Anyone else co-exist with depression?

[Scythe]

I've been depressed for a really long time and I've kind of just accepted it as a part of me now. Something I cannot get rid of without seriously injuring or changing myself. I don't really consider this as a coping mechanism, but more like acceptance. I don't mind it as much as before now. I'm more troubled by other things. Was wondering if anyone else started to co-exist with depression instead of resenting it.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Well, I don't think there's much choice as long as we're still above ground, so to speak. You really just have to live with it - until you just can't anymore. I don't really accept it, nor do I want to. There's no way i can live out the rest of my life with this depression, and I've had it a long time. I'll take it until I can't anymore. Hopefully, I can't stand it long enough to just get the last few things I need to do finished and then I won't have to concern myself with it anymore.

 

[dumpsterfire]

dude i completely understand. like with mine, i kind of personify it in my head as a separate part of myself and not as just a 'trait' (?), anyway one thing i learned from hiking is that if you just keep your mind on putting one foot in front of the other (like literally focusing on pushing yourself to do one little thing at a time [be it showering or even drinking water getting out of bed changing clothes throwing away garbage eating ect]) all those little actions will build up and eventually you'll be at your goal, or at least a few more steps closer ♡
edit-forgot to say that i accept it as a part of myself and that i will not always be pretty on the inside, and it's something i cannot change and thats ok.

 

[HighFlight]

I've co-existed with my depression and anxiety for a very long time (decades). I was considered highly functional, so I was able to hid my problems from everyone, including wife, parents and children. My coping mechanism was to throw all of my attention into a job I enjoyed and avoid social situations. But an incident outside of my control wiped those mechanisms out completely, leaving feeling useless and anti-social on top of everything else. A second incident occurred last summer has made it impossible to focus on tasks, easily forgot stuff, no motivation and just generally feel like I'm constantly in a fog. To make matters worse, I've reached the age where long recovery methods aren't going to allow me to enjoy life. In short, a life wasted.

Until recently, I never resented my depression as I had it well under control. However, these past few years have been hell as my world has slowly crashed down around me. Part of me would like to pursue recovery, but I don't yet see that as living - merely existing. Part things I'm just wasting our limited oxygen supply and I should leave this planet for others who want to be here.

Regardless of my feelings, may you find a technique that works for you - as I do believe it's possible to co-exist with some mental health issues. I wish you the very best and hope you find what you are looking for.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, to the point where I'm not even convinced it is depression. It just feels like an intrinsic part of my character/ personality. Like you- I'm not sure how I would extricate that enormous part of me and still be me.

Same goes for suicidal thoughts. They aren't 'unwanted' or 'troubling' for me. They haven't been for decades. They feel like my regular way of thinking.

 

[FadingSunshine]

Totally feel this way. I try not to beat myself up over things I can't change. It feels like somedays I control my depression and other days it controls me.

 

[jazzcat]

I used to think I could coexist with my depression, I really did try to make it work but lately it seems like it will certainly be what kills me

 

[CTB Dream]

Yea v awfl v long time, me have dprs even bfr injury damage now dprs add injury damage

 

[uselessness]

I've been depressed for a really long time and I've kind of just accepted it as a part of me now. Something I cannot get rid of without seriously injuring or changing myself. I don't really consider this as a coping mechanism, but more like acceptance. I don't mind it as much as before now. I'm more troubled by other things. Was wondering if anyone else started to co-exist with depression instead of resenting it.

Me, irl. I look ok, but I'm not. I ideate, but I never came close to it. It's been like that for a while, and I'll have to live with my fears.

 

[CTB2023]

I have depression, I know that eventually I'll have to overcome it otherwise I'll just continue to deteriorate and stagnate because I'll just keep getting older. You can't co-exist with depression long-tern because you'll deteriorate from not changing anything or progressing in life every day, especially if your in a state where you do nothing everyday because of your depression. Recently understood that to overcome depression you have to continually overcome what feels hard and overcome things that scare you. In-fact I believe this is the way towards living a happy life. The problem is that overcoming depression is hard because of the psychological/physiological aspect... Overcoming hard things feels impossible, so you are stuck in a loop.

From reading online and speaking to my brother who took SSRIs for 5-6 years and overcame his depression I see the utility in SSRIs for my situation... Certain "anti-depression" drugs like SSRIs solve this psychological aspect, they don't make you happy but they limit your range of emotions (both negative and positive ones) and also reduce this feeling where overcoming hard things feels impossible and you feel more normal in this aspect, so you can function/progress in life. They also kind of increase your energy and make you more okay with your situation so you can look forward to things. They are not meant to be taken forever (as you'll start to stagnate with them as well from being okay with your situation) but they give you more ability to change your life because they reduce some different aspects of depression. this is just some things i've been thinking about... im also considering to CTB but im wondering if its neccassery

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Yeah my whole life. It sucks the energy out of everything.