i'd say i feel a similar way despite being 20. i haven't really talked to anyone in real life aside from my family in a full decade. i only talk to people online and in english which has made me progressively worse at portuguese (my first language). i've been forgetting words and expressions which makes me sound way more unnatural than i already am. i don't really speak the way anyone from any age group would speak because my languages are all cobbled together and rusty. i don't think it's a "these damn kids and their new slang" issue so much as who am i and my life experiences (or lack thereof) are so incomprehensibly different from anyone else i've ever met that anyone i talk to is pretty much in their own universe. i'm on a lower level than everyone, i guess. i can't relate to the most basic things and feelings and traits that people commonly share with each other. especially since nearly everyone in my age group is just getting started on adulthood and coming to grips with their own identity, and seeing them become these successful, "mature", fully realized people is straight up horrifying to witness. for someone to talk or relate to me, they'd have to basically reduce themselves to my level, as if speaking to a toddler. talking to them makes me feel unbearably ancient and pathetically childish and undeveloped at the same time. and most of all, i feel obsolete. like i missed the big existential fulfillment/self-actualization bus. like no matter what i do now, i'll just spend the rest of my life trying to be a bad copy of these people, taking years to achieve the shitty version of what someone else already achieved several years ago. it highlights how absolutely meaningless my life is and makes suicide look like a total no-brainer.
