O
offbalance
All I want is peace
- Dec 16, 2021
- 203
You're not describing isolation. That's solutide. Isolation will destroy your prefrontal cortex and is the same on your heart as smoking 3 packs a day. They live 12 years less on average.I love isolation, I only find any real tangible form of comfort in my own company, I don't have the societal burden to act as others expect me to or believe as they expect me to. Isolation is freeing, freedom from human failures, and selfishness. Ever since freeing myself from the world, becoming a hermit if you will. I have lost all my friends, that I spend years bending myself to fit an ideal that I wasn't, all so that I could meet my social requirements. Though now I'm free from that, I don't have to pretend to like others. Ever since then I have spent most of the last few years of my life, avoiding any kind of interaction keeping my head down, and tying to continue on with things until, I reach my inevitable destination.
Yeah I get that. I kinda resent other people being in the way of the world I'd like to live in. Mostly, like- I'll go on walks at night and there's cars, light pollution, etc. I wish they weren't there so I could just wander in silence and not feel any lingering need to act like a person and talk and etc.I can't really bear to be around others. Not a sense of disgust or anxiety but just the view that I don't really have any need for them or the social game they play, and the expectation that i'll participate in 'being human' just makes me some sort of disruption upon them, leading to me resenting other people. I would probably live as a total shut-in if it wasn't so difficult to.