WitheringAway
Ima shake the champagne bottle...
- Jun 23, 2020
- 404
Seeing people here in a complete despair and a dire need to ctb ASAP makes me feel guilty about wanting to ctb. I feel like I don't deserve that kind of privilege since I still have a "chance" by most people's standards I'm not a hopeless case. Im thankful for the good things that I have in life that most people around me don't. I don't have a current reason to want to die except the robotic shallow existence that I feel. And the past haunts me; I can't let go. Just want to kill myself so I don't have to think about it. Have nothing of substance/significance going for me that makes me want to stay alive for. How do people in terrible circumstances keep going?. I feel like suicide is rather a rational thing; am I enlightened or delusional? I don't know all I know is I wish I had a friend who knew all this about me. Everyone thinks I got my life together and I'm a happy person... only if they knew the kind of war that I battle in my mind everyday....
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