Venting Anyone tired of talking about it because it doesn’t solve anything?

[Circles]

I'm coming to the conclusion that even sharing and talking about this is becoming yet another thing that's pointless because nothing will change or help make me not feel like I'm sinking into nothing. I'm tired of overthinking about how depressing life & death can both be and feeling it manifest and battle within myself, that it all feels like we're only here to suffer and die and be hopelessly forgotten like a crime going unnoticed. Not that it matters to a complete nobody like myself. Welp just wow.

 

[SinisterKid]

I reached the point where I was talked out, literally. I told my head doc and the team and thats when they decided I was "stable" and discharged me. To say I was happy to not have to talk about anything after that was a massive understatement. Telling the same shit to 20 different people is not a cure or even a fix in my opinion. Talking to the same person over a period of time about your issues, now that might actually get somewhere.

The thing is though my friend, other than talking and taking endless meds, what else is there? I wish I had something more positive to add, but I am in a better frame of mind by having my method sorted and ready whenever I want it. As long as that continues, I am glad to never talk about my issues ever again.

 

[Partial-Elf]

I would agree with this. I used to be really active here but have been gone a couple weeks and plan to stay off SS for as long as possible after tonight.

I found it valuable to learn the details of two reliable methods (hanging and shotgun) and vent about pro lifers limiting my actions... but at a certain point I had read most of the kinds of threads that pop up and was going on the same old tracks.

I also found that getting on this site was making my SI a lot worse–I only think about the noose 5-6 times per day now rather than 500-600, and usually in response to a stressor. There were other behaviors I changed to reduce that level of ideation, but still.

It's definitely a valuable site which has massively changed my outlook on life. It's also the forum I've resonated the most with (and I've spent time on several). But I think if I'm going to off myself now it's just a do or don't, like you were saying. I've overthought it enough, researched it enough, and processed it enough.

 

[GreenDagny]

Yes it gets old. I hate that my brain cannot focus on much else at this point in time, very annoying. I am still in researching phase. Hopefully after that I can drop the obsession as well and just take or leave it.

 

[Sweet emotion]

YES! Not with you guys but I hate it when doctors want me to see a therapist because of my physical pain that can't be cured. I can talk about it until I'm blue in the face! Nothing is going to change it! And talking happens to be one of the things that hurts me the most since the condition is inside my ears and head and talking and listening makes it ten times worse. I was blackmailed into seeing a therapist and I came out of her office and had to go to the emergency room. So the therapist told my doctor we would talk on messanger but the dumb bitch never figured out how to install it. Now I'm being pressured again. I refuse to go into one more office and leave in more pain than I entered in. I told them it kills me to talk and the doctor says, well maybe it won't. I told him I was hurting at that very minute talking to him. But he kept saying over and over until I literally put my hands out as if to strangle him....mybe it won't. I wouldn't mind seeing a therapist if it didn't hurt. But putting me in more pain and reducing my pain meds doesn't make sense to me. Not going to happen. Talking actually helps my mental state s little, actually writing does but I could talk forever and nothing would change.

 

[LastFlowers]

I am tired of talking about it, yes. I am tired of being sick and tired and I am tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired.
And of talking about the same things over and over again.
But it's either that or robotic silence, keeping all the insanely painful thoughts inside. I really just want to scream it all in someone's face.
I can't talk about anything else because I'm still living the same hell I have been for years, only getting worse and worse.
My whole existence is steeped in this shit, so of course, when I do speak, that's what comes out.

I want it to be over and done with.
I want to destroy my body, my existence, my memory..I want to burn it all away from the world in an instant. So I don't have to talk about it, think about it, or live it any longer.
But I'm so concerned about ending up a vegetable or losing anymore control, and I do not have access to my prefered method as of yet. I also still need to rid myself of things I don't want found when I am gone..I just have so little energy to do even that.
There's no more guarantees in death than there are in life. I wish death were easier. Because life sure isn't.

 

[Mr2005]

Yes. I don't tend to talk about myself all that much. There's enough people competing for attention that can actually be helped so I try but that doesn't always do me any favours either

 

[Circles]

I know this is an old thread but it's mine so fuck it anyway. I want so hard to convey how I feel, but it's hard. Talking becomes so pointless when no one understands. And even if you do talk people don't care. But why should I care if people don't care? I don't fucking know why. I don't care either but still I want to yell at everything and everyone for not listening. I want to show my family how I view life and everything. I'm tired of feeling so isolated in how I'm feeling even on a place like here. I feel like the only ones who feel so hurt mentally and physically like myself are already dead people. People say you aren't alone but ultimately we're all alone in our suffering and no person listening to any of this can help change or get rid of that suffering. It's as though suffering makes me need to show what it is like a monstrous crime that needs to be investigated. I'm probably not making any sense but that's the thing there's so many indescribable things, moments, emotions, etc. that is hard to put into words. It's an endless battle wanting to talk only to realize how utterly hard it is to do. Uggghhh.

 

[Meditation guide]

I try hard to keep my focus on ctb and my issues because it's easy for me to forget my mission in every day life.
This is not a fun or pleasant topic to me but it's necessary to remember every day that it's something I must do.
I would much rather be focusing on a life improvement mission but as a realist, I know that things are going to keep going downhill.

 

[Lostandlooking]

It just depends on who you're talking to. I only found two or three people in my lifetime who I can talk to and not feel misunderstood. And even with them I sometimes find it hard to connect. Talking with a therapist most often just frustrates me more. And I'm unable to explain why it frustrates me. When I try, the therapist doesn't really understand and comes up with unhelpful ways of dealing with this. It's this endless cycle of trying to explain something to someone who just has a fundamentally different experience of themselves and the world. It always frustrates and gets me nowhere.

 

[signifying nothing]

I did less than a year of talking therapy. Three years of various types of body therapy was where I really made the most progress in terms of letting traumatic stuff go. So yeah, I hear you, talking can only go so far.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm tired of thinking about it!
All I do is think and think and I don't solve anything. It certainly sucks

 

[demuic]

It's so tiring having to explain your life story each time you get a new therapist or psychiatrist. It's only been about 7 different times for me but it's already exhausting. I do agree that having one long term professional who's familiar with you could be helpful, but there's really nothing you can do if that professional has to leave, or you have to move, or you start seeing someone and realize they aren't a good fit or doesn't understand you and now you have to start over again.

Talking doesn't fix things, but for me I do like to let things out. But there are still some things I can't even talk about.

 

[massiveblackhole]

i find chatting on this site really helpful, it makes me feel better. but talking to anyone else like therapists is really pointless and frustrating, you just go around in circles and they tell you the same unhelpful shit that doesnt make you feel any better.

 

[newave3]

Well, I guess there's nothing left to talk about.
Although, I would add I have nothing to add.

 

[Blowba]

Honestly it just becomes so repetitive and useless talking it out with so many people made me realize im just stuck in the same place and things dont really change or improve after talking it just becomes so dull