Discussion Anyone else just off the deep end

[Kinasea]

Sorry if my title is misleading but im really not okay right now. Life feels less and less real by the second and i would probably say yes to almost anything if it meant dying.

Like if someone came up to me right now and just said they wanna lure me to a secluded place, tie me up, eat parts of me, then stab me to death i would probably just say okay and go along with it.

Like im not even really a pushover (thats a lie i kinda am) but nowadays i just sort of wander and do not care about anything that happens. A more likely event is someone dying or me losing a lot of money or something and nothing like that has even phased me.

im surprised im even writing this because normally this would be so embarrassing and cringe to me but even if everyone on here started hating me and doing "horrible" things i wouldnt mind.

I mean i see people talking about "be wary of suicide meetups because some people have alternative motives" and although like yeah you should be careful I personally dont care what they do. I wouldnt mind losing out on a suicide partner if i got murdered.

 

[Csmith8827]

Yeah I know what you mean kinda. Just being completely apathetic towards life and wanting to die. I'm actually really trying to save money and move out right now that way I can start playing guitar and keyboard and trying to make music and stuff. Right now this environment is just trash and it's just not where I want to be. I've kinda fallen off the deep end with looking at porn and drinking lately. Like I still go to work (if you even wanna call it that, my jobs kinda this minimum physical bs, a 90lb female coworker does it ) but when I'm not at work I'm drinking beer (high gravity reserve) or like late at night or at 1 or 2, hell even 3 a.m. I'm like looking at gay-porn on X. It's sad and didn't used to be this way. I kinda collapsed or fell apart. I used to try to go to church and read my Bible but now it's just like why bother? It's sad. I'll be driving or in traffic and just knowing that I have nowhere to go and no one to hangout with is just like fucked up. So yeah I'm totally there with you. I wish I could just die and go to sleep as well... this just seems so meaningless and pointless...

P.S. is your pfp suppose to be Jvne from sewerslvt?

 

[SVEN]

Sounds like you're well into clinical depression, Kinasea. It's really a terrible experience and you have my best wishes. Please be kind to yourself.