Are they all making fun of me?

[asdfboyima]

Maybe I'm just paranoid because I'm secretly trans but it feels like all of my friends are out to get me, and to make fun of my looks. They constantly post gender-disaffirming ugly pictures of me, make fun of my looks, call me 'disproportional', etc etc.

I know I'm going to kill myself soon anyways, but I really wanna know the truth.

 

[NekiLik]

You seem to have low self-esteem and/or may be sensitive. Not that I mean anything bad by it just saying, it is OK if you do. Sometimes people make fun of others just because they can, and keep the conversation going or as "friendly jokes" so I wouldn't say it's malicious. But I could be wrong, it's hard to tell without being present there when they do it.

 

[asdfboyima]

You seem to have low self-esteem and/or may be sensitive. Not that I mean anything bad by it just saying, it is OK if you do. Sometimes people make fun of others just because they can, and keep the conversation going or as "friendly jokes" so I wouldn't say it's malicious. But I could be wrong, it's hard to tell without being present there when they do it.

Both of those things are probably true, yeah. I guess I just wished that people would stop doing that a lot, but since I'm AMAB I'm expected to laugh and carry it on.

Sometimes I just want to kill myself right now just to spite my parents and friends. I feel like it would teach them a good lesson, even if they do ultimately forget it in the long run.

 

[NekiLik]

I guess I just wished that people would stop doing that a lot, but since I'm AMAB I'm expected to laugh and carry it on.

Is it possible to talk with them about it? They sound like shitty friends if it isn't.

 

[SexyIncél]

Are you able to able to say "My dear friend, I know these are friendly jokes, but let's joke about something else for a while, because they're causing me depression"

If they continue despite that, then they're motivated by sheer disrespect

 

[asdfboyima]

Are you able to able to say "My dear friend, I know these are friendly jokes, but let's joke about something else for a while, because they're causing me depression"

If they continue despite that, then they're motivated by sheer disrespect

I think that's a little corny to say to a close friend. In my opinion, close friends should be just about laughing and making jokes, being happy all the time. Because I'm an AMAB at birth, it's difficult to talk about mental health issues without getting ostracized for it. I feel confident that, if I ever do decide to open up, it will be met with a flurry of laughter and unseriousness. I think the only way to show them how much it meant is by killing myself.

 

[SexyIncél]

Argh. Yeah, I sometimes say stuff like that with an ironic tone... But ok then they're just monkeys

 

[doormat25]

I feel that people make fun of me/say mean things about me when Im sad. They don't like me. Those that say they are my friend are lying.

 

[Shrike]

They constantly post gender-disaffirming ugly pictures of me, make fun of my looks, call me 'disproportional', etc etc.

That doesn't sound very friendly to me. And you absolutely should be able to talk about things with close friends. If you cannot, they're not that, they're acquaintances. We really have diluted what "friend" means.

There's a number of LGBT friendly communities you can join where people will support you and not make fun of you.

That isn't to say that IRL acquaintances are not at times useful, but you should then know their words have no meaning to you.

But it comes down to what you're comfortable with. This behavior seems to distress you, you can ask them to stop. If they don't take you seriously, you can stop interacting with them (assuming you're not trapped with them). This is setting boundaries, but it does require being willing to lose those people.