Venting Any help on to get over someone?

[anthomaniac]

I swear i have tried everything i fucking could and i can't forget him, it's been a year now, and i'm afraid i still love him the same as that first day i saw him. And it's been ruining my fucking life, more than of what it already is...

 

[NumbItAll]

Ideally you could fill your life with other fulfilling things to lessen the impact of that, however that is easier said than done because everything sucks. I wish I knew how too! I am sorry you have to deal with that.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I tend to think it's one of those things you just have to let pass through you. You either get over it quickly or you don't. It's a bit like insomnia. You can stress about it for hours and do yoga, drink herbal teas, meditate, or you can just say "fuck it, I'll fall asleep when I'm ready." There's nothing unnatural about heartbreak or grief. It doesn't make coping any easier of course, but a slow and resigned acceptance is probably the healthiest way to handle it. I'm sorry for the situation you're in.

 

[Sharethepain]

188 Days here, I have tried literally everything and nothing works for me either. It's probably because we have been together for so long and even lived together here, I see her everywhere and in everything. Either keep yourself so busy that you don't have a moment's rest or find a greater pain to inflict upon yourself if there is anything capable of that. Sorry you have to go through this as well, we really need nothing but their embrace to heal, but sometimes, the simplest things are the ones that we can never have.

 

[Winona]

Man, you're going through hell. I totally empathize with you. I wish there was a cure for it :( But, sadly, only time can heal the heart. Try to focus on somethhing else, even on planning CTB, if it helps not to think of Him. And what you should definitely do to help yourself is to delete his contacts, pictures, messages, etc. and to avoid everything that reminds of Him. Hold on, mate!

 

[LifeSick]

I tend to think it's one of those things you just have to let pass through you. You either get over it quickly or you don't. It's a bit like insomnia. You can stress about it for hours and do yoga, drink herbal teas, meditate, or you can just say "fuck it, I'll fall asleep when I'm ready." There's nothing unnatural about heartbreak or grief. It doesn't make coping any easier of course, but a slow and resigned acceptance is probably the healthiest way to handle it. I'm sorry for the situation you're in.

This is really good advice IMO. Sometimes it takes a while to get over it, but you will eventually get over it. It's hard, but just try to focus on other things. The more you try to not think about something the greater the chance of you not forgetting it.

 

[worldexploder]

I had to learn to disassociate from humanity for the most part. I became detached. It's very hard to do because it goes against human nature. I had to start thinking of relationships in a more logical way instead of from an emotional place. Love = addiction. When you lose them you go though withdraws. I had to lose apart of myself.

 

[anthomaniac]

188 Days here, I have tried literally everything and nothing works for me either. It's probably because we have been together for so long and even lived together here, I see her everywhere and in everything. Either keep yourself so busy that you don't have a moment's rest or find a greater pain to inflict upon yourself if there is anything capable of that. Sorry you have to go through this as well, we really need nothing but their embrace to heal, but sometimes, the simplest things are the ones that we can never have.

Man that shit it home ''we really need nothing but their embrace to heal'', what i would give for one last hug, you got no ideas

 

[anthomaniac]

I tend to think it's one of those things you just have to let pass through you. You either get over it quickly or you don't. It's a bit like insomnia. You can stress about it for hours and do yoga, drink herbal teas, meditate, or you can just say "fuck it, I'll fall asleep when I'm ready." There's nothing unnatural about heartbreak or grief. It doesn't make coping any easier of course, but a slow and resigned acceptance is probably the healthiest way to handle it. I'm sorry for the situation you're in.

Probably that's what has helped the most, resignation. I still think of him, even after erasing most of our story, i can't delete my mind. But resignation has made me lessen the hurt quite a lot, more each month goes by. Maybe i'll never forget it, but rather just live with it while i can

 

[Pineapplecrown]

I struggle on. Logically i know its over, and with time has numbed the hurt Alot. But It still hurts me and I havnt been able to really ever get over it. I try not to let the thoughts over come me and i push the feelings down. Ive done my own thing for nearly two years now.. its not been easy. The brokenness, loss, grief, anger, guilt,sadness , betrayal , happiness , love and desire has only faded a little. My past with him plagues my dreams. It's why i dont really find sleeping a priority sometimes.. that and my manic moods. I hate hoping into bed every night. It is not in any shape of form the bed we had. I just know im sleeping alone again. I wish he was wrapping his arms around me. I have this chronic dreams where hes with me. I hate it. I have cptsd and it effects every part of my life. I just hate that he made up so much of my life and who i was.

 

[Red star]

I struggle on. Logically i know its over, and with time has numbed the hurt Alot. But It still hurts me and I havnt been able to really ever get over it. I try not to let the thoughts over come me and i push the feelings down. Ive done my own thing for nearly two years now.. its not been easy. The brokenness, loss, grief, anger, guilt,sadness , betrayal , happiness , love and desire has only faded a little. My past with him plagues my dreams. It's why i dont really find sleeping a priority sometimes.. that and my manic moods. I hate hoping into bed every night. It is not in any shape of form the bed we had. I just know im sleeping alone again. I wish he was wrapping his arms around me. I have this chronic dreams where hes with me. I hate it. I have cptsd and it effects every part of my life. I just hate that he made up so much of my life and who i was.

I sees you <3 hugs and sorry for your pain

 

[Fernweh]

If someone has truly touched your heart, one year isn't that long of a time im afraid. Time does heal, but sometimes the love you have for that person never really goes away. The only thing that has helped me is to try to stay in the love, and just try to love them without need or want. Easier said than done, but its really helped me deal with the pain and sense of loss. And ive tried pretty much everything lol.

Hope you somehow find some relief from your heartache <3

 

[azucaramargo]

I had to learn to disassociate from humanity for the most part. I became detached. It's very hard to do because it goes against human nature. I had to start thinking of relationships in a more logical way instead of from an emotional place. Love = addiction. When you lose them you go though withdraws. I had to lose apart of myself.

Whoa. How did you do this?

 

[worldexploder]

Whoa. How did you do this?

Well it's hard to do. I ethier had to disassociate or lose my mind. I was backed into a corner and had no other option. I am still miserable and it goes against my nature as well as human nature in general. I have to be this way. I don't got any other choice.

 

[azucaramargo]

Well it's hard to do. I ethier had to disassociate or lose my mind. I was backed into a corner and had no other option. I am still miserable and it goes against my nature as well as human nature in general. I have to be this way. I don't got any other choice.

I really admire that discipline. I'm going to try it. That's impressive that you chose the more difficult path (instead of losing your mind, I mean). Thank you for sharing this method of recovery.

 

[azucaramargo]

I struggle on. Logically i know its over, and with time has numbed the hurt Alot. But It still hurts me and I havnt been able to really ever get over it. I try not to let the thoughts over come me and i push the feelings down. Ive done my own thing for nearly two years now.. its not been easy. The brokenness, loss, grief, anger, guilt,sadness , betrayal , happiness , love and desire has only faded a little. My past with him plagues my dreams. It's why i dont really find sleeping a priority sometimes.. that and my manic moods. I hate hoping into bed every night. It is not in any shape of form the bed we had. I just know im sleeping alone again. I wish he was wrapping his arms around me. I have this chronic dreams where hes with me. I hate it. I have cptsd and it effects every part of my life. I just hate that he made up so much of my life and who i was.

So well-put! I empathize and thank you for sharing your battles. It's really helpful to read the words of someone who's so intelligent, who also feels this gut-wrenching pain.

 

[anthomaniac]

So well-put! I empathize and thank you for sharing your battles. It's really helpful to read the words of someone who's so intelligent, who also feels this gut-wrenching pain.

i think it's always somewhat nice to see you're not the only one dealing with it, makes you feel a bit less like an useless idiot who can't get over an ex

 

[Herbalpompano75]

Honestly when you truly love some and you care about them you will never truly get over them the pain will slowly go away and it'll get to point that you can deal with it and you just have to keep living for some it takes a month for others years just do what you can to take him off your mind for me honestly getting on here helps me to stop thinking about her and just typing my thoughts out not caring if someone reads it or not music doesn't help me much every song just makes me think of her I tried going to the gym it worked at first but I just started falling apart you just have to find something for you and it may not always be something you have a passion for I personally love cars I was building a 76 Chevy truck and when she cheated I fell apart and honestly I haven't touched it sense and won't for months I love games but I just don't have the motivation and the energy to move my fingers fast enough to play just keep looking until you find something that helps even if it's just a little

 

[Aesthler]

I'm currently getting over someone and I'm stumbling all over them all the time. Everyones got their ways, I cried for days knowing my ex had already moved on and it's only been like 3 months since we separated. I felt the whole range of emotional spectrum, and decided the best way for me to personally move forward is to also put myself out there. There's no sense in my mind to hold onto something that's not there to hold onto. Some would say I'm not ready, and I agree I'm not ready I don't think you're ever ready. I'm not gonna make my CTB about her, what good would it do anyway? She'd maybe get sad, who knows and then forget all about me years down the road. I'll CTB because it was my choice not because someone drove me to do it. I still feel stabs of pain and get really really down but I try and move past those emotions at 100 mph and keeping myself distracted helps.

 

[Jodes]

In college my gf dumped me and a day later was shagging the guy in the room next to me. So, first I moved. Then made new friends. Went out partying, drunk as a skunk.. And of course, prozac. Failed uni 2 months later. Then had my first attempt. I discuss this it because now its just a story about crazy times.