Anyone CTB For Being A Crappy Person?

[sadbunny]

I just absolutly hate myself.

I've taken things too far for my own selfish purposes.

Shame and guilt eat at me everyday.

 

[been_there]

yod have to define crappy here

 

[whyidon'tknow]

Yes, I don't think I have it in me to be a good person.

 

[Life+me=error]

I consider myself too stupid for life. I made many mistakes (including a major one) and I am not a fun person to be around. I mean I am not an ass but just boring.

Got no life skills whatsoever. I am just floting on this river called life.. Not far ahead I can see the vertical drop (waterfall) to my death.

 

[sadbunny]

Yes, I don't think I have it in me to be a good person.

Ah that's how I feel

Now I question whether or not I was a good person to begin with

The endless and unanswered questions are driving me insane

 

[Final Escape]

Yes, I think I turned out to be a shitty person. Nothing in this world has been improved because I exist besides I was a sex tool for many men lol! That's been my primary purpose.

 

[sadbunny]

Yeah, yiu wanna die, so you're selfish, Everyone else is just so fukcoig great though arent they? Maybe you want to perpetuate endless bol,;lox abot that then eh? While peopl;s children are stolen fron them, an d people are stalked to destrunction. FUck off.

You don't know what you are talking about

 

[been_there]

So whhy give me a thumbs up?

 

[Jinxed]

I just absolutly hate myself.

I've taken things too far for my own selfish purposes.

Shame and guilt eat at me everyday.

Guilt and ruefulness are probably the only reasons I'm gonna ctb. I hate myself so much...

 

[Breezy]

I think that's one of the reasons that make me want to do it. I really blame myself for my girlfriend CTB. People have told me it Wasn't my fault that she has always dealt with suicidal behavior but I was pretty shitty towards her near the end of it because we were dealing with a lot. Still could've been there for her though.

 

[not_a_robot]

no. I covered this in the "are you a bad person thread." I'm CTB because other people hate me and I hate them right back (though not nearly as much). But I like myself fine. My worst mistake was loving others but that's really biology, hard to avoid. I made a lot of people happy, even if it only pleased them to be mean to me.
The world is full of shitty people but I am not so bad.

 

[IMALB]

I consider myself too stupid for life. I made many mistakes (including a major one) and I am not a fun person to be around. I mean I am not an ass but just boring.

Got no life skills whatsoever. I am just floting on this river called life.. Not far ahead I can see the vertical drop (waterfall) to my death.

That pretty much sums it up for me too ....

 

[NostalgiaOnFire]

I have some really good qualities, but they are the same qualities that have caused me to bury myself in destruction.

One of the biggest things is that I am outrageously empathetic, compassionate, and nonjudgmental. Those sound wonderful, right?

Um, no. My empathy has caused me to become an alcoholic because I can't bear to live in such a cruel world, and despite all my compassion and inability to judge others, I still have done so so so much harm to people around me due to my severe mental illness and impulsive drinking behaviors that have nearly killed other people.

I'm a total waste of fucking space. If I could get my shit together I might be worth a lot and change some people's lives for the better, but I don't think I'll ever get the chance after all the bad shit I've done and I can't trust myself not to keep hurting other people through my self-destruction. It's better that I go now.

 

[LifeIsNotFun]

One of the reasons, yes.

 

[Aardwolf]

Real crappy people don't realize they are crappy. Case in point Donald Trump.

If you think you are crappy you are likely a good person. Doesn't take away from how you feel, I don't doubt you feel like a crappy person and that is damn painful.

 

[andy69]

Real crappy people don't realize they are crappy. Case in point Donald Trump.

If you think you are crappy you are likely a good person. Doesn't take away from how you feel, I don't doubt you feel like a crappy person and that is damn painful.

When my partner broken up with me because he found someone else, he told me I was a bad person, a bitter person. I can't get that out of my head. I feel such shame and guilt for hurting him that i want to die.

 

[Aardwolf]

When my partner broken up with me because he found someone else, he told me I was a bad person, a bitter person. I can't get that out of my head. I feel such shame and guilt for hurting him that i want to die.

Sounds like he is projecting onto you. Like he was the one who found someone else, the guilt should be on him.

 

[NostalgiaOnFire]

When my partner broken up with me because he found someone else, he told me I was a bad person, a bitter person. I can't get that out of my head. I feel such shame and guilt for hurting him that i want to die.

Please don't listen to a shitty ex who tried to shame you until the bitter end.

And most importantly, don't let an ex be the reason you CTB. Please.

 

[been_there]

Yeah, Exes are cunts. goes with th e teritory

 

[RM5998]

Yeah, it's near the top of the list of reasons justifying why I should CTB. It matters less in the list of reasons behind why I want to CTB.

 

[Donewith_]

yeah, I feel like I'm a person like that. I was never ok with myself. may be its unnecessary to say all those..its just that, I lost.

 

[tuto170]

I feel that I am a crappy person, due to my illness i stay in bed whole day and can not have a proper conversation. I have massive anhedonia

 

[Weems]

Yeah. I got here through cowardice and sloth. And oh, how I can let stupid opinions fly when I'm excited. Horror before myself has been my dominant emotion for half my thirty years. I don't know how you can turn that around. All my memories are poisoned.

 

[JoeFailure]

I took life and everything for granted. I think I knew at least a decade ago that I had something wrong with me and never got it checked out. It is ADHD and maladaptive daydreaming and it explains a lot about how I can't focus and could never keep a decent job. I should have pursued something meaningful in life from the very beginning and worked hard at it.

I didn't call my parents enough. They're great parents and I just didn't tell them I loved them enough throughout all these years. I truly didn't understand the sacrifices they made and what it took to make it in this world and be successful and provide for your kids and family.

I should've seen a psychologist early about what happened to me sexually when I was a kid. Fucked me up for life in terms of relationships. It didn't have to.

I wasted so much time in life. Now I am because I don't have much money and I'm paralyzed by regret and depression because I'm going to have to CTB. I look back on my 35 year old life in pure horror. 2 years I would give that I worked in special education that truly meant something to the world.

I would never hurt anyone or rape or kill or treat a woman badly or anyone, but that's not enough. You have to achieve, you have to make money and make a difference.

I know the person I am today would have done it all differently, and would even now if I could see any pathway out of this. I don't know what that makes me. I don't know if in the end, you're still a shitty person if the past you is who made all of those mistakes. I don't know if there's judgement after this, that you can let that all go even if you're truly repentant and "get it" now. I wish I could fix it all.

 

[21Neberg]

Me being a worthless person is not why I want to CTB, but it certainly is one of the reasons why I should.

 

[ManWithNoName]

Everyone grows - and many good people (but not all) were horrible earlier on in life but has since realized this and changed how they are later on in life. If I knew then all that I know now I would conduct myself vastly different as a Human being.

 

[JoeFailure]

Yeah. I got here through cowardice and sloth. And oh, how I can let stupid opinions fly when I'm excited. Horror before myself has been my dominant emotion for half my thirty years. I don't know how you can turn that around. All my memories are poisoned.

Everyone grows - and many good people (but not all) were horrible earlier on in life but has since realized this and changed how they are later on in life. If I knew then all that I know now I would conduct myself vastly different as a Human being.

The problem is if your past self has created a hole too big for present you to climb out of. That's me.

Yeah. I got here through cowardice and sloth. And oh, how I can let stupid opinions fly when I'm excited. Horror before myself has been my dominant emotion for half my thirty years. I don't know how you can turn that around. All my memories are poisoned.

Our situations seem similar in some ways. Although I think I'm in more of a mental breakdown right now than you. That's why I think you still have a shot.

 

[Sailfisher]

More for reckless career and life decisions in my case...

 

[Kaput]

The problem is if your past self has created a hole too big for present you to climb out of. That's me.

This is so relatable. I wish I could turn back time. Really am my own worst enemy.

 

[Final Escape]

This is so relatable. I wish I could turn back time. Really am my own worst enemy.

Yes this is why I have to ctb in a nutshell. The hole is too big and the despair is too much to have to live with for another who knows how long.