Anyone's reason to ctb is the death of wife or husband?

[LMLN]

Maybe, it's unfair of me yo ask you this, but if he were married or living independently with a partner, would you have ctbd?
I'm trying to understand why my father did it despite how much he loved me. Why didn't he go through for me and my son?

Well tbh, notice I said still fighting. I dont know if I can make it yet. I love my son more than anything on earth yes. But the pain is horrible. If he had his own family and was ok, tbh I might. It's not that your father did not care or love you. I cannot stress that enough. Just like I know my husband loved me and never wanted to hurt me when he ctb.
It's the pain. And emotional pain is still pain. The pain got to be more than he could live with. He loved you and your son. Dont ever doubt that. I'm so sorry again.

 

[zeroambition]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I plan to ctb after my mother passes away because I won't be able to cope losing her. It's so hard because I fantasize about suicide everyday but I have to wait potentially 30 years until I can ctb because I don't want her to suffer losing her son.

 

[Thereisalwaysachoice]

That is certainly a good reason to want to ctb.

 

[Yoko26]

My father ctb in is 65 bc my mother died of cancer and he wouldn't live without her, even though he really loved me. Anyone here can understand him? Please, be constructive.

Dear little one, I totally understand your dad, I'm exactly in the same situation, my partner passed away a month ago and he was only 32, it was an car wreck and I feel I can't keep going without him, my parents in law are legally fighting for money, so I'm planning for Nembutal as soon as I finish al the legal stuff for my love. I can't keep going, I feel dead inside, my body is here but my souls is broken and dead. Please don't be mad or sad at your dad, it's pretty annoying to listen to people obligating you to live a life where you don't have a reason for living you are going nowhere, and your dreams and future died with your partner. The only way is following your partner wherever he/she is. That's the only relief for this pain. Believe me, if that was his decision it was something he really wanted. It's incredibly hurtful that everyone is forcing you to let your love go, to forget and keep moving on with a life without your other half. I totally understand how he feels. If you wanna talk feel free to reply here.
malos is someone is in the same situation please reply over here I'd love to talk with people in my same situation.

I'm so sorry for all the losses you've suffered.

My husband died two years ago with cancer and losing him has been the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life. I can't speak for your father or anyone else, but my life has no meaning without my husband. I have no children, my parents and all my siblings are dead already, and my husband's family is not the most supportive of me.
They're not bad people, but I think they just either don't know how to help me or have no understanding of what I'm going through.
I've suffered many losses in my life, but the loss of my husband has been by far the worst I've ever suffered. It has affected each and every facet of my life. There's not one area of my life that has not been profoundly changed and affected by the absence of my husband.

I also think that when you're part of a couple for a long period of time, having that person be gone is like losing your arm. It's like a piece of you is missing and it's painful as hell.

I wish you peace

I feel exactly the same...my newlywed husband passed away a month ago...I just don't want to keep alive without him!

 

[LMLN]

Dear little one, I totally understand your dad, I'm exactly in the same situation, my partner passed away a month ago and he was only 32, it was an car wreck and I feel I can't keep going without him, my parents in law are legally fighting for money, so I'm planning for Nembutal as soon as I finish al the legal stuff for my love. I can't keep going, I feel dead inside, my body is here but my souls is broken and dead. Please don't be mad or sad at your dad, it's pretty annoying to listen to people obligating you to live a life where you don't have a reason for living you are going nowhere, and your dreams and future died with your partner. The only way is following your partner wherever he/she is. That's the only relief for this pain. Believe me, if that was his decision it was something he really wanted. It's incredibly hurtful that everyone is forcing you to let your love go, to forget and keep moving on with a life without your other half. I totally understand how he feels. If you wanna talk feel free to reply here.
malos is someone is in the same situation please reply over here I'd love to talk with people in my same situation.

I'm in your situation. Feel free to PM me if you would like.

 

[Littleone]

I am so sorry for your loss, trying to understand this is complex, but in the simplest way. The relationship your parents had was a love so strong that together they created new life (you). They were partners, best friends, and lovers, and that relationship is far different than a parent / child. often times when a spouse dies the other follows close behind, from the grief and the heart ache, they just simply stop living. Your father loved your Mother so much he could not imagine a life without her. That is incredibly romantic and speaks to the power and intensity of the love he had for her. When a person becomes truly suicidal you have to understand they cant think about anything other than ending their own pain. This in no way does not mean your father did not love you or consider you, he probably just could not hold on any longer. Again, I'm deeply sorry for the loss of your parents. Mine are both gone. I will say this... we should all be so lucky to find a partner we love so much we simply cant live without them. I know this doesn't ease your pain...

I'm sorry for your parents loss too.

Thank you for your words. You describe very well how they were and lived. I really enjoyed reading your post. Very wise and kind.
I want to think that they had a happy life, despite their tragic ending, but it saddens me thinking about the years of sickness and all the suffering.
I understand what you say, I wish I loved my husband as much as my father loved my mother, but for me they had an unrepeatable relationship.

 

[Littleone]

Dear little one, I totally understand your dad, I'm exactly in the same situation, my partner passed away a month ago and he was only 32, it was an car wreck and I feel I can't keep going without him, my parents in law are legally fighting for money, so I'm planning for Nembutal as soon as I finish al the legal stuff for my love. I can't keep going, I feel dead inside, my body is here but my souls is broken and dead. Please don't be mad or sad at your dad, it's pretty annoying to listen to people obligating you to live a life where you don't have a reason for living you are going nowhere, and your dreams and future died with your partner. The only way is following your partner wherever he/she is. That's the only relief for this pain. Believe me, if that was his decision it was something he really wanted. It's incredibly hurtful that everyone is forcing you to let your love go, to forget and keep moving on with a life without your other half. I totally understand how he feels. If you wanna talk feel free to reply here.
malos is someone is in the same situation please reply over here I'd love to talk with people in my same situation.

I feel exactly the same...my newlywed husband passed away a month ago...I just don't want to keep alive without him!

Dear @Yoko26 I'm so sorry for your partner loss. My heart goes with you. I understand both you and my father. He had lived a quite long life with my mother, however you are still so young... It's terribly unfair, and I share your pain when other people tell you to get over. Life has stopped and it seems so cruel that other lifes go forward.
I know that you don't want to keep alive without him, but I'm sure his only wish would be that you did it. I've met some people who lost their partner at a similar age than you, and they say that it's obviously the most painful experience, but years later they are happy to be alive. Their memory stays with you forever, and we can remember the good things we lived together. I'm trying to do this. I know we aren't in the exactly same situation, but I think I can understand you. If you want to talk, I'm here.

Well tbh, notice I said still fighting. I dont know if I can make it yet. I love my son more than anything on earth yes. But the pain is horrible. If he had his own family and was ok, tbh I might. It's not that your father did not care or love you. I cannot stress that enough. Just like I know my husband loved me and never wanted to hurt me when he ctb.
It's the pain. And emotional pain is still pain. The pain got to be more than he could live with. He loved you and your son. Dont ever doubt that. I'm so sorry again.

Dear @LMLN, I want to sincerely thank you your words, because everything you and others in this forum tell me is helping me. It's so sad to imagine the emotional pain my father was suffering, and how he had to plan and carry out his ctb alone, without sharing it with me. I guess you're now feeling that pain, and I'm so sorry for that. I feel connected to you, because you bring back to me my fathers memory, and I'm truly grateful.
I really wish you could cope with your pain, and have again happy moments in a future. Your son has a great mum, and I'm sure your husband deeply loved you. I can see my family reflected in yours.
Love.