Don't really know what to say - I know this may add to people's anxiety, but I just want to share my experience just in case it helps others prepare (as I would've been a wreck if I hadn't been able to anticipate getting a welfare check from this forum). For context, I ordered and received my SN from DMC in early February - I needed to place 2 orders (but only paid once via Neteller) as he lost my info from the 1st order, but I did get him to delete my details from both orders after. Both the crisis team and the CMHT knew I had received SN at the time, but since mid-March, my mental health has improved a lot, and they acknowledged that whilst I wasn't willing to get rid of the SN, I wasn't planning on using it and it wasn't a concern.
I haven't really been on SaSu in the past month as I've been focusing on recovery, and I personally feel like it's better for me if I stay off SaSu when I'm not actively suicidal. I started checking the forum again when I saw the BBC article go up just to see what the impact on the forum was (as this place has helped me so much and I would be devastated if it got blocked), which is when I noticed the posts about welfare checks. Obviously, it made me a bit nervous, but I thought I would be safe as I'm currently on the other side of the country visiting my family, and if I was indeed at risk of a check, it would be more of something to watch out for when I got home.
Well, I was wrong. I had a couple of missed calls today - 1 which I genuinely think might've been spam, 1 mobile number and 1 landline number with an area code from where I live. It could be a coincidence, but the mobile and landline rang me exactly 1 hour apart (1 rang just before 6 and 1 just before 7) - neither left voicemails. To be honest, this made me quite paranoid as I knew welfare checks were a possibility, but I thought it might just be my work (as they have lots of different numbers they ring from and I haven't saved them all yet). I did try to push it out of my mind because I assumed that if it was the police, they'd try to call again or try to go via the urgent MH team for my area. However, just over an hour ago, I had 2 police officers come to the house I'm currently staying at. I didn't answer the door, but they first asked if my NoK was there before asking if I was there, and then they came in to speak to me. I think I must've spoken to them for around 5-10 minutes? They said that the police force where I live had asked them to see if they could locate me (I presume they must've tried to visit me today and realised I was away). They were concerned regarding the SN delivery (they did specifically name sodium nitrite instead of being vague), to which I just explained that I ordered it in a MH crisis, which has since passed and that the team I work with was already aware. I can't remember everything they asked, but it was around why I ordered it, the MH support I get, if I engage with my MH team, if I would seek emergency assistance, what my MH diagnosis is, the website I got the SN from, how many orders I placed, would I do it again, where I lived, when I was going home, what I do with my time (i.e. work/uni) and whether I found my family helpful (probably because I got them out of the room asap and told the police I wouldn't speak if they were in earshot). They took my name, phone number and address (so I guess I will see whether my local police force wants to visit me as well). My family tried to ask them why they came on the way out, but they just said it wasn't anything to worry about & that I hadn't done anything wrong (which hopefully means I've reassured them enough).
Honestly, if I don't get another visit when I go home, I think this was the best-case scenario. It was very obvious to the officers that I knew they would be coming and exactly why they were there, but I was able to paint the SN delivery as something I did in a moment of crisis that I've now moved forward from (which is honestly mostly true and probably worked in my favour). Knowing that this was inevitable from the posts over the last couple of days definitely helped me prepare (I was a lot less nervous in the moment than how I've been feeling over the last couple of days), as well as the fact that I knew there was no risk of them trying to take my SN, given that it was nowhere near. My family didn't know about the SN, but as they didn't hear the discussion, I got away with telling them the half-truth that the police had only just decided to act on a concern the crisis team had in February, so thankfully they thought it was hilarious (but they did raise the valid point that this is all a mere box-ticking exercise, as the police could've done a welfare check to find I had CTB when I got the SN in February). I think the weirdest part of the experience was the fact that a part of me still wanted to believe the reports of checks were fear-mongering, so it was a bit of an out-of-body experience to see police coming in to speak to me.
If I can offer any advice (as I presume more people will start getting checks), it would be to not give them any cause for concern or reason for suspicion (i.e. don't say you're interested in meat curing/photography if you can't back it up - especially because they probably know why people ordered from DMC and that those with legit hobbies would not be utilising that website). I'll update if I find any evidence when I get home of my local police force trying to visit me, or if they do indeed try coming back at a later date. I feel like everyone is well aware of the checks happening now, but if anyone wants more info, I'll be more than happy to answer as well if that is helpful to anyone.
I haven't really been on SaSu in the past month as I've been focusing on recovery, and I personally feel like it's better for me if I stay off SaSu when I'm not actively suicidal. I started checking the forum again when I saw the BBC article go up just to see what the impact on the forum was (as this place has helped me so much and I would be devastated if it got blocked), which is when I noticed the posts about welfare checks. Obviously, it made me a bit nervous, but I thought I would be safe as I'm currently on the other side of the country visiting my family, and if I was indeed at risk of a check, it would be more of something to watch out for when I got home.
Well, I was wrong. I had a couple of missed calls today - 1 which I genuinely think might've been spam, 1 mobile number and 1 landline number with an area code from where I live. It could be a coincidence, but the mobile and landline rang me exactly 1 hour apart (1 rang just before 6 and 1 just before 7) - neither left voicemails. To be honest, this made me quite paranoid as I knew welfare checks were a possibility, but I thought it might just be my work (as they have lots of different numbers they ring from and I haven't saved them all yet). I did try to push it out of my mind because I assumed that if it was the police, they'd try to call again or try to go via the urgent MH team for my area. However, just over an hour ago, I had 2 police officers come to the house I'm currently staying at. I didn't answer the door, but they first asked if my NoK was there before asking if I was there, and then they came in to speak to me. I think I must've spoken to them for around 5-10 minutes? They said that the police force where I live had asked them to see if they could locate me (I presume they must've tried to visit me today and realised I was away). They were concerned regarding the SN delivery (they did specifically name sodium nitrite instead of being vague), to which I just explained that I ordered it in a MH crisis, which has since passed and that the team I work with was already aware. I can't remember everything they asked, but it was around why I ordered it, the MH support I get, if I engage with my MH team, if I would seek emergency assistance, what my MH diagnosis is, the website I got the SN from, how many orders I placed, would I do it again, where I lived, when I was going home, what I do with my time (i.e. work/uni) and whether I found my family helpful (probably because I got them out of the room asap and told the police I wouldn't speak if they were in earshot). They took my name, phone number and address (so I guess I will see whether my local police force wants to visit me as well). My family tried to ask them why they came on the way out, but they just said it wasn't anything to worry about & that I hadn't done anything wrong (which hopefully means I've reassured them enough).
Honestly, if I don't get another visit when I go home, I think this was the best-case scenario. It was very obvious to the officers that I knew they would be coming and exactly why they were there, but I was able to paint the SN delivery as something I did in a moment of crisis that I've now moved forward from (which is honestly mostly true and probably worked in my favour). Knowing that this was inevitable from the posts over the last couple of days definitely helped me prepare (I was a lot less nervous in the moment than how I've been feeling over the last couple of days), as well as the fact that I knew there was no risk of them trying to take my SN, given that it was nowhere near. My family didn't know about the SN, but as they didn't hear the discussion, I got away with telling them the half-truth that the police had only just decided to act on a concern the crisis team had in February, so thankfully they thought it was hilarious (but they did raise the valid point that this is all a mere box-ticking exercise, as the police could've done a welfare check to find I had CTB when I got the SN in February). I think the weirdest part of the experience was the fact that a part of me still wanted to believe the reports of checks were fear-mongering, so it was a bit of an out-of-body experience to see police coming in to speak to me.
If I can offer any advice (as I presume more people will start getting checks), it would be to not give them any cause for concern or reason for suspicion (i.e. don't say you're interested in meat curing/photography if you can't back it up - especially because they probably know why people ordered from DMC and that those with legit hobbies would not be utilising that website). I'll update if I find any evidence when I get home of my local police force trying to visit me, or if they do indeed try coming back at a later date. I feel like everyone is well aware of the checks happening now, but if anyone wants more info, I'll be more than happy to answer as well if that is helpful to anyone.
