Venting anyone have anything they need to get off their chest? or just vent?

[262653]

There's a quote that Mark Kermode keeps referring to in his movie reviews - "The great movies give you what you put into them." (I'm paraphrasing here because I can't find the actual quote.)
When you're playing a game, you're the only person who gets to contextualize it. The story ends when it does, but you get to derive whatever you want from it. The beauty of stories lies in what you manage to glean from them. In how they can give you a new perspective you may have never seen before.
There's a lot of great media out there that analyzes the way we consume media, and how it shapes our understanding of the world. BoJack Horseman is a good look at how stories shape our understanding of life, and ICEY and Automata are excellent at laying the construct of a video game bare for it to be deconstructed.

Interesting quote... Not sure I follow it's application here.
I was thinking about mashing a like button and moving on, how I usually deal with things I don't understand... But let's move in opposite direction.
I think I partially get it. We see things the way we are. I find it amusing how we require broad enough perspective to broad it even wider.
I don't see the link between our posts, sorry. I'll take a look on the horse guy.

 

[RM5998]

Interesting quote... Not sure I follow it's application here.
I was thinking about mashing a like button and moving on, how I usually deal with things I don't understand... But let's move in opposite direction.
I think I partially get it. We see things the way we are. I find it amusing how we require broad enough perspective to broad it even wider.
I don't see the link between our posts, sorry. I'll take a look on the horse guy.

You spoke of wondering what the point of what you were doing in video games was, and then generalized to all actions in life. I was trying to encourage you to entertain the fantasy while consuming media, because it's from that shared journey that you can gain catharsis. Unlike the characters in video games, you get to have perspective on their actions, to learn from the events that have transpired. Real life offers very little in the way of purpose or perspective, and that's why we have media in the first place - to let us condense the complexity of reality into ideas that we can understand. Sometimes it helps to watch media that lays it's structure bare, so that you can understand what the point of narrative itself is - that's what the stuff I recommended was about.
In other words, try to let the stories take you by the hand and sweep you away. It can help, if you understand what the story is there for. Reality is filled with the confusion of 'why', and that's why we have narrative - for some time, we can engage in a fantasy where there is an answer to 'why'. However, often that sort of understanding comes from stuff that aggressively destroys the notion of purpose or meaning - where the construct is laid bare for the world to see. That's why you should watch the show and play the games I spoke about. I'm not recommending them just because I like them. Honest. (Okay, I might be slightly biased, but I think that these pieces of media have helped me get to the point where I can get distracted by the fantasy of a work even when I can see the artifice.)

 

[iix.em]

I really hate the fact that memories that were out of my control and are completely valid, haunt me, why do they hurt me, why can't I just be normal and accept that thats how things are, like I know it's normal lol. Even I have a past, I once thought I was in love and had plans, but for some reason my heart aches even knowing I was once not a thought in your head 'till we actually met and someone else occupied your mind. I sometimes wish I had known you my whole life, that it would've just ever been us. I hate that Others share your memory, you tell me it's not the same and the feelings and moments with me are different and are so much more, I got the real and best you. But I still shake at the thought that it wasn't me on your mind at one point, again no ones fault obviously i just wish i could stop feeling this stupid feeling. I KNOW it's nothing and it's life but I just wish so fucking much it was just me and you... so much. i love you, I know you were hurt and I'm happy I get to show you love and we get to finally be happy individually together, but the past haunts me and I don't know why.

 

[andy69]

I would question that diagnosis. She only spoke with you for 2 hours? Fuck that.

Two hours seems like a long time. One of the last doctors I saw spent 10 minutes with me and came up with a diagnosis.

 

[Sh00]

I hate my brain. It manages to twist everything, even good things, into anxiety and depression. On top of having Aspergers.
If it was a car, it would be on the scrap heap. If it was a limb, it would have been amputated. Absolutely fucking useless piece of meat.

 

[not_a_robot]

I really hate the fact that memories that were out of my control and are completely valid, haunt me, why do they hurt me, why can't I just be normal and accept that thats how things are, like I know it's normal lol. Even I have a past, I once thought I was in love and had plans, but for some reason my heart aches even knowing I was once not a thought in your head 'till we actually met and someone else occupied your mind. I sometimes wish I had known you my whole life, that it would've just ever been us. I hate that Others share your memory, you tell me it's not the same and the feelings and moments with me are different and are so much more, I got the real and best you. But I still shake at the thought that it wasn't me on your mind at one point, again no ones fault obviously i just wish i could stop feeling this stupid feeling. I KNOW it's nothing and it's life but I just wish so fucking much it was just me and you... so much. i love you, I know you were hurt and I'm happy I get to show you love and we get to finally be happy individually together, but the past haunts me and I don't know why.

Aww.
I saw your post and I just thought "ew ew, what an awful way for oxytocin to make someone feel, so powerless, so irrational!"
And of course I recognized it immediately, from every time I've ever been in love; that secret, shameful , irrational jealousy of every other person who ever laid eyes on your partner before you met him/her.

I think it's just one of those crazy things oxytocin does to people. I avoid romantic relationships for this reason, I despise seeing myself become irrational and knowing there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Except keep moving on to the next guy, but even that didn't help once I was in love, just made me miss them even more.
Lol god I'm so glad I'm finally too old for all of that, I wouldn't go through it again for all the money in the world.

I really hate the fact that memories that were out of my control and are completely valid, haunt me, why do they hurt me, why can't I just be normal and accept that thats how things are, like I know it's normal lol. Even I have a past, I once thought I was in love and had plans, but for some reason my heart aches even knowing I was once not a thought in your head 'till we actually met and someone else occupied your mind. I sometimes wish I had known you my whole life, that it would've just ever been us. I hate that Others share your memory, you tell me it's not the same and the feelings and moments with me are different and are so much more, I got the real and best you. But I still shake at the thought that it wasn't me on your mind at one point, again no ones fault obviously i just wish i could stop feeling this stupid feeling. I KNOW it's nothing and it's life but I just wish so fucking much it was just me and you... so much. i love you, I know you were hurt and I'm happy I get to show you love and we get to finally be happy individually together, but the past haunts me and I don't know why.

 

[Misanthrope]

Honestly getting fed up with work now being treated as a health outcome. Like that is all the disabled need to get better. Working at Costa pouring coffee is not going to magically cure anyone of slowly drowning to death in their own lung fluid or reduce chronic pain. If anything is going to damage mental health it is having to work with the open sewer of the entitled general public. Or being treated like a disposable cog in a brutal machine that affords few breaks led by an egocentric with too much manager goditus syndrome. If work was a magical cure for anything hospitals wouldn't fucking exist! You'd think doctors assessments would be trusted when it comes to who can and cannot work and why they need financial support. If disability was just about work ethic and state of mind I wouldn't be puking into a bucket!

I also loathe how the jobless are being treated as some sort of pariah and parasite condemned for just not trying hard enough. But globalisation and automation has redrawn the map. It is not the 1950's, a job for life is becoming a rare unicorn. In my country, it is getting increasingly common for people in work to need social security to survive only then to be vilified for it. That is not down to 'chaotic lifestyles' or 'poor life choices' or any other bullshit person blaming phrases. It is down to forces beyond many people's ability to control. A hideous shift in what employment now affords has occurred.

That shift is blatant to me when you see nurses needing to use food banks. Parents missing meals to feed their kids because of unreliable work hours or other exploitative tricks that deny a meaningful wage while costs rise. The average age of leaving home moving into the 25 to 30 range. The difficulties involved even getting on the housing ladder. The erosion of workers rights and legal protections.

Then to top it off the youth these days are accused of being entitled and part of the lazy me me generation. Broken up for hanging about in groups. But all the youth centres are pretty much gone. They have also suffered a steep decline in wages, a trend that is growing not improving. Lost access to a host of things that I got to enjoy and benefit from growing up, much of it free for me. Get to witness accelerated biodiversity loss on an unprecedented scale. Then get vilified for pointing that out or skipping school to protest. It is all so fucking ridiculous! My only take away is I am glad I don't have children. What cesspit are they set to inherit?

Fed up with rhetoric now that turns lies into truth through repetition and denial. Reminds me of a quote from Catch 22. As it epitomises what is happening. I feel we are pretty much on course to being fed sawdust and told how nutritionally complete it is!

"It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character." ~ Joseph Heller - Catch 22.

 

[Life+me=error]

My body dosen't want to live or to kill itself. What the fuck is wrong with me.

I am ready, I got everything set up but I am hesitating... I am seriously too dumb to live and die.

 

[RM5998]

I wish I could control my mood. Would be useful. I don't like having my happiness tied to whether 5 lines of code execute or not.

 

[Rollinggirl]

I feel like if i vent,all hell will break lose

 

[Pilum Muralis]

Why did I get my hopes up that my new pain doctor really wanted to get me off pain meds? I hate taking them. Makes my head fuzzy and can't concentrate. I feel like a mindless husk anymore. All his talk about fixing my spinal cord stimulator so it actually works, but now he wants to add even more pain meds . I'll refuse it. We're still paying for this damn stimulator! This shit nearly bankrupted us. I feel so stupid for agreeing to having it implanted.

 

[Life+me=error]

I feel like if i vent,all hell will break lose

Go ahead, vent! You might feel better afterwards. And if hell breaks lose, disappear and don't look back. JJ

 

[Rollinggirl]

I feel unluckily lucky my whole life. Like whenever a bad thing happended to me,a good thing will negate the bad thing. But now,i guess the pattern has ended at bad. I guess my luck ran out. Lol this does not seem like all hell broke loose. But everyday i feel closer to death. As I am already dead even though I am living. I am so immensely stressed out even whilst typing this. Kill me now. Why must I prepare so many things just to die. . I am preparing charcoal briquettes, matches, fire starter and duct tape

 

[WinterIsComing]

I almost fainted this Sunday.
It lasted 20 mins with the nausea and my stomach hurted.
I was under stress and anxiety for weeks , had trouble with the bathroom so i guess that dehydrated me too.

 

[Lyra]

It's not pissing selfish if I want to go on my terms when I'm damn well ready.
Why don't I get a say? Why is everyone's needs higher than my own?
Is it too much to ask that they take themselves out of the equation for one minute!?
Also my own existence can fuck right off

(too sweary?)

 

[HGL91]

haha nope. they wouldn't be therapists, that's not a rich job!!! lmfao. thats how they are

Lol Parents can say some ridiculous things. My friend's parents in high school shut her down for wanting to be a therapist because it's a "white people industry". Asian people don't have mental problems like white people apparently.

Nothing makes me feel alive anymore. And I mean nothing.
Tried sex last night. Felt nothing, like I was a void the entire time. Tried drugs this morning. I'm high and yet I still feel nothing.
Went to the hospital last week and sweet talked my way out. The only thing I'm good for is being fake. Lol
I need to ctb.

I totally understand that. It's a terrible feeling.

 

[tile66915n]

how much coke would need to OD? 10g of relatively pure coke? Perhaps if I just swallow all at once.