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TheStartOfEnding

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May 1, 2018
56
Once you are born in a specific gender, in most cases you are attached to that gender, its dynamics, needs etc etc.

But i still wish i was born a girl, it's not that i feel effeminate or i'm inconfortable with being a male, i just envy girls the ease they have in getting validation/having sex/finding partners. Any average girl can put a little bit of make up/wear something sexy and have a shittons of guys drooling over her, validating her, and she will never know sexual frustration if she doesn't have extremely high standards and want just to have sex.

I know that girls have their specific problems and challenges, i'm not saying they objectively have it better, but they have what for me is the most important, i'd kill to have validation/a sexual life/girls hitting on me by just putting some product in my face and wearing a certain thing. I prefer to be depressed and have all of this than depressed + lonely + undesired + sexual frustration + no validation + attracting nobody.
 
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OfficerK

Experienced
May 6, 2018
255
Once you are born in a specific gender, in most cases you are attached to that gender, its dynamics, needs etc etc.

But i still wish i was born a girl, it's not that i feel effeminate or i'm inconfortable with being a male, i just envy girls the easy they have in getting validation/having sex/finding partners. Any average girl can put a little bit of make up/wear something sexy and have a shittons of guys drooling over her, validating her, and she will never know sexual frustration if she doesn't have extremely high standards and want just to have sex.

I know that girls have their specific problems and challenges, i'm not saying they objectively have it better, but they have what for me is the most important, i'd kill to have validation/a sexual life/girls hitting on me by just putting some product in my face and wearing a certain thing. I prefer to be depressed and have all of this than depressed + lonely + undesired + sexual frustration + no validation + attracting nobody.

I think you're overestimating how much of a difference makeup does. For example, an unattractive person won't get the appearance of a good bone structure by using makeup, and they'll also have hard time hiding all facial asymmetry without being an expert at applying makeup. For the most part, makeup is good at hiding minor blemishes. It definitely makes a difference, but it will still only make an ugly person less ugly, and an attractive person more attractive. Men do not find all women equally attractive, and a man of a higher tier of attractiveness will generally pursue someone on their own level.

Sex or a bad relationship doesn't equal validation. Being aware that your partner is equally as unattractive to you and that your relationship is based off him/her settling for what they could get, is not a good feeling.

While I agree that attractiveness plays a large part in whether you're able to achieves happiness, I do not think that women have it as easy as you think they do.
 
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Xmac000

Xmac000

Somewhere...
May 23, 2018
102
Yes. If i were born a woman my life in general would have been a lot easier. One of the reasons being easy sex as you said. I understand easy sex is not everything but i can imagine how relieving it must be to be able to get some whenever you want. Woman have that to help them cope, we have nothing really. I think sexual frustration may even be linked to higher rates of suicide in men too.
 
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transgenderfailure

Subhuman Creature
Apr 30, 2018
118
When I decided to start my transition it was never cause I thought a girls life is easier. Both genders gave their hardships, and both suck equally. Why I transitioned is be because I felt gender dysphoria within my mind. My body felt like it was a strangers. And I just couldn't relate to the masculine characteristics whatsoever.
 
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TheStartOfEnding

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May 1, 2018
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I think you're overestimating how much of a difference makeup does. For example, an unattractive person won't get the appearance of a good bone structure by using makeup, and they'll also have hard time hiding all facial asymmetry without being an expert at applying makeup. For the most part, makeup is good at hiding minor blemishes. It definitely makes a difference, but it will still only make an ugly person less ugly, and an attractive person more attractive. Men do not find all women equally attractive, and a man of a higher tier of attractiveness will generally pursue someone on their own level.

Sex or a bad relationship doesn't equal validation. Being aware that your partner is equally as unattractive to you and that your relationship is based off him/her settling for what they could get, is not a good feeling.

While I agree that attractiveness plays a large part in whether you're able to achieves happiness, I do not think that women have it as easy as you think they do.

I'm not underestimating anything since i'm not judging in the basis of a theory, but of daily observation.

I have very average female friends, they still get a shitton of validation/matches with almost everyone in Tinder, easy sex life.

It's not just the make up that makes a difference, you are taking my words of contexte. it's the makeup + the low standard of guys. Like i said, an average girl does get a ton of attention (i observe that daily, not based on a theory) by putting make up/wearing sexy clothes, while for a guy you have to be on the top 10% per cent of guy to have girls gazing at you just by entering into a place, or getting easy validation on social media.

Whether make up makes a big difference in a theoritical/abstract sense doesn't matter, what matters is how it works in the concrete cases : and it works wonder, make up does make a shitton of difference on the attraction level for guys, it gives girls a loot of room to makes themselves more attractive.

I think it's you who is underestimating how easy it is to attract guys (for average females)

"Men do not find all women equally attractive"

Also, i've never said that, but the % of women men will find at least somewhat attractive is waaaay higher than the % of guys women find attractive.
 
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TheStartOfEnding

Member
May 1, 2018
56
When I decided to start my transition it was never cause I thought a girls life is easier. Both genders gave their hardships, and both suck equally. Why I transitioned is be because I felt gender dysphoria within my mind. My body felt like it was a strangers. And I just couldn't relate to the masculine characteristics whatsoever.

Ok but this is irrelevant to this topic.

If a girl post a topic about the specific challenges girls have, i don't come in posting "Well, both genders have their hardship" this post is about a specific kind of hardship and i'm allowed to talk about it.

I disagree about that by the way, i think average girls have an easier life than average guys. I think the most attractive guys have a better life than the most attractive girls though.
 
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I want to end it

Arcanist
Apr 29, 2018
475
I totally agree with you. Being wanted and desired by the opposite sex is something that women will always experience - even if it's just sexually desired and not for a committed relationship. Even really fat ugly women are desired by men (look at bbw porn for instance). The average man never experiences this. Online dating is a total waste of time for any man under 6 foot and not at least an 8/10 in looks. Real life dating is not much better.

I barely have a sex drive these days so I don't care. It's something I did care about in the past though.
 
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TheStartOfEnding

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May 1, 2018
56
I totally agree with you. Being wanted and desired by the opposite sex is something that women will always experience - even if it's just sexually desired and not for a committed relationship. Even really fat ugly women are desired by men (look at bbw porn for instance). The average man never experiences this. Online dating is a total waste of time for any man under 6 foot and not at least an 8/10 in looks. Real life dating is not much better.

I barely have a sex drive these days so I don't care. It's something I did care about in the past though.

I totally agree on all this, i'd just add that the sex part for me is not the most important, it's mostly the validation/feeling you attract etc. If it were just sex i'd pay escorts, they are cheap in my country.
 
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uglyzuko

Member
May 7, 2018
37
I think a lot of you are overestimating the privileges" women have. I think it's because a lot of you guys erase ugly women and don't even notice them. Ugly women have it wayyyyy worse than ugly men since society places such a burdensome weight on appearance. It's easy for a girl to be attracted to an unconvential looking guy, but it is SELDOM the opposite — if the girl is unapppealing in the face, she "makes up for it" in the body. If she had neither, she's fucked.

Not trying to make this a gender war, but your life would probably be way worse if you were an ugly woman.
 
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TheStartOfEnding

Member
May 1, 2018
56
  • I think a lot of you are overestimating the privileges" women have. I think it's because a lot of you guys erase ugly women and don't even notice them. Ugly women have it wayyyyy worse than ugly men since society places such a burdensome weight on appearance. It's easy for a girl to be attracted to an unconvential looking guy, but it is SELDOM the opposite — if the girl is unapppealing in the face, she "makes up for it" in the body. If she had neither, she's fucked.

    Not trying to make this a gender war, but your life would probably be way worse if you were an ugly woman.

  • I disagree about every letter in your text to be honest.
I rarely disagreed about someone as much, to me you honestly sound like you live in some parallel universe.

First of all, it's meaningless to answer "you disregard ugly girls" when one of the points i made is that men find less girls ugly than women does. There was a study by okcupid for instance that found that girls there rated 80% of men under average (something that makes no sense) while men rates half ot the girl under average.

Second, instead of talking endlessly, you can do the experiment yourself, chose the pic of an ugly girl vs ugly guy, and go on Tinder, then you'll see who's understimating what.

I did the experience, observed the experience, i know a lot of ugly girls and while they can't have a relationship with an attractive guys, they easily can have sex with average or even attractive guys.

I'm not even an ugly man, i'm very average, and my life in the AREAS i'm talking aboug would 100% be better if i was a female (i didn't say my life would be better, just in the areas i spoke about )
 
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Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
574
Yeah but more often than not girls don't just want sex. Often guys are fine just getting sex. So the ugly guy can easier get what he wants, since some women will look past looks, but the ugly girl most likely isn't going to find a decent attractive guy to love her.
 
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TheStartOfEnding

Member
May 1, 2018
56
But that's a whooole other debate.

That's like saying "rich people don't have it better than non-rich people because rich people don't just want money, they want more things

I said many times for that reason that i'd rather be depressed (so not having exactly whaf i want) and have a sexlife/some validation than depressed but also with no sexlife/no validation/not being desired by the opposite gender.

And women don't look past looks, except when the guy is really rich, but even in that case he doesn't get the validation/feeling of being desired/validated, it's not an authentic desire but just like going go an escort. And rich guys are the exceptions, while for women being average is the norm, and being average is enough to get what the exceptional guys (hot/rich) get
 
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Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
574
But that's a whooole other debate.

That's like saying "rich people don't have it better than non-rich people because rich people don't just want money, they want more things

I said many times for that reason that i'd rather be depressed (so not having exactly whaf i want) and have a sexlife/some validation than depressed but also with no sexlife/no validation/not being desired by the opposite gender.

And women don't look past looks, except when the guy is really rich, but even in that case he doesn't get the validation/feeling of being desired/validated, it's not an authentic desire but just like going go an escort. And rich guys are the exceptions, while for women being average is the norm, and being average is enough to get what the exceptional guys (hot/rich) get

And women get validated or authentic desire? Men are after looks more than anything else, that's no better than men getting ass just because they are rich. At least men can make more money. Cant fix ugly lol The truth is everyone objectifies everyone for something they value.
 
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Makhlebite

Member
Apr 8, 2018
32
The grass is always greener on the other side...
 
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TheStartOfEnding

Member
May 1, 2018
56
And women get validated or authentic desire? Men are after looks more than anything else, that's no better than men getting ass just because they are rich. At least men can make more money. Cant fix ugly lol The truth is everyone objectifies everyone for something they value.

Well unlike money, looks are a part of you, unless you consider yourself a soul floating and the body isn't yours. unlike money, looks do make girls wet (well except some extremely materialist girls that may be aroused by money), that's what i mean by authentic desire. Not something like the ethereal soul attracting others for what you are deep inside. In the case of looks, the personal is aroused by you/want to spend time with you/is attracted to you, in the case of money she may prefer you dead if she can inherit the money .... there is a huge difference.

Attracting someone for your looks = authentic desire. I'd love to attract girls by my looks.

I never said that men don't objectify women, just that they are more generous in their objectification, and consider more women attractive than women consider men attractive.

You are replying to me as if i ever said men like women for their personality and beauty of their soul, i've never said that.
 
I

I want to end it

Arcanist
Apr 29, 2018
475
I totally agree on all this, i'd just add that the sex part for me is not the most important, it's mostly the validation/feeling you attract etc. If it were just sex i'd pay escorts, they are cheap in my country.
Sex with escorts is no different to masturbation. I've had sex with 2 escorts before (I wanted to see what it was like) and you don't feel any desire from the woman. They only want your money.

I was always amazed that even ugly girls never showed sexual desire for me. I was never picky in terms of a girl's looks, I just wanted someone to show me validation and feelings that they were attracted to me, no matter how fat or ugly they were (within reason). But even the ugly girls only showed interest in the top 5-10% of guys.

For a guy, you have to be way above average in terms of looks, just to attract below average girls.
 
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DF90

DF90

Experienced
Mar 18, 2018
275
I am locking this thread. It's becoming a circle jerk of "women have it easier than men." You want to have those types of discussions there are other sites.

This is a safe place for everybody and nobody should have to read that their lives are easier or they have less problems because of what they have, what gender they are, how old they are, where they are, etc.
 
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