you just burn forever, and it's probably always painful especially if you believe in eternal hell and the different levels of hell or whatever.

Although I'm not religious so idk. But this is my hell anyway.

Also, if this is hell I better reach heaven when I die. (Would much prefer to just cease consciousness forevermore)

 

[AnimusLapsus]

Sure as hell feels like it.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Pale_Rider]

I don't think this is hell, more likely some kind of purgatory. I feel like we are the universe experiencing itself, and sometimes the universe is hurting, you know?

It's not really fair I guess, but then life doesn't really care about what's fair. It just is. And sometimes what it is is shit.

Well yes I have played with idea that its actually purgatory also. At least there my pain serves a purpose.

 

[wantingdignity]

I kind of like the idea of "One must find Sisyphus Happy" by Albert Camus. The idea is basically that life is absurd and it can only be lived by facing the absurdity. Sisyphus is doomed to roll his bolder for eternity. He both leans into and defeats to absurd if he finds enjoyment out of it.

Albert Camus is also the guy that asks the question, "Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?"

I'm gradually starting to lean towards the cup of coffee.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I see people having normal lives, and I can't ever see myself in such a spot.

This is… very relatable.

I don't really understand why someone like me would exist in this world. Similar to you, I also wonder if I am in Hell. Considering that I attempted in the past, sometimes I wonder if I actually succeeded and that is why I am in Hell.

 

[liskuntreat]

u feel like this because u failed biologically, its way too common nowadays, due to negligent parents

 

[Ijustcantanymore]

It does seem like we've been in the Bad Place the whole time, doesn't it?

 

[Darkover]

Life, at its core, is a cycle of suffering, struggle, and inevitable loss. Though some may claim that life contains joy and meaning, these fleeting experiences are overshadowed by the relentless pain that defines existence. From the necessity of consuming other beings for survival to the cruelty of disease, injustice, and the looming certainty of death, life operates more like a punishment than a gift. Even the things we cling to—our relationships, possessions, and identities—are temporary illusions, as nothing truly belongs to anything, and everything ultimately disintegrates. If hell is a place of suffering, loss, and meaninglessness, then we are already living in it.

One of the most disturbing truths about existence is that survival requires destruction. Every living being must consume others—whether animals or plants—to stay alive. This brutal system ensures that pain and death are inescapable aspects of existence. Predators hunt, prey suffers, and even plants are cut down and devoured. There is no escape from this cycle; to exist is to take from others. A world that forces its inhabitants to kill and consume just to delay their own suffering and death is not a paradise—it is a hell designed to sustain itself through endless pain.

If life were inherently good, it would not require artificial improvements to be tolerable. Modern medicine, electricity, heating, shelter, and grocery stores make life easier, but they only serve to mask the brutality of nature. Without these human-made systems, disease, starvation, and exposure would be inescapable. The mere fact that humans must continuously create things to make life livable proves how unbearable life naturally is.

If life were not hell, innocent children would not be born with cancer, genetic disorders, or into extreme poverty and war. They did nothing to deserve such suffering, yet life burdens them with pain from the moment they enter the world. There is no fairness, no divine justice—just a chaotic system that assigns misery at random. The existence of childhood suffering alone proves that life is not a gift but a cruel lottery where even the most innocent are subjected to pain.

One of the greatest illusions of life is ownership. People dedicate their entire existence to accumulating wealth, possessions, and relationships, yet nothing can ever truly be owned. Everything we claim to possess—our bodies, our homes, even our memories—will eventually fade, be lost, or be taken from us. Relationships dissolve, objects decay, and even our sense of self changes over time. In the end, everything returns to nothing. Life gives us attachments only to rip them away, ensuring that suffering is inevitable.

No matter how much effort we put into building, maintaining, or preserving, everything eventually falls apart. Empires collapse, families break apart, bodies decay, and even the universe itself is headed toward eventual destruction. The impermanence of everything makes life feel like a cruel joke—no matter what we do, time erases all traces of our existence. If life were not hell, it would not be built upon a foundation of inevitable loss.

Even if one manages to avoid disease, starvation, and loss, death is inevitable. Every connection, every achievement, and every fleeting moment of happiness will disappear. And for what? Most people live and die without making any significant impact, their lives amounting to nothing in the grand scheme of the universe. If existence had a purpose, it would not end in absolute erasure. Instead, it follows a pattern of temporary struggle, suffering, and destruction.

If there were any fairness or order to existence, suffering would have limits. Yet the universe is indifferent. Natural disasters, pandemics, and accidents wipe out innocent lives at random. There is no reason for who suffers and who prospers. If there were a creator, they would either be absent, indifferent, or outright malevolent. If there is no creator, then existence is simply a meaningless accident in which suffering is an unavoidable consequence. Either way, there is no justice—only pain, randomness, and the slow decay of everything we value.
Conclusion

All aspects of life confirm that we are living in hell. Existence demands suffering, survival requires destruction, and everything we cling to is temporary. Even with human-made comforts, life remains a fragile, painful experience that ends in inevitable loss and oblivion. Nothing truly belongs to us, and everything eventually disintegrates, leaving behind only the hollow memory of what once was. If hell is defined as a place of suffering, impermanence, and meaninglessness, then we have been living in it all along.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, it's just so cruel and horrific to me how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how much one can suffer, to me existence truly is the most harmful, torturous abomination that just causes all this pain and suffering, it all just feels like a mistake to me and I'd never wish for any of this, existence to me is just so futile, it's just waiting to not exist anyway and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was even imposed at all.

 

[GoSan1]

Everything sucks butt. We are living in a hellscape upon which only a lucky few peer down from their ivory towers, shielded from the fire it brings. But it's okay, almost peaceful, even, to accept that's just how the cookie crumbles. We should be thankful we have the ability to leave it whenever we want albeit inhibited by SI.

I honestly can't find peace with such a thought. It's too cruel for me to accept.

Most days, I sincerely think this is in fact hell. I also don't think there really are normal people living normal lives. They're lying, faking it, too stupid to realize now but surely will someday.

Oh, but they do. It is not stupidity or anything, they can just live on here, without being too sad or cursed. I have talked to so many people who have normal lives.

Good for them. There is more than enough suffering.

I don't think this is hell, more likely some kind of purgatory. I feel like we are the universe experiencing itself, and sometimes the universe is hurting, you know?

It's not really fair I guess, but then life doesn't really care about what's fair. It just is. And sometimes what it is is shit.

Just like my response to Withered, I can not accept such a thing. It is too flawed and cruel. It shouldn't exist. Not at all.

This is… very relatable.

I don't really understand why someone like me would exist in this world. Similar to you, I also wonder if I am in Hell. Considering that I attempted in the past, sometimes I wonder if I actually succeeded and that is why I am in Hell.

The only thing I do not get is why, if that's the case. Why did we have to exist to begin with, then? I know I'm very flawed and do many bad things, but I never wanted this. I wished for different things, wanted to be different and exist somewhere better... But all I got was this.

It does seem like we've been in the Bad Place the whole time, doesn't it?

Oh, it does... It so badly does.

All aspects of life confirm that we are living in hell. Existence demands suffering, survival requires destruction, and everything we cling to is temporary. Even with human-made comforts, life remains a fragile, painful experience that ends in inevitable loss and oblivion. Nothing truly belongs to us, and everything eventually disintegrates, leaving behind only the hollow memory of what once was. If hell is defined as a place of suffering, impermanence, and meaninglessness, then we have been living in it all along.

Life would then be a mistake. A product that shouldn't and couldn't exist like that. Something is keeping it alive by that logic, and to that something, I would only ask, "Why?".

I understand, it's just so cruel and horrific to me how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how much one can suffer, to me existence truly is the most harmful, torturous abomination that just causes all this pain and suffering, it all just feels like a mistake to me and I'd never wish for any of this, existence to me is just so futile, it's just waiting to not exist anyway and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was even imposed at all.

Exactly. I just do not want to accept that this is all. There has to be something for us in the end, or at least something that will make all this suffering be for a reason. I mean, please don't tell me it's just this. What even was the point then? It would just be a waste. So many beautiful dreams crushed by a reality too cruel to even write about.

 

[imOK]

***Disclaimer: This post might trigger suicidal thoughts and an existential crisis.

I like your confidence.

I don't know, I don't feel it's that complicated, for some life sucks, for some it doesn't. Some brains are broken and no matter what's done externally, it'll always suck. For some it changes somewhen during it's runtime. It's all completly random and meaningless in the end. The universe is uncaring (in a good and in a bad way) and you're not the center of it, either. I actually feel that's quite comforting sometimes.

 

[veinofether]

Existence is hell, oblivion is heaven

 

[GoSan1]

I like your confidence.

I don't know, I don't feel it's that complicated, for some life sucks, for some it doesn't. Some brains are broken and no matter what's done externally, it'll always suck. For some it changes somewhen during it's runtime. It's all completly random and meaningless in the end. The universe is uncaring (in a good and in a bad way) and you're not the center of it, either. I actually feel that's quite comforting sometimes.

Maybe that reality is one I can't accept ever. Something like that isn't just flawed, it shouldn't even exist to begin with. It makes me mad, sad, and just full of despair.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm not sure we'll ever find an answer to the existential question of why we are alive. It could be that there is no reason. That natural forces and chance brought life about and that it evolved to the level of consciousness we have. We have proof of evolution so- that one should be sorted. As to why very basic amoeba's appeared originally? I guess- because conditions were right for them to form.

Really though- I'm not even sure why people become so existential about it. We were born because our parents decided to procreate. It's really that simple. Why they decided to do that though- could be a number of things. Instinct to reproduce, desire to experience parenthood and love, societal/ family pressures. Maybe they thought they could give their children a good life. Maybe they loved life and assumed their children would to. Maybe they struggled in life and thought having children would give them a purpose. (The most frightening reason to my mind. Children aren't crutches!) Maybe they had them as a kind of insurance in the hopes they would take care of them in old age.

Even if there is a God who decided to create life, humans ultimately have enough sense to make choices. So- we're here because our parents- rightly or wrongly, decided to bring us here. Why they would want to do that though- all things considered- I struggle a lot more with. I don't see how they could be thinking clearly- or, selflessly anyhow.

As for why life is the way it is- I suppose it's because the world mostly runs on a competetive model. Everything fighting to survive. With a finite number of resources and space, I suppose it is inevitable it will end up like that. The human world is not so different to the animal one in that regard. We try to gentrify it by inventing ideas like equality and equal opportunity but ultimately, it's still a struggle for dominance and survival. So- we simply perpetuate or comply to the system and parents continue to pop out baby meat for the grinder.

 

[GoSan1]

Existence is hell, oblivion is heaven

I don't like Oblivion, it's not what I want. But maybe it's all I deserve.

I'm not sure we'll ever find an answer to the existential question of why we are alive. It could be that there is no reason. That natural forces and chance brought life about and that it evolved to the level of consciousness we have. We have proof of evolution so- that one should be sorted. As to why very basic amoeba's appeared originally? I guess- because conditions were right for them to form.

Really though- I'm not even sure why people become so existential about it. We were born because our parents decided to procreate. It's really that simple. Why they decided to do that though- could be a number of things. Instinct to reproduce, desire to experience parenthood and love, societal/ family pressures. Maybe they thought they could give their children a good life. Maybe they loved life and assumed their children would to. Maybe they struggled in life and thought having children would give them a purpose. (The most frightening reason to my mind. Children aren't crutches!) Maybe they had them as a kind of insurance in the hopes they would take care of them in old age.

Even if there is a God who decided to create life, humans ultimately have enough sense to make choices. So- we're here because our parents- rightly or wrongly, decided to bring us here. Why they would want to do that though- all things considered- I struggle a lot more with. I don't see how they could be thinking clearly- or, selflessly anyhow.

As for why life is the way it is- I suppose it's because the world mostly runs on a competetive model. Everything fighting to survive. With a finite number of resources and space, I suppose it is inevitable it will end up like that. The human world is not so different to the animal one in that regard. We try to gentrify it by inventing ideas like equality and equal opportunity but ultimately, it's still a struggle for dominance and survival. So- we simply perpetuate or comply to the system and parents continue to pop out baby meat for the grinder.

The issue I have with all this science stuff is that it's man-made. It is what humans deem as plausible. But it could all be wrong, just like when someone mistakenly believes something until proven wrong. But since it somewhat worked out, they thought it was the right answer. Like a code, it can be completely terribly done, yet still work cause the basis is somewhat right.

It's my belief tho, since I believe in a god. So this is where we see things differently...

 

[Ashes of a Dreamer]

Why are we alive? What in all existence was the point of giving us life, if it turns out like this? Is this some test or entertainment for something beyond our comprehension?

I've already faced this questions, and here are my answers (don't expect them to bring some relief):

1. We are alive because someone else decided to have a son, and we somehow managed to stay alive;

2. There isn't any point in existence, albeit you can create one - or many - to bear its void;

3. If this a test or entertainment for something beyond our comprehension, well, we'll never know until we level up our understanding of things - and humanity still can't prove there is something else than this life.

Life sucks

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't like Oblivion, it's not what I want. But maybe it's all I deserve.


The issue I have with all this science stuff is that it's man-made. It is what humans deem as plausible. But it could all be wrong, just like when someone mistakenly believes something until proven wrong. But since it somewhat worked out, they thought it was the right answer. Like a code, it can be completely terribly done, yet still work cause the basis is somewhat right.

It's my belief tho, since I believe in a god. So this is where we see things differently...

I guess the best/ truest science out there examines facts and then, comes up with theories. True enough though- the theories could of course be wrong. In which case, the theories change to fit the best hypothesis for the facts available.

Ironically, the problem I have with religion is, I also think it could well be man-made. Religion doesn't seem so different to science in grasping hold of a few tangible things- texts, reports, sightings and then, running like mad with them to create something they insist is right. There are between 4,000 and 10,000 known religions in this world. How do you pick the correct one?

Sure though- if there's a God behind all this then- there's also intention. Unless they are a lazy, complacent, naive and incompetent God. In which case, maybe they just clumsily brought life into effect for something to do and then buggered off somewhere and forgot about it.

If it's all planned though then, the way I see it is- either the overall plan is in fact good but, we just can't envisage it. Maybe all this suffering is for some reason.

Why they couldn't have achieved that goal without a whole lot of suffering though is surely questionable. They're God- surely they could do anything! The design is pretty poor. Animals needing to kill one another in order to survive. It's a pretty sick game.

Or- God is a sadist or, God is less powerful than another being that is sadistic.

I find it odd when religious believers want it all ways though. Their God is omnipotent so- presumably they could end suffering if they wanted to but they don't. Therefore- they must want their creatures to suffer- for some reason.

Believers tend to defend God and blame humankind. Stretching as far back as when they ate some fruit they weren't supposed to. But- being all knowing and designing humans with a weakness for temptation- God must have known the outcome. Why put the apple tree there in the first place? Why create the serpant/ snake or allow it to slither about the place tempting them further? Maybe God wanted them to resist but he/she/it must have known they would fail. (In the Christian tradition anyhow.) God knows everything- right?

If God knows the choices I'm going to make before I make them and intends to punish me for making the wrong decisions, why bother making me do the test? Why not just condemn me to hell? How is it a genuine outcome even if I've been designed to fail? Why has God given beings the capability of having paedophillic desires for example? Surely, God doesn't want their flock to go about molesting children and babies? So- they want us to resist temptation but they know some people won't- right? Why is God willing to sacrifice those innocent children? What kind of 'father' does that?

All of this is why I so want to be an atheist though. I think the prospect of a being like like that in charge is horrific.

 

[GoSan1]

Life sucks

Agreed.

 

[divinemistress36]

Life, at its core, is a cycle of suffering, struggle, and inevitable loss. Though some may claim that life contains joy and meaning, these fleeting experiences are overshadowed by the relentless pain that defines existence. From the necessity of consuming other beings for survival to the cruelty of disease, injustice, and the looming certainty of death, life operates more like a punishment than a gift. Even the things we cling to—our relationships, possessions, and identities—are temporary illusions, as nothing truly belongs to anything, and everything ultimately disintegrates. If hell is a place of suffering, loss, and meaninglessness, then we are already living in it.

One of the most disturbing truths about existence is that survival requires destruction. Every living being must consume others—whether animals or plants—to stay alive. This brutal system ensures that pain and death are inescapable aspects of existence. Predators hunt, prey suffers, and even plants are cut down and devoured. There is no escape from this cycle; to exist is to take from others. A world that forces its inhabitants to kill and consume just to delay their own suffering and death is not a paradise—it is a hell designed to sustain itself through endless pain.

If life were inherently good, it would not require artificial improvements to be tolerable. Modern medicine, electricity, heating, shelter, and grocery stores make life easier, but they only serve to mask the brutality of nature. Without these human-made systems, disease, starvation, and exposure would be inescapable. The mere fact that humans must continuously create things to make life livable proves how unbearable life naturally is.

If life were not hell, innocent children would not be born with cancer, genetic disorders, or into extreme poverty and war. They did nothing to deserve such suffering, yet life burdens them with pain from the moment they enter the world. There is no fairness, no divine justice—just a chaotic system that assigns misery at random. The existence of childhood suffering alone proves that life is not a gift but a cruel lottery where even the most innocent are subjected to pain.

One of the greatest illusions of life is ownership. People dedicate their entire existence to accumulating wealth, possessions, and relationships, yet nothing can ever truly be owned. Everything we claim to possess—our bodies, our homes, even our memories—will eventually fade, be lost, or be taken from us. Relationships dissolve, objects decay, and even our sense of self changes over time. In the end, everything returns to nothing. Life gives us attachments only to rip them away, ensuring that suffering is inevitable.

No matter how much effort we put into building, maintaining, or preserving, everything eventually falls apart. Empires collapse, families break apart, bodies decay, and even the universe itself is headed toward eventual destruction. The impermanence of everything makes life feel like a cruel joke—no matter what we do, time erases all traces of our existence. If life were not hell, it would not be built upon a foundation of inevitable loss.

Even if one manages to avoid disease, starvation, and loss, death is inevitable. Every connection, every achievement, and every fleeting moment of happiness will disappear. And for what? Most people live and die without making any significant impact, their lives amounting to nothing in the grand scheme of the universe. If existence had a purpose, it would not end in absolute erasure. Instead, it follows a pattern of temporary struggle, suffering, and destruction.

If there were any fairness or order to existence, suffering would have limits. Yet the universe is indifferent. Natural disasters, pandemics, and accidents wipe out innocent lives at random. There is no reason for who suffers and who prospers. If there were a creator, they would either be absent, indifferent, or outright malevolent. If there is no creator, then existence is simply a meaningless accident in which suffering is an unavoidable consequence. Either way, there is no justice—only pain, randomness, and the slow decay of everything we value.
Conclusion

All aspects of life confirm that we are living in hell. Existence demands suffering, survival requires destruction, and everything we cling to is temporary. Even with human-made comforts, life remains a fragile, painful experience that ends in inevitable loss and oblivion. Nothing truly belongs to us, and everything eventually disintegrates, leaving behind only the hollow memory of what once was. If hell is defined as a place of suffering, impermanence, and meaninglessness, then we have been living in it all along.

This is why Im antinatalist

 

[SmilingNoMore]

Why are we alive? We just are. Is this hell? It may very well be. Nobody knows anything really when it comes to why humans are here, and what this is, do they? What's the point? I think for everyone it is different, if it's even possible to find a point. Some people are not searching, they just are. Some are questioning and never find it. For some it may come in time. For me it came in a person, and when I lost this person, my point was gone. Does it matter in the end? When we die, no. But when we are still here, it matters because it feels like hell while it shouldn't.

I also don't accept that "life is not fair" and we have to just deal with it. If something is not fair, we shouldn't have to accept it. Yet, the unfairness is all over, and it's so random. Where we are born, the circumstances growing up, how every incident leads onto another, choices making paths, making things happen, and things happening with us having no control. Dominoes.

Here's how I explain to myself in simple terms what's happening in my version of hell. I believe the universe is bigger than life and tells us what is right or wrong. The universe over rules life. If something in life feels wrong/unfair, it is against the universe. When we can't stop a wrongness from happening, and this is what happened to make me suicidal, it's like unreality kicks in, because it should not be happening. Then everything might as well end because there is no point. There is nothing if there is no universe, even life cannot exist in a dead universe, so we become dead inside. That's why I feel we can decide when it's Game Over. But I also believe that sometimes, there may still be some hope or fight left, and this is why I'm still here.