Set your expectations low and you can't be disappointed !
(Although life seems to have a way of producing new even rockier and lower 'rock bottoms')I think it's a Fitbit, which I know aren't great, but it was fine until around the same time I woke up with injection marks on my finger and she started acting different too . So adds up to what i already knew about what at least 1 of my parents doing or both.
Understood, thanks for specifying. And yeah, you're right about life, the second you think 'oh this is the bottom' - the floor drops out.Set your expectations low and you can't be disappointed !
I think it's a Fitbit, which I know aren't great, but it was fine until around the same time I woke up with injection marks on my finger and she started acting different too . So adds up to what i already knew about what at least 1 of my parents doing or both.
Sorry using this as self centred vent thread , pls feel free ignore or block me if you're sick of me !
I remember a case like that where a family member coughed very much for months. Turned out it was because of an aroma diffuser with essential oils.
Yeah. Exhausting indeed. Don't think anyone can help, but feel I owe it myself to give it one more honest try. (Yes again
) Just so frustrating when months and months go by, just being on waiting lists.I'm sorry. No or little sleep sucks and can really mess with your head as well..
I did go and she was lovely as always. Longer appt. this time so exhausted . I did tell her about the anniversary being soon but didn't share when. Part of me wanted to tell her because i think she doesnt realise how soon I mean. Like my next appt. is very close to the deadline. I feel like stupidly for some reason I don't actually want to ctb before that date and definitely not with their method. Part of me wants someone to step in before then. I can't let 1000s of people die . But i'm not ready so very confused . And i could contact her or crisis team but i dont see what they can do. Kind of want someone to take the decision away from me but that's impossible. Because if i ask for help and tell them date then i'm basically deciding not to ctb yet and putting my life above 1000s of others which is cruel and disgusting . Even if they stop me doing it, it was my decision and fault for telling themI'm sorry. No or little sleep sucks and can really mess with your head as well..
Might as well go? Let us know how it goes if you decide to go.. Always here for you to talk to or vent!
i hope your day is going ok.
You speak from my heart. I can feel this so much.
You could share it with her. She might be able to help you. Maybe not in the way you envision, but she wouldn't let you figure it out all by yourself either.
No it's not. Only you think it is. I can think of so many ppl who aren't even half as considerate as you are. I'd rather you risk their lives by staying alive if you aren't ready for ctb than you doing what you don't want to do.
You aren't cowardly at all. It takes guts to deal with the sort of shit you are going through! Let alone on your own.Even if they stop me doing it, it was my decision and fault for telling them
Maybe I'll never feel 100% ready though and just have to push myself to do it and trust the process, maybe drink beforehand to ease my nerves . I know ctb before deadline is the right choice , i'm just scared and cowardly
Sorry rambling, you dont have to reply and have enough on your own plate !
Thank you
Nah, not bullshit. Issues, like we all have, just in different formsGlad you're doing alright(ish) today.
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful response, i really appreciate all your support and patience with my bullshit
I'd say let it break down
But I've always been a rebel 
I could give say a lot about you, but weak? Absolutely not. You're a person trying to survive an absolute impossibly shitty situation.
I get not wanting to be here. You've said before, I think, that before this entire stuff with the system you already wanted to die.
If you are not ready, you are not ready! You don't deserve it either in my opinion. 
) 
You don't need to be all alone in this! Thank you so much. I truly appreciate your kindness when you're going through so much yourself .Nah, not bullshit. Issues, like we all have, just in different forms
I'd say let it break down
We'll find a way to survive and if not you've done nature and a lot of us on here a favour
I could give say a lot about you, but weak? Absolutely not. You're a person trying to survive an absolute impossibly shitty situation.
I get not wanting to be here. You've said before, I think, that before this entire stuff with the system you already wanted to die.
But you do have a choice. I'll say it again
Talk to the nice lady. (That sounds creepy. She got candy?
But seriously, she will try to help you however she can.
Although you've got us here as well, it's not entirely the same.
) she'll likely involve crisis team who are pretty shit and means my family will find out something is up if crisis team come round.
I see how you would want to avoid that.Thank you so much. I truly appreciate your kindness when you're going through so much yourself .
If i tell my care coordinator (the nice lady
Moan and vent all you like, that's what we are here for!
Mixed feelings all the way. Working on it
@timetodie24 How are you doing?
Thank you everyone so much, truly
I feel sick thinking about it, too numb to cry, it doesn't feel real but I think tomorrow is the day. No more fucking around. I keep treating this like some game when the whole world is going to fall apart. No more being in denial.
I wish it could end on my terms, but sadly it can't and that's life. I'm really afraid but tomorrow it has to be.
Thank you and wish you all well. I truly hope you all find some peace in some way
Oh shoot, I looked for a new thread from you but didn't find it.I'm doing ok thanks for asking . Just quoted update below (from another thread) as that explains things.
Hope you're doing ok . Thank you for always being so kind and supportive so many times being there for me .
Take care
