anyone else who'd like to be able to live?

[Judy Garland]

No.

 

[HubbaHubba]

Aside from those who are terminal, I think many want to IF their problems can be fixed.

Alas, society doesn't give a shit about mental issues. I live in CA, a very progressive states and most people here treat mental illness like it's nothing.

In my previous companies, my co-workers and managers think I am crazy when I took 1 week PTO for "mental health days". This is for tech startups, an industry known for people needing to be fast paced and have the drive at all times… your mental health be damned.

And here I am today…. Preparing all the meds for my final CTB with SN…

 

[Cathy Ames]

Aside from those who are terminal, I think many want to IF their problems can be fixed.

Yeah, that's the case for me.

I'm really sorry that you were not able to get help for your mental health issues, and I would have imagined that "help" was possible for someone with health insurance and living in a blue state. From what you have written and the amount that we have interacted, I have the impression that we would have been friends (or at least go out for coffee now and then) had we met IRL, and I am very sorry that things have come to this for you. It's truly stunning (for lack of a better word) the way the actions of one's employer and the particulars of a work situation can literally make or break a person. I just want to let you know that I've appreciated your presence here in case you CTB without a good-bye thread or in case I don't seen it until after you're gone.

Also, I think that it is amazing and cool that you took mental health time.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I will call it escape the pain. I won't pretend I wouldn't love to be happy

 

[WhatAMess]

I think to myself, I wish I could live and enjoy life the way my friends and people around me do, then I try and imagine what my "happy life" would look like in the next few years and I actually can't. No matter how hard I think, I can't give myself a good reason to keep going. Even if I end up on most peoples "perfect life" scenario, I don't think I can enjoy stuff anymore. I just can't find meaning in anything and this view on life is probably what got me where I am in the first place.

 

[HubbaHubba]

Yeah, that's the case for me.

I'm really sorry that you were not able to get help for your mental health issues, and I would have imagined that "help" was possible for someone with health insurance and living in a blue state. From what you have written and the amount that we have interacted, I have the impression that we would have been friends (or at least go out for coffee now and then) had we met IRL, and I am very sorry that things have come to this for you. It's truly stunning (for lack of a better word) the way the actions of one's employer and the particulars of a work situation can literally make or break a person. I just want to let you know that I've appreciated your presence here in case you CTB without a good-bye thread or in case I don't seen it until after you're gone.

Also, I think that it is amazing and cool that you took mental health time.

@Cathy Ames thank you! Your kind words always warms my heart.

I am trying hard not to CTB, but so many bad things are happening in my life for years and I am losing the battle. I will certainly post a good-bye thread when I CTB.