My spirometry is fucked every time now for some reason. Doctor said she'd be 'terrified' if she just saw the results, but i have a weirdly tightened throat and i don't breathe in properly thus it's impossible to conclude if the test is diagnostically accurate. And nobody can tell whether it's anxiety(dunno if it's even possible) or some unknown illness.
This shit is never gonna end until I die. I might choke or not, endless doctor visits, tests, it's impossible to do them all. Even if I find out something it's not like i'll be able to treat a serious illness, since it's impossible or because i'm a coward. I'll probably never be able to breathe normally again until I'm gone.
Yeah I have anxiety, I'm shaking from fear, who wouldn't be afraid after choking all day every day?
Well, this is why I realized many years ago and told myself to not hope for an illness killing me. It's unlikely and it's a rocky road even if it happens. Much higher chances to end up as a cripple. Maybe I have lung cancer. Do this, do that, try this, do more tests...even xanax doesn't help with this crippling fear.
1 month, 15 doctors, countless tests, Most of them wasted, since idiot cardiologists won't even test for arrhythmia. I've expelled all my energy. On the plus side, never felt closer to death. On the bad side, I wish i didn't have to choke for it. Maybe I already died and i'm in hell.
This shit is never gonna end until I die. I might choke or not, endless doctor visits, tests, it's impossible to do them all. Even if I find out something it's not like i'll be able to treat a serious illness, since it's impossible or because i'm a coward. I'll probably never be able to breathe normally again until I'm gone.
Yeah I have anxiety, I'm shaking from fear, who wouldn't be afraid after choking all day every day?
Well, this is why I realized many years ago and told myself to not hope for an illness killing me. It's unlikely and it's a rocky road even if it happens. Much higher chances to end up as a cripple. Maybe I have lung cancer. Do this, do that, try this, do more tests...even xanax doesn't help with this crippling fear.
1 month, 15 doctors, countless tests, Most of them wasted, since idiot cardiologists won't even test for arrhythmia. I've expelled all my energy. On the plus side, never felt closer to death. On the bad side, I wish i didn't have to choke for it. Maybe I already died and i'm in hell.
