Venting Another vent, sorry

[Yuki_03]

Sorry for this.

I feel like recovery is already out of the picture. There is no reason, why did I believe it in the first place? FuneralCry is right, recovery is shit and they treat it like an illness. I believed that it could get better, but it doesn't. It isn't an illness, it's basically seeing the world as it is, fucking hell. If God ever existed, he might have created heaven, but we would have made it shit.

I'm so done with everything that I don't even feel angry or sad, nor disappointed. I just feel empty. Nothing. Fuck all. I wish I could keep going, I'm even struggling w everything right now. I'm probably buying a rope, I'm going with partial hanging. I can't wait for SN. I've really lost all hope.

 

[iloverachel]

Sorry things are so bad.
Life is truly awful beyond words

 

[Yuki_03]

Sorry things are so bad.
Life is truly awful beyond words

Thanks, I'm in a really "bad" place. I can't go much longer, I hope that Monday I will post a goodbye thread.

 

[derpyderpins]

Sorry for this.

I feel like recovery is already out of the picture. There is no reason, why did I believe it in the first place? FuneralCry is right, recovery is shit and they treat it like an illness. I believed that it could get better, but it doesn't. It isn't an illness, it's basically seeing the world as it is, fucking hell. If God ever existed, he might have created heaven, but we would have made it shit.

I'm so done with everything that I don't even feel angry or sad, nor disappointed. I just feel empty. Nothing. Fuck all. I wish I could keep going, I'm even struggling w everything right now. I'm probably buying a rope, I'm going with partial hanging. I can't wait for SN. I've really lost all hope.

Never be sorry about venting. If you can't do it here, where can you do it? And we all need to.

As far as why you believe, it's because you know life isn't 100% bad, and there are some good things. You see possibility against the odds. It's built into us.

 

[Meteora]

Don't feel sorry. I relate to your words so much..... we are not ill. This kind of "support" or "therapy" cannot make things better. It is so sad and devastating but it seems there is no place, no space for people like us..... I was in denial about that fact for very long, I just could not accept it because I did not want to die, I wanted to have a better life. It is very crushing.
I m in the woods right now. I m looking for a tree that is hidden enough and has a strong branch with a good hight to fix a rope. But since it is spring, the leaves are still small and you can see far looking through the trees. Meaning I might not have the time I need to hang and could be found before. That would be horrible, obviously. I wish you all the best from my heart... may you find peace .

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find freedom from your suffering, best wishes, existence truly is so dreadful.