sivvie
Wanderer
- Aug 23, 2021
- 84
I've posted quite a few threads on here, I'm sorry. I just can't find anywhere else to talk about things like this. If you've seen my other threads, you know I've already received and tested my SN.
I think my biggest fear is failing again at ending my misery, or being found too early and being put through MORE misery. I just can't stand being alive anymore. l want it all to end. But all it would take is me making too much noise as I'm dying and/or my family getting a hunch and calling emergency services.
I have nowhere else to go, I can't afford going to a hotel or something, and I'm monitored and sheltered by my family 24/7 anyway. They'd notice almost immediately if I wasn't at home. My only choices are the shared bathroom I have with my 3 siblings, the balcony, or our storage room that has glass windows* opening into the kitchen. I could try to go downstairs and do it in the open but there are high chances I'd be found.
I'm so terrified. I just want it to work, I don't want to be saved or found. I don't want to wait because we JUST moved into this house and my future attempts are going to be in the same environment. I have no other choice, but it has to work. Please, I just want this all to end. I don't want to wake up again.
I think my biggest fear is failing again at ending my misery, or being found too early and being put through MORE misery. I just can't stand being alive anymore. l want it all to end. But all it would take is me making too much noise as I'm dying and/or my family getting a hunch and calling emergency services.
I have nowhere else to go, I can't afford going to a hotel or something, and I'm monitored and sheltered by my family 24/7 anyway. They'd notice almost immediately if I wasn't at home. My only choices are the shared bathroom I have with my 3 siblings, the balcony, or our storage room that has glass windows* opening into the kitchen. I could try to go downstairs and do it in the open but there are high chances I'd be found.
I'm so terrified. I just want it to work, I don't want to be saved or found. I don't want to wait because we JUST moved into this house and my future attempts are going to be in the same environment. I have no other choice, but it has to work. Please, I just want this all to end. I don't want to wake up again.