angry that I’m still here

[everythingblack]

I feel intense, intense anger and frustration that I'm being forced to live a life I don't want to live. It seems like people have to jump through hoops to CTB, and a lot of the ways that people go are traumatizing/without dignity. I should feel angry at my depression/the people around me, but I'm just mad that I'm still here when I should've been gone a long time ago. Im mad that it takes so much effort to CTB with a risk of failure. Im mad that every time I've reached out for help it's been dismissed or met with pure incompetency. Im mad that I've hurt good people as a result of being fucked over by shitty ones. I'm mad that people have told me to hang in here because things will get better but they've only gotten worse. Is anyone else dealing with anger?

 

[Hollowman]

I used to deal with anger/rage for decades, probably due to a head injury when I was a kid. At the beginning of this year something happened in my brain, I'm not sure what but I don't get pissed anymore.

 

[Kalabrese]

Yep me too and I can't understand why I've been 23 years being a quite and patient human and now, 2 years later, I can't holding up my rage. I only know that anything of this is our fault.

 

[Hollowillow]

I'm out of rage... Rage is SI... So tired

 

[makethepainstop]

We each feel a pain that is unknown to the normals of the world. We are not like them. Yet they control the world and insist that we stay and continue playing this rigged game, they call life. Each of us possesses the controls to hit the reset button on this wretched game. The normals control the world, but only WE can decide not to play. Love to all my brothers and sisters here on SS.

 

[StolenLife]

I used to feel rage as well, now it's just numb sadness. I regret how I acted in my teens, but I was traumatized due to certain issues and help was nonexistent. I am just angry at myself now, how I let myself become this hollow shell of a person, all because of people who weren't worth it and most likely don't even remember what they did. All that's left for me is death.

 

[makethepainstop]

I used to feel rage as well, now it's just numb sadness. I regret how I acted in my teens, but I was traumatized due to certain issues and help was nonexistent. I am just angry at myself now, how I let myself become this hollow shell of a person, all because of people who weren't worth it and most likely don't even remember what they did. All that's left for me is death.

None may reverse the past, yet we can resolve to do better in the future. Know that karma is keeping score and those that have harmed others will reap their hellish rewards. A prayer I like is "God, set the same cup before their lips as they have set before mine. Let it be seasoned measure for measure and drop for drop." Rather unforgiving arnt I ?

I used to feel rage as well, now it's just numb sadness. I regret how I acted in my teens, but I was traumatized due to certain issues and help was nonexistent. I am just angry at myself now, how I let myself become this hollow shell of a person, all because of people who weren't worth it and most likely don't even remember what they did. All that's left for me is death.

None may reverse the past, yet we can resolve to do better in the future. Know that karma is keeping score and those that have harmed others will reap their hellish rewards. A prayer I like is "God, set the same cup before their lips as they have set before mine. Let it be seasoned measure for measure and drop for drop." Rather unforgiving arnt I ?

I used to feel rage as well, now it's just numb sadness. I regret how I acted in my teens, but I was traumatized due to certain issues and help was nonexistent. I am just angry at myself now, how I let myself become this hollow shell of a person, all because of people who weren't worth it and most likely don't even remember what they did. All that's left for me is death.

None may reverse the past, yet we can resolve to do better in the future. Know that karma is keeping score and those that have harmed others will reap their hellish rewards. A prayer I like is "God, set the same cup before their lips as they have set before mine. Let it be seasoned measure for measure and drop for drop." Rather unforgiving arnt I ?

 

[theboy]

me 2
Anger, darkness, sadness and so on are in my life.