Venting Anyone else feel insane?

[akita]

Nothing is even going on in my life but I feel as though I'm in a constant crisis. The only thing that helps is smoking and that's just temporary relief. I have a loving family and boyfriend but I just want to die. It's all I think about, death and dying. I constantly think that every time I eat it will be my last meal. I'm on antidepressants and have tried seeing a therapist and nothing! Does anyone else feel like they are constantly going crazy and the only way to shut your brain up is to kill yourself??

 

[Escaper Boy]

In my case, the experience felt like an ocean wave, there were "up" time and "down" time, they sorted of fluctuated. One day I could be super depressed that I wished I had "instant exit" button right in front me. Other time, I was relatively "stable", still able to do work and function while still keeping my emotion in check.

 

[Retched]

I totally get where your coming from. I had a few months of respite from the constant attack of thoughts but exhaustion from trying to be normal has set in again and it just gets so tiring always having your brain fixate on death. It's enough to feel insane. Pharma and therapy haven't worked for me either. I feel your pain.

 

[Tabbyql]

Yes i actually have to tell my brain to shut up sometimes.

 

[Xaphous]

Doing the same thing and wanting different results. Yeah I must be.

 

[Letmego. Please]

I find it difficult when you know that you have problems with 'reality' & the thoughts associated with that, only to find you really are living in a world that seems to have gone crazy, so is that just my head playing its tricks or for real??

 

[JayZT]

My mind has some pretty weird thoughts and I definitely don't feel normal but insane? I guess I tell myself I am only as a way to build up confidence to CTB.

 

[tomz323]

Oh yes, feel like I'm going to snap at any moment.

 

[EddieAllenPoe]

Hmm. I used to have long periods of what I can only describe as suicidal depression. For some reason I used to spend this time doing stuff like guided Zen meditations. I have no clue why. I just did. I'm a weird person. I think it actually helped. Because I actually know what you're talking about. I still have crazy thoughts. I think I've just learned how to kind of detach from my mind a bit. I just sort of observe it most of the time now. I rarely get sucked into it.

 

[ImsooDone1N]

Yes, I most certainly do have episodes where I feel that way. Often it starts with feeling extremely dissociated and continues building to a serious panic attack; if I don't intervene in some way, I start to depersonalize & feel what I'd call insane.

 

[Empty Smile]

I only feel insane on days that end in Y......

 

[limelight]

I find it difficult when you know that you have problems with 'reality' & the thoughts associated with that, only to find you really are living in a world that seems to have gone crazy, so is that just my head playing its tricks or for real??

You speak my mind. Thanks

 

[Xaphous]

Yes, I most certainly do have episodes where I feel that way. Often it starts with feeling extremely dissociated and continues building to a serious panic attack; if I don't intervene in some way, I start to depersonalize & feel what I'd call insane.

Yes exactly this for me too, instead of intervening though I often become paralysed with the depersonalization and looping negative thoughts it's dreadful.

 

[salvation]

In a different way than you explained


I constantly zone out and feel like i am in a different plane of existance. everything becomes blurry and i feel like vomitting. Also I experience a thing when sleeping where i can control my dream and it's very disturbing. always starts out with me looking at my hands and feet and legs and then walking around. It makes me feel very sick and when i wake up everything is distorted and blurry. I've thrown up a couple of times because of this.

 

[Allpainnogain]

Yes.

 

[Donewitheverything]

I'm constantly gaslighting myself, so I'd say yes. My trust issues are so bad to the point I can't even trust myself. I never think I'm good enough and nothing is going to turn out right when bad things happen. Because of this, I tend to disassociate a lot and take a decent amount of sleeping pills to numb the pain. There's almost never a quiet moment in my head; it's all just telling me that my life will go downhill.

 

[JadedGray]

Yes, after having to live with DP/DR for 4 years now, everything seems surreal and like I'm trapped in a bad acid trip. I never have any lucid moments and feel like I'm a puppet being controlled by someone else. I don't even know what's real anymore.

 

[Ruffian]

Yes, most of the time. I can't keep up with the struggle to be normal anymore. I hate being biplolar so much. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I can be normal and functioning for years and one manic episode will blow it away. I think about signing over my finances like Britney Spears did, but I have just ruined my finances anyway. Sometimes I will be up all night just pushing thoughts of regret and self loathing away.

 

[Rollo]

Nothing is even going on in my life but I feel as though I'm in a constant crisis. The only thing that helps is smoking and that's just temporary relief. I have a loving family and boyfriend but I just want to die. It's all I think about, death and dying. I constantly think that every time I eat it will be my last meal. I'm on antidepressants and have tried seeing a therapist and nothing! Does anyone else feel like they are constantly going crazy and the only way to shut your brain up is to kill yourself??

So you saying you feel as if you're in constant crisis meqans you're worrying about stuff all the time? What exactly your brain is not shutting up about?

 

[Nutcase]

I suffer from anxiety, racing thoughts, and I find it hard to get anything productive done during the day, I usually just waste my time on the internet which frustrates and depresses me, and I go back and forth between thinking my life could improve in the future and hopelessness, so yes.