Anyone else here with BPD?

[FoxSauce]

Also diagnosed with BPD in october mostly on the milder side

And oh boy theres a lot of stigma around it mostly their abusive and manipulative

Not all cases

But yeah its a lot to handle on a daily basis. I fr thought i was super sensitive and dramatic. Intense mood swings, not knowing who you are and just thinking everyone hates you even tho theres like 0 proof ect, doing reckless shit plus self-harming , dont forget depression. I was crushed when I got diagnosed felt like i was even more crazy but my therapist gave me some sort of hope theres peope that struggle with this áillness and with medication and therapy (DBT) It can help lead towards a healthy life (im not sure if its true but thats what my doctor told me)

Anyways im blathering way to long so i hope you find helpful ways to cope, i hope you find way deal with it that helps you

I fucking despise this disease.

It's like the devil and angel on each shoulder.

Except, the devil violently murdered and cannibalised the angel, then decided to crawl inside my ear and live in my brain, whispering, talking, shouting constantly.

Every little thing gets twisted. I gaslight myself. I can't trust myself. Because I don't really know anymore where I end and the BPD begins. Sometimes I don't feel like there is an 'I' left at all. That devil crawled inside and grew, and grew, and GREW, until I couldn't hold it off and it swallowed me up. Now it controls me

It tells me not to trust my partner, that they don't love me. It tells me that I'm fat and ugly and pathetic and useless and everyone including my partner secretly hates me. And I KNOW it's the disease speaking, not me. But that knowledge starts losing it's helpfulness when the thoughts are so cruel, persistent, inescapable.

The worst part is that I had a pretty good hold on it, or at least I thought, for a while. But multiple factors have exacerbated it lately to the point I don't remember suffering this much.

Any fellow borderlines around here? What helps you stop being a jealous, paranoid misery? Yes, therapy and/or medication is a given but I can't access this right now..