Just a bit of a rant. I was in crisis last september. Just really awful, I was really losing it. I was not coping at all. Constant panick attacks, self harming. Not eating at all and after that binge eating all the time. I basically felt I had no control over my life. It's just not possible to get the things I need to stay healthy. So much pressure that I'm not able to cope with.
Anyway, I got everything ready for ctb because I've been at this point several times before. But still a part of me reached out for help. I contacted my docter, this was very disappointing. No acknowledgment or help offered. I've contacted about... 10 different psychologists since then. Maybe more. I had 3 serious conversations to see if I could start therapy at those particular places. At the end of each they told me they couldn't help me. I talked to more people, just orientation stuff. Everybody seems to suggest a different thing. I'm looking for someone who can address trauma and has some expertise on autism. My suicidality also seems to be a problem, they think I need more intensive treatment than they are able to offer. Or they do not have access to a crisis intervention team, which they deem necessary. I've asked for advice from my insurance multiple times now. They can help me look dor suitable therapists. I currently am having some conversations with a psychologist that I already knew from a couple of years ago. But it's pretty clear that he can't offer the specific things I need. These conversations are often very frustrating and make me feel worse. I'm feeling very disengaged at the moment. I've been looking for 5 months now. Anyone else can't seem to find adequate help?
(If therapy is actually helpful or not is another question, but my point is; I can't find help anywhere) The stupid thing is, people always tell you to reach out. Talk about it, seek help. It's just such a shitshow.
Anyway, I got everything ready for ctb because I've been at this point several times before. But still a part of me reached out for help. I contacted my docter, this was very disappointing. No acknowledgment or help offered. I've contacted about... 10 different psychologists since then. Maybe more. I had 3 serious conversations to see if I could start therapy at those particular places. At the end of each they told me they couldn't help me. I talked to more people, just orientation stuff. Everybody seems to suggest a different thing. I'm looking for someone who can address trauma and has some expertise on autism. My suicidality also seems to be a problem, they think I need more intensive treatment than they are able to offer. Or they do not have access to a crisis intervention team, which they deem necessary. I've asked for advice from my insurance multiple times now. They can help me look dor suitable therapists. I currently am having some conversations with a psychologist that I already knew from a couple of years ago. But it's pretty clear that he can't offer the specific things I need. These conversations are often very frustrating and make me feel worse. I'm feeling very disengaged at the moment. I've been looking for 5 months now. Anyone else can't seem to find adequate help?
(If therapy is actually helpful or not is another question, but my point is; I can't find help anywhere) The stupid thing is, people always tell you to reach out. Talk about it, seek help. It's just such a shitshow.
