another possibility to ctb( jump) October 8...

[Defenestration]

Hi... I once again have the possibility of jumping from the terrace tomorrow morning October 8 from 9 a.m. (French time). 60 m high.

seen with the guard. as a reminder I canceled last Friday...and I had canceled again already in June...I have to go even if at worst I don't jump...

I haven't been feeling well since last night and I took advantage of this state of unhappiness to ask again... what's certain is that I'm going to go... obliged out of politeness...

If you don't hear from me tomorrow October 8th at the end of the evening (French time) or at worst October 9th, I would have ctb ...but keep my nickname, I don't want it to be deleted.

I am happy that it is accepted that I come tomorrow morning but at the same time huge apprehension.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best.

 

[Zaphkiel]

The guard gonna have sequels if you do this.
Like.
Big sequels.

 

[Defenestration]

The guard gonna have sequels if you do this.
Like.
Big sequels.

I wrote a letter to say that he was not responsible, that he knew nothing about it, that I refused to let him get into trouble because of me. I'll leave this up there...

 

[SVEN]

Best wishes Defenestration. If it was me I'd be taking a couple glasses wine or a flask of vodka up there with me just to settle my nerves down.
Hope all goes well for you whatever you finally decide. Go well unmet friend.

 

[Defenestration]

Best wishes Defenestration. If it was me I'd be taking a couple glasses wine or a flask of vodka up there with me just to settle my nerves down.
Hope all goes well for you whatever you finally decide. Go well unmet friend.

thank you but above all no alcohol it relaxes the muscles and it can protect the internal organs I had read.
I Can take anxiolitic

 

[SVEN]

thank you but above all no alcohol it relaxes the muscles and it can protect the internal organs I had read.
I Can take anxiolitic

If you can do without, then probably best. Incidentally, if you're successfull I'll sure remember your screen name … since I had to look it up the first time I saw it. So, thanks to you, I've improved my word power.

 

[Defenestration]

I don't know why but since I have this new date I have felt great fear... tomorrow morning it happens quickly...that's it, everything is already over...I will never see my parents again, my sister...I will ruin their lives...

what is there after death and if I reincarnate him as a Russian prisoner or something else or as a slug...if I mess up and I end up quadriplegic

I who have spent my life loving the idea of suicide, praying to die in my sleep, now I have a big doubt...and the fear of dying is felt, not the jump itself but the whole context. ..

I will never be able to eat a good meal, listen to music, watch sports etc.

like when you lose something you have, you only realize its value when it his loss. I'm not ready but I have no other choice...

my life is shaping up to be a path of the cross.

I can of course go up there without jumping (I take the elevator with the guard, he opens it for me, it's a terrace as if you were walking on the ground).

 

[SVEN]

If you're uncertain when you get there, just walk away. Even if this location is lost to you, there will be others my friend. You can change your mind and live a thousand times; but you only get to successfully ctb once.
You know members on this site understand.

 

[zuksmth]

I wish you the best may you find peace , I also plan to jump but its not allowed to go to the terrace but I can sneak in and smth, but theres a guard roaming around at all times and I'll probably chicken out

 

[Defenestration]

I change my mind and emotions every 2 minutes...

 

[zuksmth]

I change my mind and emotions every 2 minutes...

Don't worry thats just survival instinct , dont think about it much you can take medication to tone it down aswell , keep thinking about the reason you wanna do this

 

[Defenestration]

Ne t'inquiète pas, c'est juste un instinct de survie, n'y pense pas trop, tu peux aussi prendre des médicaments pour l'atténuer, continue de penser à la raison pour laquelle tu veux faire ça.

Thanks but when its near.... fear
Where are you Come from?

 

[Defenestration]

I'm in France: Oh 47( night)
catch the bus(ctb) :about 9 hour morning...

 

[James Sunderland]

I'm in France: Oh 47( night)
catch the bus(ctb) :about 9 hour morning...

I hear you. It sounds like you've got a lot on your mind right now, and I get that it's not easy to sort through all of this. If you feel like talking or just want some company, I'm around. No pressure, just here if you need it in this thread.

 

[Inexplicable]

I always thought a good method was to shoot yourself in the head at the edge of a tall building. If the bullet doesn't kill you the fall would. Gotta be extra sure.

 

[Defenestration]

Je vous entends. On dirait que vous avez beaucoup de choses en tête en ce moment, et je comprends qu'il n'est pas facile de faire le tri dans tout ça. Si vous avez envie de parler ou si vous voulez juste un peu de compagnie, je suis là. Aucune pression, juste là si vous en avez besoin dans ce fil de discussion.

Yes thanks

 

[James Sunderland]

Yes thanks

I'm glad you responded. How are you holding up right now? If you feel like talking, I'm here. Unfortunately I'll be gone in 30 minutes, but please do share anything you want here. Anything.

 

[nir]

If you're having doubts, it's okay to postpone <3

 

[Defenestration]

Si vous avez des doutes, vous pouvez reporter <3

AGAIN....

Si vous avez des doutes, vous pouvez reporter <3

Aa oki

 

[Fangarina]

It's completely normal to change your mind over and over, and I will reiterate what I have said on previous threads to you - if you are not 100% sure, there is no shame in walking away. Nobody here judges you, and this is one method you can't change your mind half way through. Please keep that in mind tomorrow when you go. If you get there, and all you can do is take in the view? Then you have not wasted the guards time because you have gone up and seen the world from a different perspective… Take care of yourself, whatever you decide. I wish you peace and tranquility; and if you are still here tomorrow I will check in on you

 

[Defenestration]

In France : 4 hour
Ctb about 9 hour/10 hour morning

 

[Surai]

I would love to fly for a bit too

 

[Defenestration]

Me too

 

[Defenestration]

6h 35...

About 9 hours
Dont delete me ,dont scratch m'y account

 

[mercybell]

How are you feeling about it now?

 

[EternalShore]

Sorry for whatever has driven you to this~ :( I wish you the best and am praying for you~ :)

 

[Defenestration]

H- 2 h

Comment te sens-tu à ce sujet maintenant ?

I don't want to go at all but I have to, I've already canceled twice, including once last Friday... at worst I will look and come home. I left all my suicide notes in my apartment, that's what scares me if I decide to come back and not stay there and if my father drops by unexpectedly... I don't know, I don't think I'm going to do it but once I'm up with the meds it might be an impulse. If you don't have any news during the day, it's because I'm either dead or in the hospital...

Comment te sens-tu à ce sujet maintenant ?

I don't want to go at all but I have to, I've already canceled twice, including once last Friday... at worst I will look and come home. I left all my suicide notes in my apartment, that's what scares me if I decide to come back and not stay there and if my father drops by unexpectedly... I don't know, I don't think I'm going to do it but once I'm up with the meds it might be an impulse. If you don't have any news during the day, it's because I'm either dead or in the hospital...
Seepless night...

 

[mercybell]

H- 2 h

I don't want to go at all but I have to, I've already canceled twice, including once last Friday... at worst I will look and come home. I left all my suicide notes in my apartment, that's what scares me if I decide to come back and not stay there and if my father drops by unexpectedly... I don't know, I don't think I'm going to do it but once I'm up with the meds it might be an impulse. If you don't have any news during the day, it's because I'm either dead or in the hospital...

I don't want to go at all but I have to, I've already canceled twice, including once last Friday... at worst I will look and come home. I left all my suicide notes in my apartment, that's what scares me if I decide to come back and not stay there and if my father drops by unexpectedly... I don't know, I don't think I'm going to do it but once I'm up with the meds it might be an impulse. If you don't have any news during the day, it's because I'm either dead or in the hospital...
Seepless night...

You don't have to go through with it. As someone else said earlier, if you're not 100% sure, it's okay. You shouldn't feel ashamed for it.
I hope whatever you end up deciding, you are at peace with.

 

[Defenestration]

access to the terrace closed, it was his colleague who had the keys. he suggested that I look at a room on the 20th floor. I said no, we'll see the terrace another time.

I wasn't ready at all, I felt it...when it happens I can't...

I go to sleep