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K

KafkaF

Taking a break from the website.
Nov 18, 2023
450
It's probably silly but thinking about CTB one thing that bothers me is the idea of never having sex again. Like that the last time I had sex will truly be my last time, even though I had no idea at the time. And that I can't have it again before ending things.

I know that in some sense that's silly. Because it's not like I'll remember it afterwards.

It really bothers me though. I wish I could.

For context: My girlfriend broke up with me unexpectedly last month.
 
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Iris Blue

Iris Blue

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
Oct 23, 2023
163
I'm sorry about your ex girlfriend also

To answer your question, I do think about that sometimes, just the thought of dying a virgin even if it's still at a somewhat young age feels somewhat unusual. I've considered having one last hurrah a couple times but I'm too self conscious to even try. But I've also considered I might be part asexual too it always is so awkward though when all your friends around you are constantly talking about it in front of you.
 
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sanlcx

sanlcx

Member
Oct 21, 2023
84
"NSFW" lol this whole forum is nsfw, why even have that tag

But yes i guess it kinda sucks that im gonna die a virgin, but that doesn't really bother me tbh
 
L

lebrodude

Arcanist
Jul 18, 2022
439
I think when you have truly crossed to that mental state where you are committed to ctb, all these earthly pleasures don't matter anymore.

At least I hope so, I keep focusing on all the things I'd miss and yeah it's hard.
 
K

KafkaF

Taking a break from the website.
Nov 18, 2023
450
Could always visit an escort earlier in the day!
I've considered that but I don't think I'd feel comfortable with that.

I'm kind of a romantic in that way... I've only ever had sex with women I've been in long-term, loving relationships with. And I'm not sure that I'd feel comfortable having sex with someone I don't love, let alone paying for it.

For the record, not judging anyone who does. Like I said, I'm tempted to do it. But I personally don't think I could be comfortable with it.
 
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Some place nice

Some place nice

This world makes me sick
Oct 18, 2023
471
I would love to have sex before I ctb but, sadly enough imma die a virgin.
 
Y

Yaffle

Life’s a bitch
Nov 9, 2023
399
I've considered that but I don't think I'd feel comfortable with that.

I'm kind of a romantic in that way... I've only ever had sex with women I've been in long-term, loving relationships with. And I'm not sure that I'd feel comfortable having sex with someone I don't love, let alone paying for it.

For the record, not judging anyone who does. Like I said, I'm tempted to do it. But I personally don't think I could be comfortable

You have to do what's right for you.

Personally I see nothing wrong with it so long as with a fully consenting lady and not trafficked. They say it's the oldest profession after all!
 
K

KafkaF

Taking a break from the website.
Nov 18, 2023
450
You have to do what's right for you.

Personally I see nothing wrong with it so long as with a fully consenting lady and not trafficked. They say it's the oldest profession after all!
It's not that I'm saying it's immoral or anything. But I have a certain way that I feel about/look at sex. And that is that, for me, it is a meaningful and emotional thing that I do with someone I'm truly in love with. And that's just not something that's possible with a prostitute. So I would feel like I'm betraying myself in doing it.

I'm not saying other people shouldn't do it. I support it being legal. But I don't think I could ever be comfortable with doing it myself, as tempting as it may be sometimes.
 
raindrops

raindrops

Someday, eventually
Mar 29, 2020
430
Exactly this! You're so right. I'm the same and they call it "Demisexual"
 
ultimategrandfinal

ultimategrandfinal

Hopelessness
Nov 13, 2023
48
I don't think this will bother me... I fear something bigger...
 
P

psp3000

Enlightened
May 20, 2023
1,250
I am a virgin by choice/out of fear

and the only thing I fear that is somewhat related to this are coroners that happen to necrophiles or just necrophiles in general

or having my autopsy photos posted online

maybe it is just an irrational fear because I don't know how common such incidents are
 
IWishToDie

IWishToDie

I check notifications once per week
Dec 31, 2023
480
It's probably silly but thinking about CTB one thing that bothers me is the idea of never having sex again. Like that the last time I had sex will truly be my last time, even though I had no idea at the time. And that I can't have it again before ending things.

I know that in some sense that's silly. Because it's not like I'll remember it afterwards.

It really bothers me though. I wish I could.

For context: My girlfriend broke up with me unexpectedly last month.
Honestly, a part of me wants to die because of my sexuality. I'm not a virgin, I like women, I like sex. I hate sex. I hate sex. I want sex. I need sex. I hate sex. I hate sex. Does this make sense?
 
just_a_guy

just_a_guy

thispersondoesnotexist
Oct 27, 2023
141
Honestly, a part of me wants to die because of my sexuality. I'm not a virgin, I like women, I like sex. I hate sex. I hate sex. I want sex. I need sex. I hate sex. I hate sex. Does this make sense?
It makes complete sense to me. I feel the same about sex. Last night I went through the motions so she wouldn't feel like she's not enough but I wasn't mentally in the moment.
 
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WombRot

WombRot

Member
Jan 4, 2024
8
Kind of? Honestly I don't really have much of a sex drive and have been very avoidant of intimacy with others in general (due to anxiety and trauma I think). Part of me feels like I should be ashamed of commiting without having sex beforehand. I've thought about hiring a prostitute just to check it off the bucket list but I feel like that'd be sort of a waste of time and money.
 
R

Redacted24

Might be Richard Cory... or not
Nov 20, 2023
155
Alternatively, you could have sex with someone you want to scar for their life, then CTB shortly afterward. They'll always wonder if they were that bad...
Don't do this, that would be really cruel.
I agree that physical intimacy is part of a deeper human connection, and that connection should be part of a happier existence. Wish you luck!
 
R

reignerreigns

Member
Apr 4, 2023
32
I Feel as though i shouldnt comment here but...i had been at odds with the same sort of struggle. For what its worth it was checked off my bucket list(citing wombrot) and to put it bluntly...its nothing from another world, the deed itself is whatever(at least for me). Of course if you do it with someone you love, feelings would make it more memorable and special but the cons about is it might be harmful once that person is gone...im curious tho, can you be born asexual or do you become that?
 
Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,733
I'm a virgin, so I'm not sure if I will even enjoy sex. A lot of women don't. Trying to muster up the nerve to go ahead and have sex with this guy I'm dating. I don't find him attractive, so it feels like I might as well be signing up for a medical procedure for all the enthusiasm I feel about having sex with him. It would also be cruel since he seems interested in a long-term relationship. The other option would be to date and put myself out there on the apps. But what if I don't find anyone better and have to go through the same dilemma I'm in now? Selfishness and laziness are at war with my empathy and self-preservation.
 
sserafim

sserafim

they say it’s darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
8,044
I've never had sex before so I wouldn't know. I've never desired to have it anyways, to be honest it sounds kind of gross and disgusting. I would hate to have something inside of me. I don't like physical touch and I'm scared of intimacy, I don't let anyone get close to me. I think I have a dismissive avoidant attachment style, or maybe none at all. I'm probably aroace so I don't think I'd enjoy it anyways.
 
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SexyIncél

SexyIncél

🍭my lollipop brings the feminists to my candyshop
Aug 16, 2022
1,491
I've never had sex before so I wouldn't know. I've never desired to have it anyways, to be honest it sounds kind of gross and disgusting.
What do you think about eating? Watching people in public masturbating their tongues with dead animals. Grind muscles & embryos with their teeth. Even vegans slurp & emit foul gasses... and OMFG the output
 
T

TiredOfAllThis

Arcanist
Feb 5, 2024
422
Not bothered at all - had quite some.
 
sserafim

sserafim

they say it’s darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
8,044
What do you think about eating? Watching people in public masturbating their tongues with dead animals. Grind muscles & embryos with their teeth. Even vegans slurp & emit foul gasses... and OMFG the output
I don't see how that's relevant
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,374
I used to not let it bother me that much but having to masturbate once a day to prevent prostate cancer has left me craving the real experience. Not enough to want to risk the consequences of booking an escort though. I'd rather have the intimacy and physical closeness of a sexual relationship than the actual penetration (though that's a nice bonus). I don't think I'd be able to perform very well in regards to solely PIV sex due to my near micropenis but I've accepted that I'm willing to learn other ways to please a woman.

Also one of my previous love interests who was a former member of SS may have been the one to have awakened me and she was a self-professed nymphomaniac. She never got to make good on her promise to claim my virginity but she did manage to make the idea of it sound tantalizing enough to me when previously I had almost thought I was asexual but now I can't go back to that.
 
mortuarymary

mortuarymary

Enlightened
Jan 17, 2024
1,368
My partner would definitely be suspicious if we had sex. It's been a while
I used to not let it bother me that much but having to masturbate once a day to prevent prostate cancer has left me craving the real experience. Not enough to want to risk the consequences of booking an escort though. I'd rather have the intimacy and physical closeness of a sexual relationship than the actual penetration (though that's a nice bonus). I don't think I'd be able to perform very well in regards to solely PIV sex due to my near micropenis but I've accepted that I'm willing to learn other ways to please a woman.

Also one of my previous love interests who was a former member of SS may have been the one to have awakened me and she was a self-professed nymphomaniac. She never got to make good on her promise to claim my virginity but she did manage to make the idea of it sound tantalizing enough to me when previously I had almost thought I was asexual but now I can't go back to that.
I did not know that about prostate cancer.
 
SexyIncél

SexyIncél

🍭my lollipop brings the feminists to my candyshop
Aug 16, 2022
1,491
I don't see how that's relevant
Just collecting data. (Feel free not to oblige.) Whenever someone perceives sex to be gross, I wonder if it's localized to an act they personally derive no pleasure from — or if they see the grossness of their own pleasures & bodies too
 
mortuarymary

mortuarymary

Enlightened
Jan 17, 2024
1,368
Just collecting data. (Feel free not to oblige.) Whenever someone perceives sex to be gross, I wonder if it's localized to an act they personally derive no pleasure from — or if they see the grossness of their own pleasures & bodies too
Sex isn't gross, I just can't be arsed lol
 
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