Tell:
Maybe you could say I'm agnostic.
That said, I live in America, which is essentially a culture based on C*******n roots where many people are still C******n. It's essentially a C*******n country, though not explicitly by law. The same way English is not technically the official language, but poll a group of Americans about that and get back to me, ya know?
My region is particularly religious, though many people here are quite modest about their faith in public. But the influence of the religion is of course so strong here that even non-religious people often take on its language and attitudes in order to assimilate.
My upbringing was religious.
One of my earliest memories of being uncomfortable with religion was Bible Study at various evangelical churches, where we'd learn fun little stories about the A********e and H**l. Demons coming up slaughter us with swords at the end of the world, if we were not saved. Multi-appendage angel and demon creatures playing world-ending trumpets and killing all non-C*******n people in a variety of creative ways. All that jazz.
Well, that shit is permanently singed into my mind, even though my personal, conscious beliefs and logic have changed so much since then.
And I just can't escape reminders of the hegemony of Christian thought in my country anywhere I go. It's always leaking back into my subconscious by osmosis. That's the point of a religious system spreading all around the world, so that it is psychologically inescapable because it's symbology has seeped in everywhere.
Ask:
Specifically to non- believers (though anyone is of course free to share their thoughts), I just want to ask if anyone else is experiencing something similar.
Even though you know your beliefs have changed, experiencing dissonance and a lingering voice influenced by past indoctrination, being constantly reactivated by current events and everyday interactions with the world.
If I can just purge myself of someone else's fear of someone else's H**l once and for all, this whole process of finally liberating myself will be much easier.
Methods? Beliefs?
I appreciate all feedback.
[/QUOTE
Tell:
Maybe you could say I'm agnostic.
That said, I live in America, which is essentially a culture based on C*******n roots where many people are still C******n. It's essentially a C*******n country, though not explicitly by law. The same way English is not technically the official language, but poll a group of Americans about that and get back to me, ya know?
My region is particularly religious, though many people here are quite modest about their faith in public. But the influence of the religion is of course so strong here that even non-religious people often take on its language and attitudes in order to assimilate.
My upbringing was religious.
One of my earliest memories of being uncomfortable with religion was Bible Study at various evangelical churches, where we'd learn fun little stories about the A********e and H**l. Demons coming up slaughter us with swords at the end of the world, if we were not saved. Multi-appendage angel and demon creatures playing world-ending trumpets and killing all non-C*******n people in a variety of creative ways. All that jazz.
Well, that shit is permanently singed into my mind, even though my personal, conscious beliefs and logic have changed so much since then.
And I just can't escape reminders of the hegemony of Christian thought in my country anywhere I go. It's always leaking back into my subconscious by osmosis. That's the point of a religious system spreading all around the world, so that it is psychologically inescapable because it's symbology has seeped in everywhere.
Ask:
Specifically to non- believers (though anyone is of course free to share their thoughts), I just want to ask if anyone else is experiencing something similar.
Even though you know your beliefs have changed, experiencing dissonance and a lingering voice influenced by past indoctrination, being constantly reactivated by current events and everyday interactions with the world.
If I can just purge myself of someone else's fear of someone else's H**l once and for all, this whole process of finally liberating myself will be much easier.
Methods? Beliefs?
I appreciate all feedback.
I'm a believer but less fear of hell. I believe in a more forgiving God now. I always kind of did, but was conflicted. Years ago though I took a large OD og Tylenol PM. I had sleep paralysis/ a demon attack me in my sleep. In the form of Satan. He burst through my door and choked me. I got sick all of the pills and woke up surrounded by them. I would get sleep paralysis at times and my current religious beliefs are that dreams are very connected to the spiritual realm. I believe real demons have attacked me through my fears or immoral transgressions. I also often dream of break ins. I believe that's from my fear of someone harming me. I think they play on that. It seems very real, and is scary.
