Anyone finding planning CTB particularly nervewracking?

[mrselfdestruct]

I'm planning to CTB in a week, but as the date gets closer, I find seriously planning it more and more terrifying. I have nothing to lose by CTB, so I'm not sure why this is. Anyone else feeling this way?

 

[FuneralCry]

Ctb can be very difficult after all, for many reasons. All humans are programmed to survive even know we want to die. I am personally trapped in this world as ctb is so difficult for me and I have very limited access to methods. Whenever I try to plan, I start to get scared of failing an attempt. I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point and I wish you the best, I hope that you find what you are looking for.

 

[depressedmaniac]

I had some attempts where I would be somewhat calm as my date approached on others I was freaking out weeks beforehand just thinking about it. On The "last" day I would always be an anxious mess.(ignore my bad english)

 

[hankbank3928]

Yep, the days leading up to my ctb date I have all sorts of racing anxious thoughts about it. I'm expecting to be anxious on the actual date, I'm just going to have to power through it. Although, I keep reminding myself that my method (N) isn't painful, just a quick drink then I'm out.

 

[natali4]

Yep, I've experienced severe anxiety trying to plan ctb. But for me I don't think it's SI. I just have bad anxiety and it's difficult to calm myself on a regular day, let alone on the day I plan to ctb.

 

[Sunset Limited]

Same here. It would be easier if I had a partner.

 

[bbye111]

I'm planning to CTB in a week, but as the date gets closer, I find seriously planning it more and more terrifying. I have nothing to lose by CTB, so I'm not sure why this is. Anyone else feeling this way?

i get you, the actual process you'll have to go through when you ctb is terrifying since there is no absolutely painless death. but not going to ctb and continue living scares me more, it makes my stomach turn.

 

[BBBB]

i get you, the actual process you'll have to go through when you ctb is terrifying since there is no absolutely painless death. but not going to ctb and continue living scares me more, it makes my stomach turn.

Do you really believe that there's no painless death? Everyone who dies, under any circumstances, suffers pain? I once knew people who died in their sleep from home carbon monoxide poisoning, I had hoped they didn't suffer. :-(

 

[Mr.Tristesse]

Do you really believe that there's no painless death? Everyone who dies, under any circumstances, suffers pain? I once knew people who died in their sleep from home carbon monoxide poisoning, I had hoped they didn't suffer. :-(

There are painless ways to die. It sounds like that was the case for the people you mentioned. A true painless death not only has to be physically painless but come without warning. Obviously that rules out suicides because we have to contend with a lot of painful SI. So while there may be physically painless ways to CTB the psychological anguish means it can't be called truly painless in my opinion.

 

[BBBB]

Got it. Thanks for clarifying!

 

[leavingsoon99]

It's gets easier to do as you go about doing it. For me, it is anyway.

 

[dunwitit]

I'm planning to CTB in a week, but as the date gets closer, I find seriously planning it more and more terrifying. I have nothing to lose by CTB, so I'm not sure why this is. Anyone else feeling this way?

I struggle too. It's that damn will to live. I hope you can be gentle with yourself.

 

[TAW122]

I won't deny that there are times where I have some fear, especially knowing that any deviation or mistake can result in failure and it is naturally to be afraid of pain and suffering (a la the 'survival instinct' or 'SI'). I do try to concentrate and focus on the fact that once I achieve death, all this suffering and mess will permanently be over and I can no longer suffer or put up with the shitshow of existence, sentience itself.

 

[itsallpointless]

If your method has been decided and you've controlled all the variables, yes it can be pretty nerve-wracking still but you'll get a sense of consolation in knowing what to expect. If there are things in this world you are afraid of leaving behind though, it can create a sort of ambivalence and hesitation that'll leave you with a few dying regrets. Also, early indoctrination into Christianity has left me with fear that I will end up in a worse place than this. That bothers me as well

 

[wait-bus-stop]

When I explore options that resonate with me, I shake and then I know it's the proper next step.

 

[outrider567]

No, not at all--I feel lucky that I found my Nitrogen method

 

[bbye111]

Do you really believe that there's no painless death? Everyone who dies, under any circumstances, suffers pain? I once knew people who died in their sleep from home carbon monoxide poisoning, I had hoped they didn't suffer. :-(

death occurs from carbon monoxide poisoning via asphyxia, losing your breath feels terribly awful, gasping for air but getting none. We were never really there in the process of their death, they were just found after which gives an impression of "peaceful". If there is someone who witnessed their seemingly peaceful passing, they might look like so but actually struggled. Well, that is my belief... in the third pov things look and feel a whole lot different than experienced in first pov. It is death we're talking about, the shutting down of every organ in the body for one to be unable to move or think permanently.

 

[MrbearX]

The only thing I find nerve wrecking is the high failure rate for any method I have found so far

 

[nadia225]

Only thing that is never wrecking is the possibility that it will unsuccessful and I'll. E left to suffer more to be honest.

 

[SolomonKado]

I'm planning to CTB in a week, but as the date gets closer, I find seriously planning it more and more terrifying. I have nothing to lose by CTB, so I'm not sure why this is. Anyone else feeling this way?

My biggest fear isn't doing the CTB it's failing. I am terrified about failing and still being here. Like the world that makes me feel like I shouldn't be here is tormenting me by making me fail and stay.