Help Anxious over making it

[Somegirlinhere]

As long as I am alive, I will have to conform to other peoples desires and expectations. that is why I am anxious- I have just attempted suicide (stupidly, silently so) and Im afraid I wont last. im scared of getting worse- and I feel so fragile. Can anyone relate or offer some consolation to this? I am in unmeasurable distress and anguish, and yet, i find myself acting as if everything was fine, though others can see that im slipping. Im so paranoid, it hurts.

 

[Aknu132]

As long as I am alive, I will have to conform to other peoples desires and expectations. that is why I am anxious- I have just attempted suicide (stupidly, silently so) and Im afraid I wont last. im scared of getting worse- and I feel so fragile. Can anyone relate or offer some consolation to this? I am in unmeasurable distress and anguish, and yet, i find myself acting as if everything was fine, though others can see that im slipping. Im so paranoid, it hurts.

what is going on with your life? what types of desires and expectations?

 

[Somegirlinhere]

what is going on with your life? what types of desires and expectations?

Thanks for the reply!!
I think it's mostly my academic, social, and spiritual life. My grades are dropping—I'm failing so many classes now, even though I used to be such a good student my entire life. I think it might be burnout.

Socially, I want everyone to like me, so I stress over every little interaction and obsess over the way I present myself. I'm naturally very reserved, so forcing myself to interact with others—and having them all fooled by this persona—is a very heavy burden to carry every day.

I guess I do all of it because of the pressure my parents put on me, as well as other people in my life, and my own fear of rejection.

Then there's my religion, which I've completely abandoned. I'm so stressed about not cutting or killing myself and keeping up with my other obligations that I have no mental space for Mass or thoughts about damnation.

Nothing special is going on in my life- its just chaotic, spread out episodes of mental strain.

 

[Aknu132]

Thanks for the reply!!
I think it's mostly my academic, social, and spiritual life. My grades are dropping—I'm failing so many classes now, even though I used to be such a good student my entire life. I think it might be burnout.

Socially, I want everyone to like me, so I stress over every little interaction and obsess over the way I present myself. I'm naturally very reserved, so forcing myself to interact with others—and having them all fooled by this persona—is a very heavy burden to carry every day.

I guess I do all of it because of the pressure my parents put on me, as well as other people in my life, and my own fear of rejection.

Then there's my religion, which I've completely abandoned. I'm so stressed about not cutting or killing myself and keeping up with my other obligations that I have no mental space for Mass or thoughts about damnation.

Nothing special is going on in my life- its just chaotic, spread out episodes of mental strain.

have you already tell people close to you how are you feeling?

 

[Somegirlinhere]

have you already tell people close to you how are you feeling?

uhm, I suppose so. I do therapy- with more than one doctor helping me right now. My mother found one of my suicide notes too, so there was definetley a lot of personal thoughts and feelings there. I do vent with friends too if they welcome it.

 

[Aknu132]

uhm, I suppose so. I do therapy- with more than one doctor helping me right now. My mother found one of my suicide notes too, so there was definetley a lot of personal thoughts and feelings there. I do vent with friends too if they welcome it.

how it was? good or bad? and why?