Anyone have a good life but still suicidal?

[Jenna]

Count your blessings. To me it's not about my life as much as it is my illness and brain issues from damage - but if you're healthy and have so many blessings - get grateful. Use some type of marijauna

This is pretty much my story too. My brain is very harmed by psychiatry. I'm not sure if it's the same but I have a great life. The brain injury is too much. I agree if you are healthy count count your blessings.

 

[Pulpit2018]

I never went hungry or thirsty for more than a day.I also always had a roof or some shelter over my head.
So i guess i cannot complain about my life.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Anyone else have what appears to be a good life but still feel the call to ctb? I'm married to a wonderful man, have a great kid, supportive family, etc but I can't help feeling like I was just born to die. Like I should have been tossed off a bridge as an infant. Can anyone relate?

Yeah, I have this feeling to I rather not have been born at time because I don't like being alive at times I question my existence plus the fact that I walk around and talk to myself which doesn't bother mind you no I don't hear voices in my head only if high off of weed, but the judge mental nature of all of us gives me reason to die everyone to me seem childish to me.

I just wonder why was I alive in this world why was I born? Am I really a by product of rape I would ask anyone here who already knows me could you actual delve deep into my data or all information about me to actually find my birth mother for those of you data miners, data hackers, and data trackers? Look deep into the information within the State? Could anyone here who knows how to do that find me what I am looking for?

 

[HowNowBrownCow]

This is how I feel too. Good life, not picture-perfect, but still really good. No sob story whatsoever. No real reason to be suicidal but I have been my entire life. It's not even that I want to die, I just don't want to live. I grew up with anxiety though, and I've always felt that one day something is going to ruin my life. I try to read and learn about every type of terrible thing in the world to learn how to prevent something bad from happening to me. I've always felt that life blindsides you, that is to say that when something bad happens it's always something you never anticipated, so I think that if I learn about every type of bad, life-ruining thing that can happen to you, I can't be blindsided because I'm always anticipating something bad happening. That probably makes no sense, but it's how I feel. The older I get, the more I feel like I have a good life now but one day something terrible is going to happen to me that completely ruins my life, and the only way to avoid that is to die young.

Yes!!! This, exactly! Like my being born was wrong somehow. Like it shouldn't have happened and my existence is a mistake.

It's always felt like my "destiny" was suicide. I never felt called to greatness, to change the world, to get married or have kids. My entire life, I always just felt wrong. When I was old enough to begin conceptualizing death/suicide, it felt like I stumbled on the answer. Thinking of my death just feels so right.

Sometimes my life just feels like an unfortunate blip that wasn't meant to be.

This x10000. I have no ambition, I just want to indulge in my mundane hobbies and eventually die. I have no drive to do anything, really. In a way, I'm just floating through life and passing time until I die. I really regret not dying as a fetus, baby, or during my childhood.

 

[Final Escape]

Anyone else have what appears to be a good life but still feel the call to ctb? I'm married to a wonderful man, have a great kid, supportive family, etc but I can't help feeling like I was just born to die. Like I should have been tossed off a bridge as an infant. Can anyone relate?

You got it made, I'm jealous. I missed out on this stuff in part because of borderline personality disorder but also because I didn't prioritize getting married and having kids. Imagine being a middle age woman, being a prostitute, and having no partner or kids. Life feels pretty lonely and meaningless because for women relationships with people and family bring real fulfillment and a job not as much especially as we age. Men are more interested in things and women more interested in people. Though men do start to be more reliant on a female partner as they age.