Antidepressants are really fucking working, I felt okay today!

[HopelessScientist]

I was severe-extreme in depression scores, genuinely bed-rotting, unable to play games, watch videos, just wall-watching.

I started mirtazapine three months ago and bupropion last month. I've tidied my room, I've been reading again, and today, for the first time in so long I felt the slightest hint of "okay".

Antidepressants don't work on everyone, and they do have side-effects and risks, but fuck is it so much fucking better here, after so many therapies have failed. It's a miracle that anyone gets better from depression. Depression is hell.

 

[Lazuli]

I too trust medications more than any psychological therapies.

 

[HopelessScientist]

I too trust medications more than any psychological therapies.

therapy can help some people for real, but if you have severe, biological depression, its not gonna get better after 8 sessions of CBT now is it?

 

[Lazuli]

therapy can help some people for real, but if you have severe, biological depression, its not gonna get better after 8 sessions of CBT now is it?

Exactly. But putting that aside, I do have inherent skepticism toward psychological approach. I don't believe the therapist understands what I'm going through the way I want them to understand it, if that makes sense.

 

[HopelessScientist]

Exactly. But putting that aside, I do have inherent skepticism toward psychological approach. I don't believe the therapist understands what I'm going through the way I want them to understand it, if that makes sense.

yeah, hm, my friends and I love good therapy, conducted by a good therapist, but you really need a good therapeutic relationship, and it is not going to fix underlying biological issues at all. I'd imagine therapy + medication is the best approach in treating depression.

 

[rainy.tears]

this is so great to hear, I'm so glad you're feeling better. I know in the past when antidepressants helped me I had these lightbulb on moments where everything felt so much better. It's wild how the brain can make every day tasks so impossible and then a medication can suddenly lift that.

what are the main symptoms of your depression that the medication has helped with?

 

[HopelessScientist]

this is so great to hear, I'm so glad you're feeling better. I know in the past when antidepressants helped me I had these lightbulb on moments where everything felt so much better. It's wild how the brain can make every day tasks so impossible and then a medication can suddenly lift that.

what are the main symptoms of your depression that the medication has helped with?

I was unable to have a complete thought. I had no energy to do anything at all, I couldn't watch a video or play a game even though all I wanted was to prepare for my MSc and do reading. I couldn't take care of myself at all - showering, making food, fresh clothes. Everything was so fucking heavy. I remember how my first thought upon waking up was "I want to die", I remember wanting to die because of how hard it was to dress myself in the morning, how hard it was to just force myself to walk to the bathroom. I thought "how does anyone do this everyday?"

First I started being able to read again, then I managed to go shopping for new shoes, then I cleaned my room completely, and yesterday I felt a flash of "okay" which is huge as I have complete consummatory anhedonia!

 

[rainy.tears]

I was unable to have a complete thought. I had no energy to do anything at all, I couldn't watch a video or play a game even though all I wanted was to prepare for my MSc and do reading. I couldn't take care of myself at all - showering, making food, fresh clothes. Everything was so fucking heavy. I remember how my first thought upon waking up was "I want to die", I remember wanting to die because of how hard it was to dress myself in the morning, how hard it was to just force myself to walk to the bathroom. I thought "how does anyone do this everyday?"

First I started being able to read again, then I managed to go shopping for new shoes, then I cleaned my room completely, and yesterday I felt a flash of "okay" which is huge as I have complete consummatory anhedonia!

That's so great! I'm currently still in the severe depression and nothing has helped. Praying for some kind of miracle cos I wake up every morning with that same thought of wanting to be dead cos everything feels so awful and it just follows me through the day. I basically don't leave my bed :(

Hopefully I'll find something that can give me that feeling of being ok. I have full consummately anhedonia too and I never just feel comfortable or relaxed, I'm always in suffering.

I wish you the very best luck and hope that you continue to see improvements

 

[HopelessScientist]

That's so great! I'm currently still in the severe depression and nothing has helped. Praying for some kind of miracle cos I wake up every morning with that same thought of wanting to be dead cos everything feels so awful and it just follows me through the day. I basically don't leave my bed :(

Hopefully I'll find something that can give me that feeling of being ok. I have full consummately anhedonia too and I never just feel comfortable or relaxed, I'm always in suffering.

I wish you the very best luck and hope that you continue to see improvements

*hugs*

I plan to do a PhD in consummatory anhedonia. It is hell, just because I got out doesn't mean I feel okay leaving others behind there.

I feel horrible for those who are treatment resistant. Severe-extreme depression is a horrible disease, really, most people think of depression as mild-moderate, which isn't so bad, I think most depressed people are there. I think severe-extreme depression is more rare, and so fucking disabling. So a lot of people think treating severe-extreme depression will be easy, give platitudes, etc without seeing the reality of the disease.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm glad you feel better and the meds are helping you!

Good Luck

 

[FailedNav]

I'm happy for you that the meds are working. Hopefully they will remain part of the long-term solution.