Annoying and unlikeable to everyone?

[BadVibes]

I've noticed that, throughout my entire life, I've just been fucking unlikeable to everyone I meet, including all my old friends and exes. I don't scare them off right away, but rather I slowly but surely unconsciously annoy them more and more as time goes on until they eventually get tired of me and leave. It doesn't matter if they give me second chances for "change" because I always manage to fuck it up anyway. My ex gave me way too many chances to reconcile (really 1 would've been more than enough) but I still managed to push them away, bit by bit, until they eventually gave up and broke us up. The worst part is that, unlike my precious relationship from a couple of years back, I honestly just... didn't care this time round. I wasn't happy, but I certainly wasn't sad either. It seems that I've just become accustomed to the fact that I will always, sooner or later, end up pushing away every friend I make, every romantic connection I manage to string together. I am doomed to walk this Earth alone, and I need to be content with that. Anyone else feel like that?

 

[Shiitake]

I've noticed that, throughout my entire life, I've just been fucking unlikeable to everyone I meet, including all my old friends and exes. I don't scare them off right away, but rather I slowly but surely unconsciously annoy them more and more as time goes on until they eventually get tired of me and leave. It doesn't matter if they give me second chances for "change" because I always manage to fuck it up anyway. My ex gave me way too many chances to reconcile (really 1 would've been more than enough) but I still managed to push them away, bit by bit, until they eventually gave up and broke us up. The worst part is that, unlike my precious relationship from a couple of years back, I honestly just... didn't care this time round. I wasn't happy, but I certainly wasn't sad either. It seems that I've just become accustomed to the fact that I will always, sooner or later, end up pushing away every friend I make, every romantic connection I manage to string together. I am doomed to walk this Earth alone, and I need to be content with that. Anyone else feel like that?

the fact you even had friends and exes means youre likeable.
sounds like you got chances but somehow didnt fix it, that means theres a road to salvation-

 

[pascagalias]

the fact you even had friends and exes means youre likeable.

Definitely.

From the (now distant) friends, is there anyone you would still trust enough to talk/write about that?

Apart from that, I've experienced that true friends are rare, and those who aren't tend to vanish, whenever their interests or locations change. In that case, the feeling of being the reason would be wrong.

 

[BadVibes]

the fact you even had friends and exes means youre likeable.
sounds like you got chances but somehow didnt fix it, that means theres a road to salvation-

Kind of? Thing is, it's always temporary. I've never had an IRL friend for more than 8 months. They always get sick of my shit and leave (I don't blame them for it either)

Definitely.

From the (now distant) friends, is there anyone you would still trust enough to talk/write about that?

Apart from that, I've experienced that true friends are rare, and those who aren't tend to vanish, whenever their interests or locations change. In that case, the feeling of being the reason would be wrong.

I don't even trust my friends, they barely know me. They don't really know the real me. And honestly, I hope they never do. It's always the real me who manages to fuck shit up.

 

[voc_89]

I did this on purpose. The voices told me that all this person would do is weigh me down. Example, gfs would require me having to go out more (more driving leads to higher accident risk, retaliation from exs, less savings for emergency, etc.). Friends you can't trust them (whats this person angle hanging out with a weirdo like me). Lmao i am so strange when i consider these things out loud

 

[BadVibes]

unlike my precious relationship from a couple of years back,

Previous* not precious ugh. I sounded like a creep lmao

 

[Hollowman]

I can relate. I can't connect with anyone so I gave up trying.

 

[anxiousdweller]

I ruin every close relationship with out even noticing suppose im a narcissist

 

[Remus72]

That sounds really heavy, and I get why it feels like a pattern you can't break. But you're not "doomed".. if you can notice the pattern, you can change it, even if it takes time. You don't have to figure it all out at once, just start small and be a bit kinder to yourself along the way.