Discussion Anyone have kids?

[MissingCircadian]

I have a 16 year old son and I worry about the impact my CTB will have on him. I worry about if it will change the trajectory of his life but I just can not stay.

 

[Nichols]

I have a 5-year-old daughter but she lives in a different country with her mother. I've taken out life insurance for her.

 

[JohnUK]

I don't have any kids.

 

[Meretlein]

I don't have kids although I feel like my suicide will crush my parents. If your condition is as horrible as it sounds, i'm sure your son will understand.

 

[Broken]

Nope and as each year passes I feel more like I never will have kids. I've had so many issues in relationships and been hurt that I just don't have hope that I can succeed in that area of my life. I know you can't start a family on the assumption your partner will never, fuck you over/leave you but I'm broken enough as it is and don't think I can handle any more losses in life

 

[DrownedOctopus]

I have a beautifuly 2 year old daughter. Did what I could to prevent her because of the way I am.
I love her so much, but I don't want to be alive anymore.

 

[noonetoo]

I wish I had one but I'm going to have a lot of trouble even trying to "make one". I think it'd give me a will to live. I could stop focusing on my own life and past and start focusing on molding someone else's to be way, way better and safer and more loved than mine was.

They're always going to need you. You take a piece of their heart when you leave. But I understand if you feel stuck because of it.
I have a niece that loves me but I don't get to see her because she has a horrible mom. You may not think it's the same but it's only human to feel sympathetic, even empathetic.

 

[Chlo]

I wish I had one but I'm going to have a lot of trouble even trying to "make one". I think it'd give me a will to live. I could stop focusing on my own life and past and start focusing on molding someone else's to be way, way better and safer and more loved than mine was.

They're always going to need you. You take a piece of their heart when you leave. But I understand if you feel stuck because of it.

I can understand how you feel, I've admittedly felt the same before, but having a kid because it might give you a will to live is a terrible reason in my opinion..

 

[21Neberg]

I can understand how you feel, I've admittedly felt the same before, but having a kid because it might give you a will to live is a terrible reason in my opinion..

I agree with you. Personally, I'm never having kids not only because I'll never have that choice (lol) but also because I don't want to pass my pain onto anyone else.

 

[noonetoo]

I can understand how you feel, I've admittedly felt the same before, but having a kid because it might give you a will to live is a terrible reason in my opinion..

Well I've been surrounded by people that have kids, always rubbing it in my face that I don't have any. After spending a lot of time in my life, wishing to die, but still here, I would want to at least find a purpose. Have a family of my own since the rest of mine doesn't really care for me. I've had a lot of bonding moments with my niece but my older sister, who is a child abuser; she got envious. It's a really empty feeling that I can't be around her or even save her. : (

 

[Chlo]

Well I've been surrounded by people that have kids, always rubbing it in my face that I don't have any. After spending a lot of time in my life, wishing to die, but still here, I would want to at least find a purpose. Have a family of my own since the rest of mine doesn't really care for me. I've had a lot of bonding moments with my niece but my older sister, who is a child abuser; she got envious. It's a really empty feeling that I can't be around her or even save her. : (

Why not get the authorities involved if she's abusive?

 

[noonetoo]

Why not get the authorities involved if she's abusive?

I have.
Several times.
It's any typical situation; where people manipulate the kids to not say anything, fake a lovely home and in denial when a social worker pops up.
I even went above and beyond to file a domestic violence report when she kicked me once. I grabbed a steel toe boot and made the bruise bigger. But because I mentioned she abuses them, they dropped it as a family matter and denied any charges.
CPS rarely saves kids. The people hate their jobs and they really don't have much power to save them. It's sad, people getting away with so much horrible things.

 

[Apollo D. Ryker]

No kids, due to a lack of choice. One I've never been able to financially support myself, and two, I've never found a woman stupid enough to spend that much time with me.

The upside is that I won't be able to ruin a woman who may or may not have loved me, hypothetically speaking. And I won't bring another life into a world that their own father didn't understand well enough to navigate with joy and love.

My parents were fucked up, so it's on me to stop this foolishness.

 

[Dead beat dad]

I have a 14 month old son.
I feel your pain, do you know what research there is in the effect of parents suicide in children?
I've been doing a bit but since I am new to this don't have anything useful to offer at this stage.
I'm an ideal world things will be better and we can 'be there's for our children, but at least if the worse happens we can try and help them after we've gone.
I genuinely feel you pain friend and I hope you can find something to bring you what you are looking for.
DBD

 

[TAW122]

No I don't have any children, nor do I plan to have any. While I'm not going to ctb anytime soon, life is just unpredictable and just because things are tolerable now, doesn't mean that something else couldn't come up and fuck up my life down the road.

 

[Deivis]

No kids and I'm super proud of it.
I'm too faint-hearted to bring anybody into this hell against their will or permission.

 

[CC123]

No kids
I have always chosen to abort
Thankfully my Mom made sure I did the right thing with my two pregnancies in high school
Since then just a considered and empowering life-style choice

 

[DepressionsAHo]

CPS rarely saves kids. The people hate their jobs and they really don't have much power to save them. It's sad, people getting away with so much horrible things.
[/QUOTE]
My gosh do I feel you on that
CPS are a bunch of useless fucks. They do nothing, help nothing and give nothing. So are the courts surrounding them. Garbage ass "judicial" system we have when it comes to the welfare of a child. Speaking from personal experience too

 

[Jc40]

No kids. See my nephews and niece now and again and also see how my presence just brings them confusion and to be honest don't feel mature enough to handle responsibility of a child. Have brca2 gene so that was final nail so to speak. I wanted to adopt a while ago but mh record would work against me.

 

[Robbyna]

I don't have any kids. I've had two abortions though. Never the right guy or the right time. I'm thankful I didn't as I think my depression may be hereditary.

 

[Lara Francis]

I have a 16 year old son and I worry about the impact my CTB will have on him. I worry about if it will change the trajectory of his life but I just can not stay.

This is a common question and frequent thread.
It goes without saying that your death will have an impact but to what degree is unknown.
I guess his character,personality and sense of independence would all contribute.

There are those who say that you should not have children if suicidal but this does not help as life can and does change
at a moments notice and being a parent does not make us less suicidal even though i think it should.

I fight this battle every day and am constantly pulled between life and death.
I was thinking about this the other day and asking myself,at what age would a child need to be ,to understand.
I thought i should postpone myself but easier said than done.!
I had thought maybe 16 or 17 but there are so many milestones for them which they could not share with you ,each one following on from the last,such as their 18th birthday,graduation,learning to drive,bringing their first boy/girl friend home,not to mention getting married ,grandchildren - the list is endless.
I cant help feel that for me each occassion is overshadowed by sadness in my sons life because of the loss of his father.(not to suicide).my son is 10 , so he is depedant on me but after he has left home and is able to care for himself it would be easier and perhaps less guilt ridden.
I hope this helps.

 

[CC123]

This is a common question and frequent thread.
It goes without saying that your death will have an impact but to what degree is unknown.
I guess his character,personality and sense of independence would all contribute.

There are those who say that you should not have children if suicidal but this does not help as life can and does change
at a moments notice and being a parent does not make us less suicidal even though i think it should.

I fight this battle every day and am constantly pulled between life and death.
I was thinking about this the other day and asking myself,at what age would a child need to be ,to understand.
I thought i should postpone myself but easier said than done.!
I had thought maybe 16 or 17 but there are so many milestones for them which they could not share with you ,each one following on from the last,such as their 18th birthday,graduation,learning to drive,bringing their first boy/girl friend home,not to mention getting married ,grandchildren - the list is endless.
I cant help feel that for me each occassion is overshadowed by sadness in my sons life because of the loss of his father.(not to suicide).my son is 10 , so he is depedant on me but after he has left home and is able to care for himself it would be easier and perhaps less guilt ridden.
I hope this helps.

A thoughtful and loving contribution.
Thank you

 

[Lara Francis]

A thoughtful and loving contribution.
Thank you

Thankyou

 

[agateaqua]

I do , a 7 year old. But he's in another country atm across the Atlantic (I'm in the middle of a custody battle).

 

[HelpPlease]

Yes and it's killing me I'm suffering and it's hurting her!!!!!! I can't take it

 

[Conflicted Cat]

Nope. Never will. And besides, no one could love me enough to. But I won't lie, I sometimes think about what it would be like, how it would affect/change me, and how a child would turn out in my care.

 

[justlol1]

Yes and it's killing me I'm suffering and it's hurting her!!!!!! I can't take it

Im so sorry. If youd like to vent im here

 

[Final Escape]

I had aborted all of mine but I regret it. I was not very wise back then. It haunts me these days. I wish I had had more options so that I wasn't immediately thinking abortion because I was never in a good situation. I didn't see state handouts as attractive I guess. Or single motherhood, or poverty. But yea these days I'm paying the price. I feel like life might have been more fulfilling with a family especially as u get older. If I had not had such a terrible childhood I might have not ever put myself in the position to need an abortion but I was badly misguided and damaged worldview.

 

[justlol1]

Yes and it's killing me I'm suffering and it's hurting her!!!!!! I can't take it

What do you plan to do

 

[Empty Smile]

I have one. She's 27 and goes through the same shit I do. Must of been hereditary....