Venting Anyone else want to suffer when they die?

[deathplease]

I feel like my death shouldn't be peaceful. I feel like I don't deserve that. That's why I've steered away from N or SN, besides the fact that N is hard to obtain and SN seems a little complicated for me. My methods are hanging or jumping because I feel like I need to accomplish something instead of having an easy way. Does anyone feel like this too?

 

[snowman626]

I already suffered enough in this life, I want a quick and painless death. Why dont you feel you deserve a peaceful death?

 

[wanttodie]

yes i want to suffer when i die want some pain as im dieing

 

[deathplease]

I already suffered enough in this life, I want a quick and painless death. Why dont you feel you deserve a peaceful death?

Not sure, really. I feel as though I didn't deserve an easy life so I don't deserve an easy death either.

 

[kwalah]

I'm indifferent. Just want this shit over and done with.
I don't think dying will ever be nice, though.

 

[Circles]

You already lived a life of pain, why would you make it any more hurtful? Just to experience an adrenaline rush that'll make you scared up to the point of death? You know it's not like you'll remember the experience once you're dead rendering the act pointless? Just seems rather unnecessary imo.

 

[deathplease]

You already lived a life of pain, why would you make it any more hurtful? Just to experience an adrenaline rush that'll make you scared up to the point of death? You know it's not like you'll remember the experience once you're dead rendering the act pointless? Just seems rather unnecessary imo.

I've been through a fair amount of trauma so I suppose people have made me feel like I am worth nothing. There's something about me suffering that makes me feel like I have made up for how shitty of a person I am.

yes i want to suffer when i die want some pain as im dieing

I'm sorry you feel that way, although I'm glad I'm not the only one. Makes me feel less alone.

 

[Circles]

I've been through a fair amount of trauma so I suppose people have made me feel like I am worth nothing. There's something about me suffering that makes me feel like I have made up for how shitty of a person I am.


I'm sorry you feel that way, although I'm glad I'm not the only one. Makes me feel less alone.

Well I mean I can respect that unless you involve innocent people or go out burning yourself alive thinking you're a pheonix like one guy on here. You don't deserve to die like that regardless of what you've done.

 

[Roadkill]

No, I don't want to suffer... I just want to die ASAP and get this over with

 

[GeorgeJL]

I've been on the edge of death and it was the most undignified thing I could experience so after that I got better and I resolved to go out peacefully. Now I have N.

 

[Philip]

If there is some pain with sn that's ok cause it's going to kill me, but I don't want to suffer.

 

[YukiFox]

want to suffer too. That's I want to hang myself rather that look a "Painless" method. I see on my own death the last act of suffering and that reliefs me rather than scares me.

 

[Roberto]

I've been through a fair amount of trauma so I suppose people have made me feel like I am worth nothing. There's something about me suffering that makes me feel like I have made up for how shitty of a person I am.


I'm sorry you feel that way, although I'm glad I'm not the only one. Makes me feel less alone.

I also have a hating myself feeling sometimes so much that I want the worst for me to happen. Sometimes I want a shame type of death. More a emotional hurt than physical.
I sometimes imagine someone shooting at my head. Other throwing myself from a bridge over the road. Other challenging cops. But I'm not likely to do it that way. I want intimacy.
I always tell my psychologist I would like to have a cancer, because it is the only way to get out without the shame of my family.
I don't cut myself but imagining it it reliefs me when I'm anxious.

 

[The Whale]

I feel the same. I suffered in life and I want to suffer in death. It's symbolic. What's ironic is that my fear of dying in a painful way is what keeps me alive.

 

[deathplease]

want to suffer too. That's I want to hang myself rather that look a "Painless" method. I see on my own death the last act of suffering and that reliefs me rather than scares me.

I planned on hanging myself too, but I can't seem to get it right. I plan on trying again soon if I can't find a location to jump.

I also have a hating myself feeling sometimes so much that I want the worst for me to happen. Sometimes I want a shame type of death. More a emotional hurt than physical.
I sometimes imagine someone shooting at my head. Other throwing myself from a bridge over the road. Other challenging cops. But I'm not likely to do it that way. I want intimacy.
I always tell my psychologist I would like to have a cancer, because it is the only way to get out without the shame of my family.
I don't cut myself but imagining it it reliefs me when I'm anxious.

I'm honestly praying that I'll get cancer. I have a non cancerous tumour in my brain called a meningioma that I discovered 4 years ago when I attempted suicide the first time. 90% of the time it's harmless and never grows or becomes cancerous, but I'm hoping it does. I really want to jump to my death but can't find the right location. If I had a gun I'd be gone by now. I deserve to suffer.

I feel the same. I suffered in life and I want to suffer in death. It's symbolic. What's ironic is that my fear of dying in a painful way is what keeps me alive.

I can relate. Knowing that I'll die someday is comforting for me. I'll figure once my life is so fucked & I can't get out, I'll kill myself violently. Then it will finally be all over.

 

[wanttodie]

want to suffer too. That's I want to hang myself rather that look a "Painless" method. I see on my own death the last act of suffering and that reliefs me rather than scares me.

me to want to suffer too.