Discussion Anyone else happy they are over "the tipping point"?

[purebliss]

Hai Hai ^^

I have fought with myself for years now if I should CTB or not. I was never sure and always had FOMO.

That terrible feeling lasted until just recently. I broke friendships, isolated myself, lost a lot of things dear to me all because I was practically a dead men walking.
Now that I am completely over the tipping point and know that I want to go I feel so so much more at peace in my head.

The immutable constant sadness that I have been plagued with since I was 13 becomes quieter and quieter the more I am closer to death.

I will probably try the "blood choke" method this weekend and see if it leads to the desired effect. If not I have also ordered SN.
And if everything fails I will try via CO.

How is it for anyone else?
Similar feelings regarding this?

 

[finasteride_end]

I am hovering along that line myself. Every time I thought I had reached the tipping point, I discovered that I had even further to fall. I made a huge mistake the last time which was trying to leave suicide notes for my friends and family. It made it absolutely impossible for me to go ahead with it. I think the next time I hit the tipping point, I will need to have my method prepared and be ready to act suddenly, because my discipline will falter if I delay too long. I can't decide whether living is more horrifying or dying. But I can't hold out like this forever, and someday I won't have a choice. I am afraid of dying in a state of panic or despair. I want my end to be peaceful.

 

[purebliss]

I am hovering along that line myself. Every time I thought I had reached the tipping point, I discovered that I had even further to fall. I made a huge mistake the last time which was trying to leave suicide notes for my friends and family. It made it absolutely impossible for me to go ahead with it. I think the next time I hit the tipping point, I will need to have my method prepared and be ready to act suddenly, because my discipline will falter if I delay too long. I can't decide whether living is more horrifying or dying. But I can't hold out like this forever, and someday I won't have a choice. I am afraid of dying in a state of panic or despair. I want my end to be peaceful.

We all would love a peaceful death :')

That is sadly ironically the hardest to get...
But I completely understand you. I also had to fall a lot to get to the point I am at right now. But then somehow thinking about death is not painful at all anymore.
It is just a nice thought and the fear also dissipated almost entirely. Yes, I am still not sure how my friends will view it, but from experience I can tell you that after half a year you are completely forgotten and just another point in the statistic ^^
So don't worry too much about hurting others

 

[fishperson]

Yeah im free now. Doesnt matter how many curve balls life tries to throw at me. Im so disconnected that it doesnt matter.
It feels like it's barking through a windshield.
My death will be a big fuck you to this putrid existence

 

[monotine]

Hai Hai ^^

I have fought with myself for years now if I should CTB or not. I was never sure and always had FOMO.

That terrible feeling lasted until just recently. I broke friendships, isolated myself, lost a lot of things dear to me all because I was practically a dead men walking.
Now that I am completely over the tipping point and know that I want to go I feel so so much more at peace in my head.

The immutable constant sadness that I have been plagued with since I was 13 becomes quieter and quieter the more I am closer to death.

I will probably try the "blood choke" method this weekend and see if it leads to the desired effect. If not I have also ordered SN.
And if everything fails I will try via CO.

How is it for anyone else?
Similar feelings regarding this?

I've also struggled with CTB or not for a long time now. I've contemplated a lot, and I also have extreme FOMO. I also am a people pleaser, until just recently I ghosted everyone. I deactivated all my social media accounts and stopped replying to people. I also gambled away my money. I plan to CTB soon using SN.

 

[Forveleth]

It really clicked for me after my first attempt. I went into it calmly and my last thoughts before passing out were peaceful. Even after I woke up, I felt anger that I was still alive but literally nothing towards the fact I had just tried to kill myself and had come somewhat close to succeeding. Ironically, it was quite freeing.

 

[purebliss]

I've also struggled with CTB or not for a long time now. I've contemplated a lot, and I also have extreme FOMO. I also am a people pleaser, until just recently I ghosted everyone. I deactivated all my social media accounts and stopped replying to people. I also gambled away my money. I plan to CTB soon using SN.

Hey that is very similar to what we (my CTB Partner and me) have been doing right now. With the exception of having taken a giant credit as well. Fuck the Banks in any way possible.

And yup! I also try to flatten down any communication channels I use and then on the day of it happening nuke even that away shortly before going. ^^
SN or Exit Bag for me at this point

It really clicked for me after my first attempt. I went into it calmly and my last thoughts before passing out were peaceful. Even after I woke up, I felt anger that I was still alive but literally nothing towards the fact I had just tried to kill myself and had come somewhat close to succeeding. Ironically, it was quite freeing.

Yup! I think I would also only be pissed if I for whatever reason survived my attempt.

But I promised someone that if I survived the method I have researched for a month now that I am getting help.
She was the only one I could only ever freely talk to as she is emotionally way more stable than the common person and respects my wishes as well.

I will bring her my beast of a server and my Meta Quest 3 as a gift so that the disgusting loan sharks can not seize it as it is no longer my property.
I want her to have it all for being such a good friend until the very end.

She knows why I bring it over and she so very much would like me to not bring it over because of that.
I had to explain to her that either she gets it or some soulless, disgusting corporate entity.