Another Sh*t post.

[Fire&Ash]

I recently talked to my primary provider. I told him I've been trying to get adhd meds with this psychiatrist that I saw about 4 times. He said "I can sense you seem desperate for help" and I thought to myself "no shit I keep reaching out to any professional to get me proper meds and diagnoses and I'm not anywhere different since last July." I try so hard to advocate for myself, and I get no where. I just want to be functional and be proactive in my life. I feel like I'm actively experiencing time blindness and dissociation and I can't learn or do anything, I feel majorly inadequate. I want change, I try to reach out, but I get no hands back. Just bullshit antidepressants that I'm resistant to. I've been thinking about ctb at April 2023 because my sister finished college in march 2023 and I don't want to disrupt her college lifestyle, but at the same time she triggers me a lot so I kind of don't care about how it makes her feel. Ugh I have the SN stuff for nearly 2 years now, but I'm just a chicken.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I know that it can be dreadful when everything seems hopeless. I can imagine it must be very frustrating having to deal with unhelpful people like that. I wish you the best in whatever happens.