I've been on Xanax for so long. Sure I'm anxious person but looking back what I needed was support and confidence from my family. I've been through withdrawal seizures, my short term memory is nonexistent and my hands shake first thing in the morning. It's embarrassing and very hard to maintain a job when you're in withdrawal because you took too many that month. I'm not a person anymore, and I don't even remember the person I used to be. Even if I quit (I'm so used to cold turkey xanax withdrawal it's actually manageable at this point), I find it hard to speak, think, go outside, respond to messages. There's no way a responsible psychiatrist doesn't know this but we don't talk about it. I'll literally be on it until the day I die, and if I'm cut off then I would just walk into traffic, I can't live like that.