lizardsoup
you’re coming back a duck or an ape
- Jan 30, 2020
- 16
Here we go again, im currently tapering off my antidepressant and got put on a mood stabilizer (going on a different antidepressant later though, and getting a psychiatrist soon)
Do you guys ever feel genuinely disgusted being alive? The feeling of my skin on my own body, my body heat, my breathing, my heartbeat, i hate all of it. Ive felt so disgusted and alienated from my own body for so long but i could never really describe it. It feels like something in me physically wants to crawl out of this fucking flesh sack, i cant stand this anymore.
Unfortunately (or "fortunately", i guess), I have a boyfriend who is not able to cope with death, and i know mine would especially destroy him. I cant do that to him but i just want to ctb so badly.
Do you guys ever feel genuinely disgusted being alive? The feeling of my skin on my own body, my body heat, my breathing, my heartbeat, i hate all of it. Ive felt so disgusted and alienated from my own body for so long but i could never really describe it. It feels like something in me physically wants to crawl out of this fucking flesh sack, i cant stand this anymore.
Unfortunately (or "fortunately", i guess), I have a boyfriend who is not able to cope with death, and i know mine would especially destroy him. I cant do that to him but i just want to ctb so badly.