Are u escaping pain or just dying?

[StrawberryRed]

It's common for people to say that suicide is about " escaping pain, not actually wanting to die". But I straight up just want to die, it's not really about escaping pain. I'm not in that much pain, mental or physical. I'm just very apathetic , over being alive, over my life, not interested in my future. Not interested in anything except getting all this over with. I dont want when I'm dead for people to say I was too blinded by emotion to think. I'm not emotional just done.

 

[TheHolySword]

Both I guess. Mentally I am in nonstop pain and suffering. I don't just want it to end, I need it to end. But also I want to die because life cannot offer me anything anymore. I have ruined my life and there's no going back to fix any of it, I'm not interested in surviving in the world I created.

 

[Edu Ardanuy]

As for my reasons, I think I have seen enough in this life. That's my main reason. Nothing is going to change. Well, I'll not be missed. I'll be remembered just for a little while as being weak and a total flaw. A coward.
And the world will remain the same, essentially.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

Both I guess. Mentally I am in nonstop pain and suffering. I don't just want it to end, I need it to end. But also I want to die because life cannot offer me anything anymore. I have ruined my life and there's no going back to fix any of it, I'm not interested in surviving in the world I created.

Pretty much my thoughts. How could I continue to live like this? I can't.

 

[prettyclam]

I'm dying just to die too lmao. That part about being uninterested in the future is suuuper relatable. I don't have any goals, or passions, or anything really, so I'd rather die now than see what the future has in store for me (which is nothing)

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Even though you don't think you are depressed, Apathy is a sign of depression. Meds might be able to help you.

 

[over2025]

There are certain problems that are unfixable, determined by a long trial of failing to solve it and by calculating that there are no other solutions left. For me, this is the greatest reason that I am considering it. To escape. pain.

 

[pictures]

i thinks its more of a sense of purpose than anything

 

[newstart2000]

There are certain problems that are unfixable, determined by a long trial of failing to solve it and by calculating that there are no other solutions left. For me, this is the greatest reason that I am considering it. To escape. pain.

Me as well. Suffering and want to escape and end.

 

[Trav1989]

Emotional anguish is what's getting me, knowing certain things happened that were/are out of my control tear me to pieces.

That and just how life is in general weighing me down.

At this point I just want to have control over how and when I CTB because this life has been extremely chaotic and I'm just done with it at this point.

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

I guess I'm escaping pain. I'm just done with life, done with the eternal loneliness and failed friendships, done with feeling like an alien every time I look into the mirror, done with seeing my dreams slowly be crushed, done with watching the future get worse and worse. I'm done with trying to succeed in a world that fails us over and over again, and the only way I see out of the future that await us is death.

 

[pariah80]

Not so much escaping pain as leaving an empty existence. I'm leaving because the human world is one of pointless suffering, needless competition, and too many absurdities to just shrug off as "that's life." Life shouldn't be like this. My soul is at odds with its own existence. I'm leaving to avoid future pain.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm (gratefully) not in extreme pain. It kind of depends on how you define pain though. If certain things about life cause you to suffer eg. Money worries, wage slaving and- you can't realistically change those things then surely, it's life itself you have a problem with.

Like- if I told the average person that just having to conform to life- working, maintaining a living environment, maintaining my own health makes me miserable- they'd likely find that a pretty flimsy excuse for being 'in pain'. That's just life- right? That's what everyone has to do. So- I'd say it's more the aspects of life that are unavoidable that I'm keen to escape from. Like you OP, currently I'm more at the level of being deeply fed up rather than being in constant pain.

I have been in genuine pain in the past though and, I fear experiencing more of it in the future. So- that's a other reason really. To try and avoid future pain.

But, it's a dumb saying I think. Like- life would be ok if only you won the lottery. If only you didn't have an untreatable illness. If only you were born the gender you feel. I feel like that saying is (as always) based on this idea that life is fundamentally brilliant for everyone underneath it all. You just need to fix a couple of problems and, you'll love it! It doesn't take into account that for many, their problems are almost intrinsic to their lives. Some problems are incredibly hard to fix or even mitigate.

 

[milkcarton]

For me it's about escaping pain. Not that I see anything in the future either but I have good moments. Once they are over though, the pain is there again. Just tired of it. For now ctb is plan B.

 

[doneforlife]

No matter how much justification we give , at the end it all boils down to one mathematical equation ...is my pleasure greater than my pain ?

You may be apathetic, nihilistic , depressive , anxious, in physical pain or psychological pain , it all contributes to pleasure not being greater than pain ( even if there is no pain in the real sense). In some cases people hope that would change in the future. Others have lost hope. That's all about it.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Both. I want to die to escape the pain that I'm currently going through due to merely being alive as well as escaping any future pain and risk that could happen to me. I also want to die because life itself just isn't worth living. It's full of pointless hardship and struggle and I say that it's pointless because we die in the end anyway. I can't see a good reason as to why I should have to live for another second longer

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as I would never wish to exist, non-existence is all I personally wish for, I have no interest in being burdened with this existence and never would do. I simply wish to cease existing in peace and never exist again, I never would have chose existence in the first place if it's up to me, as long as I exist I'll only ever wish for death, under no circumstances would I wish to exist.

 

[maka]

Escaping pain. Being lonely in life is quite literally killing me to the point where my physical body is shutting down. There's a constant tightness in my throat. I have horrible headaches and I constantly feel like throwing up. I haven't been able to breathe properly for the past few days and feel like I could collapse at any moment now. Even my body is giving up, so I should too to avoid any future complications.