Until recently, I was delusional, thinking that the universe somehow would make everything right eventually; and that I would be able to experience this thing called "happiness", news fucking flash, the universe doesn't give a shit. These mental issues are here to stay. And no matter what happens, even if I do get a degree or a job, it will all be useless cause I know I'll just be back in this exact spot. So I don't crave anything a "normal" person would crave. No ambition, no drive, no motivation.
What I do now at 21 years old is: wake up at 11 AM, eat, play video games and browse the internet, play more video games, eat an awful lot of food, sleep, repeat.
Playing video games is now starting to bore me too so I am looking forward to the days where I'll probably not leave my bed all day long.
I think I'm pretty mentally disabled.
p.s.
Also, I can't really leave the house anymore but I need to go out for groceries, I'm thinking of having groceries delivered but I'm scared of what the delivery man will think of me, he must look at me, a young person, and be like so weirded out, he probably only delivers to old ladies. Ugh.