I don't understand block and repair
So here is one example from my life if you care to listen. I want to approach a girl. I see one, I don't approach, I feel regret, I think more (this is the important part). If you don't think more and fall into a situation where you blame someone besides yourself, you will not solve the problem because of your avoidance. Let me be clear i use avoidance in cases where the best thing for me to do is ignore it. It is also called selective memory. When the most productive thing for me to do is avoid pursuing an outcome besides the one that is currently set, I move on to affecting other outcomes.
So back to the thinking more..... I think more..... and I remember what happened, feeling the emotions that are associated with each action and reaction, or what emotions are assumed to be associated with each reaction. Basically explained, I remove my ego from the past that I am thinking of and think why each thing happened once the thing before it happened.
So, many of the goals that I develop throughout each recollection as I pinpoint what I want my personality to be(perceived as by me/and others), are I want to be in a position where I feel like I am the leader or bigger person. I associate efficiency with these things.
Here is one more specific example, someone tells me in school that I am (a bad thing).
Here are my options
React in a way that portrays that you care about what they said.
React in a way that portrays (remember to yourself/and the audience) that you do not care.
It is also important to understand that if you are going for a connection to the person, reacting in a way that makes them think they mean nothing to you with make them not want to test whether you care about what they say.
If you react in a way where you want to change their opinions, you are conceding that they have power over you, and you admire them.
So let's elaborate on why I would react in a non-caring or caring way to a mean thing someone said.
Maybe you understand that mean things which are said are not mean but interested comments.
Maybe you want to make the person think you like them and are subordinate to them because you like being led.
It is up to you how you want to be interpreted.
There are multiple ways to guide each situation.
A block might be that you are mad at people for insulting you.
One way around it is to realize that, by executing the action that they assumed would lead to you begging them to stop, in the form of acting sad or rebelling verbally, they are portraying that they care about your opinion. They might think you are cute.
Maybe you like being treated in an subordinate way and what you are really mad about is the fact that they only incorporate you into their lives subordinately from a distance and refuse to make you their bf/gf.
So if you did not want to feel helpless and dependent on their approval, you would not care about what they said.
That is it. You don't care and if they approach you, you laugh at their attempt at making you their own(their dependent subordinate person) mentally or more physically) and this will portray that you do not place yourself as subordinate when they act this way towards you, but think of them as less confident people grasping at straws(people) who will agree to their terms(that they are the holders of the keys to approval in life around them).
The blockade was your dependency on their approval, and the repair was you teaching yourself to not care.
One method to teach yourself to not care is to..... look straight ahead, and notice how you are the same as how you were the previous step(physical step) and trust that you will be the same for the coming steps(many of them). After doing this once, you will have the confident not caring feeling down. If you know tha tyou are dependent on the approval of someone you deem admirable, you don't convince yourself you don't need it, you convince yourself that you need the leadership of someone else who is good in ways that you approve of.
This is a common social hierarchical dilemma.
That is why I spoke of it.
Another example could be nervousness.
Similar thing actually.
If you realize that your nervousness is because of your will to be appreciated by the audience, you will be able to feel more comfortable in your own shoes. When you are thinking one thing but your heart is saying another, the conflict internally distracts you to the point where you can't think efficiently. I would admit you want the approval of the audience, and that might help you focus on what needs to be said in order to meet that goal. Or decide you don't care and speak for the approval of your own conscience.
