Venting anyone else get the urge to harm yourself but like you're too scared to actually do it?

[Awesomefoid67]

Like i can accept that if it happened i'd deserve it and i have those kinda thoughts frequently, but im too much of a coward to actually be able to do it. plus if i did it my parents would see and get even more worried than they already are and i really don't want that. I wish i wasnt afraid of anything like both this and death are just so scary and im worried i wont ever get what i deserve unless someone else were to do it to me.

(it also makes me feel alot of like impostor syndrome cus my brain tells me im not really like mentally ill if i dont do it)

 

[etherealspring]

yeah i relate to this a lot, it's a tough spot to be in

 

[Awesomefoid67]

ok so

haha

update

i may have actually done it a little bit teehee. technically not the first time technically but i dont count the first time cus it was for entirely different reasons that i dont feel comfortable explaining but like it had scarred on my hand and i just kinda went at that with a pair of scissors teehee

all cus i overshared to my friends last night and was dumb enough to check discord and see none of them responded! now im super fucking worried im gonna lose them!