Volatile
God
- Jun 18, 2018
- 1,286
Seriously.Being alive is totally unnecessary.
I'm putting together some of the pieces of the puzzle of your story that I know, and it both saddens and angers me. I'm so sorry this world has let you down. You should've been protected. You are precious. I hope you find the strength to rid yourself of the parasites in your life.For me it was as if I wasn't aware that I wanted things or suppressed my unconscious desires because I wasn't sure what would make me happy. Also I didn't feel that secure feeling that things would mostly work out for me. It was maybe that I didn't think I deserved things or felt I had little value. Looking back I'm horrified that this is the narrative that was implanted inside myself because nobody should be walking around thinking they are screwed when u are just beginning life. Something is not right when you are starting your life and thinking you won't be able to succeed at things. It means that the adults all throughout your early life basically failed u. Society failed you. Then on top of it other adults will exploit young people that are naive and just starting out using you for their own selfish interests. Or misguide u for their own benefit but not for your longterm benefit.
Yes but I know how common this is these days. There are vested interests in not educating and guiding the young properly, to get you to behave in ways that benefit the establishment and not yourself. I know I'm far from the only kid who was ensnared into the wrong things, having corrupted worldview, and not having mentors who had my best interest so I could make good life decisions early. I got myself into student loan debt, but had I known I was goin to struggle with those jobs I wouldn't have ever went. This is an example how younger gens get screwed, you think u need to go to school but all you're really guaranteed is debt.I'm putting together some of the pieces of the puzzle of your story that I know, and it both saddens and angers me. I'm so sorry this world has let you down. You should've been protected. You are precious. I hope you find the strength to rid yourself of the parasites in your life.
Yes this is what they want u to feel like. I remember being around 22 and just felt so disillusioned and wondering what my actual options are for the longterm. What should I be wanting and what is worth aiming at? If we had an education system that was truly about the children's future, you would at least have some clue about how to conduct your life and prepare u to deal with at least the basics. Understanding money might have been helpful but it's purposely left out of public school education. If you understand the financial system you will be more likely to make responsible decisions accordingly. Less likely to go into debt for example. Debt is an instrument of enslavement.Well I went through years of arrogance and "wanting to be someone." I still kind of struggle with that now. On some level I notice I am a proud person and want success. But life has humbled me so many times that the whole thing sort of feels pointless and vain. Plus I know with what I am up against that I'll just never get there. I am really disillusioned with life. It feels like an exam that I've flunked horribly.
Yeah, that's true. Once I deciding to stop teaching, my college degree was worthless. Couldn't get a job to save my life. Was overqualified for minimum wage jobs, and didn't have the right experience for entry level jobs in a new field.Yes but I know how common this is these days. There are vested interests in not educating and guiding the young properly, to get you to behave in ways that benefit the establishment and not yourself. I know I'm far from the only kid who was ensnared into the wrong things, having corrupted worldview, and not having mentors who had my best interest so I could make good life decisions early. I got myself into student loan debt, but had I known I was goin to struggle with those jobs I wouldn't have ever went. This is an example how younger gens get screwed, you think u need to go to school but all you're really guaranteed is debt.
Yeah, that's true. Once I deciding to stop teaching, my college degree was worthless. Couldn't get a job to save my life. Was overqualified for minimum wage jobs, and didn't have the right experience for entry level jobs in a new field.
Middle school English and ESL (English as a Second Language).May I ask what you taught at school?
Middle school English and ESL (English as a Second Language).
Right?! I pretty much failed everything else.Thats cool! I always loved English classes, because I never had to study much for them :)
English and maths for me were always piece of cake in high school.Right?! I pretty much failed everything else.
TrueI just wish life had a way of asking a person if they wanted to be born. Ofcourse that impossible, but just imagine it. So many people could just choose not to be born, and instead someone who does like life would be born. People wouldnt be out here trying to fucking end it all.
Yea that would be a stressful job sounds like. 11:30 at night?I sometimes feel like I live a parody, lampoon, or sick joke alternative to the life I always wanted: an elite thinktank. Instead, i have a shithole fucked up policy/resesrch job.
I'm getting too old to have anything better now, so either retirement or suicide. One way or another. I want to be done.
Just tonight I started getting calls at 11:30 as people were freaking out about a new regulatory document and spent almost 2hrs on the phone putting out fires. No more. Please. No more. I just want to rest.
That would be much more humane, instead of being thrown into some bad situation where your parents are unprepared, immature, abusive.I just wish life had a way of asking a person if they wanted to be born. Ofcourse that impossible, but just imagine it. So many people could just choose not to be born, and instead someone who does like life would be born. People wouldnt be out here trying to fucking end it all.
And since that is impossible, antinatalism is the most reasonable position to take.I just wish life had a way of asking a person if they wanted to be born. Ofcourse that impossible, but just imagine it. So many people could just choose not to be born, and instead someone who does like life would be born. People wouldnt be out here trying to fucking end it all.
Lucky you! I couldn't get past Advanced Algebra. Granted, I didn't do the homework, slept in class, and turned my tests in blank, but...English and maths for me were always piece of cake in high school.
Yup. 11:30pm. I could have ignored, of course. But if I did, the fire would have just grown.Yea that would be a stressful job sounds like. 11:30 at night?