ConfusedHurting2632
Student
- Dec 22, 2021
- 133
TL;DR At the bottom.
I know you all are gonna be like "you fucking asshole you're a complete and total piece of shit!" And you'd be 100% correct. But anyway, here's the situation.
So my gender identity is pretty complicated. I'd describe myself as non-binary. I don't really feel like either female or male, though there are times where I may feel like one gender over the other. But anyway, I was born male, and during this specific time period I wanted to be female. So I was saying I was female. You could say I was more or less a trans woman at the time.
But anyway... this was a situation online. It took place on Reddit and then moved onto Instagram. When we were getting to know each other it was on Reddit, when we were getting closer it moved to Instagram. This was over the course of 11 days.
So basically, me and the guy were in one of those Reddit chat rooms where you meet different people. My username was like "CuteBlondeAnimeGirl" or something like that, and my profile picture was basically what my username said. Then on Instagram that was my real life personal account where I had everything (real life friends and family and shit) though I took down any real photos of me.
Me and him were getting to know each other and somewhat "flirting." Not 100% flirting but not 100% platonic either. I had "successfully" "fooled" into thinking I was a girl, I even used real life pictures of a blonde female friend of mine (with her permission, and an explanation to her). With how delusional and mentally ill (including schizophrenia and schizoaffective) I am I actually unironically believed I was that blonde female friend of mine. I had forgotten about my real body and dissociated to trick myself into thinking I was her.
But the jig was up when I posted a photo of my high school diploma (I was like 18 or 19 at the time, I had graduated high school at age 18, I'm 23 now) with my real name, without thinking it through.
And even though I was 100% in the wrong, his reaction was sort of... weird. It was like:
"Oh my god oh my god I can't fucking believe this, I feel as if my whole life's been ruined now, I can't breathe, I think I'm gonna pass out, I can't believe this!"
Mind you this took course over ELEVEN DAYS, and neither of us discussed being in a relationship or anything. So I didn't understand this reaction, making me very mad at the situation.
And he was also pretty insensitive about the whole non-binary/trans thing. He didn't even try to understand. I was telling him I was saying I was female because I hated being male and really badly wanted to be female, often tricking myself into believing I'm female...this being all true, though it doesn't excuse catfishing. And he was just like "OKAY yada yada yada but that still doesn't make any of it in the least way JUSTIFIED!"
He was also asking some weird questions that were irrelevant. Like: "So do you REALLY like anime? Do you REALLY like video games? Do you REALLY like the color green? Do you REALLY like swimming? Do you REALLY like fashion? Do you REALLY like rock music?" Like...what the fuck do any of those questions have to do with gender?
In the end, me and him ended up blocking each other. Lol.
I was dumb as hell. I shouldn't catfish period, but if I WAS gonna do it anyway, should've at least done it right. Rule one, don't catfish on the same real life account where I have literally everything. Should've made a second account. Rule two, don't post personal real life shit that could lead to your rule identity like your high school diploma. Those are the fucking basics, and I didn't even do that.
Funny enough, after blocking him I went to vent about him on the "r/AITA" short for "r/AmITheAsshole" sub-Reddit, mind you on THE SAME FUCKING REDDIT ACCOUNT I USED TO MEET HIM, and he saw the post and unblocked me on Instagram to come back and argue some more. He was like "Oh my god I can't believe this...you just get worse and worse and worse, you suck so hard. Now you fucking made a public post about me?!"
Mind you in the post I didn't refer to his username or anything. He kind of had to go out of his way to dig for that post in my profile specifically actually because it was a pretty small post with only like 10 replies and 15 upvotes, and by the time he saw it, it was far out of the "top/hot/new" section or whatever. If it matters people on AITA were 50/50 on the replies, 50% saying I was the asshole, 50% saying I wasn't. Probably because I told my version of the story, making him look worse, and me look better. But yeah.
Regardless though, like with the catfishing, I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT ON THE SAME FUCKING ACCOUNT I USED TO MEET HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE! I shouldn't have written an r/AITA about a situation where I'm clearly in the wrong, but damn it, at least do it right.
After that, he immediately blocked me again, which was for the better, lol.
Weirdly enough, me and him ended up meeting each other 2 other times after this.
The 2nd time after I was venting about him to an online friend, and the friend asked him for his Instagram username and went and asked him "why he was so devastated about 11 days," and he basically told my friend like "I don't wanna bring any 3rd parties into this, so I'm gonna block you, but if he's still thinking about me then he must still care about me to an extent." And so me and him talked again...though this time we only sent like less than 5 messages to each other, lol.
Even without all the catfishing stuff he was kind of an unpleasant guy. He would often get really preachy, self-righteous, and opinionated about a lot of topics. Like I had mentioned something like "me and my friends would often run out of topics to talk about." And he was like "that's because you and your friends are most likely not very creative...me and my friends never run out of topics. we just talk and talk and talk. you're all just likely close-minded."
I think this time I showed photos of my actual real self (biologically male body) and my friends and my family members to sort of "come clean" and "make up for all the lies with truths."
Then the 3rd time, probably the least likely and most coincidental meet up, I was venting about him to another online friend, this time on Discord, and the friend connected the dots about who we he was, turns out he was on her Discord server already. Lol.
At first he was like "whatever arguments we've had in the past let bygones be bygones, it's all water under the bridge now, haha." And "I'm actually sort of happy things happened this way! Life can really be quite funny and unpredictable huh? Haha."
But then we got into an argument on the public server in front of everyone, and he was like: "Oh yeah? I can completely fuck over your life and dox you and SWAT you if I wanted to. You don't know shit about me besides my physical appearance from a photo or two I sent you, but I literally know EVERYTHING about you. Your real name. Where you went to school. I have real photos of you and your friends and family members you foolishly sent me. And I've fucking saved all those messages and all those photos! You catfished me the first time, then you came back two other times including this time, and you know what? Each and every time I've liked you less and less. This is probably why you don't have any close friends, or even any friends in general, and why your family members all hate you! So I repeat, DO NOT FUCK WITH ME! Next time you could be SWATTED and get a shot on the shoulder by the fucking cops!"
And then my friend, owner of the server was like: "Let's see let's see...he is going a bit over the top, but you catfished him first, so I'm gonna ban you over him. And to keep things safe I'm gonna block you from my friend's list too. Go find another group of friends to fuck over."
And in the end...I basically provoked all this. This whole mess wouldn't even have existed if it weren't for me. As mad as I may be I was still wrong in the end.
In the end I'm incredibly suicidal and delusional, often believing my delusions are reality. I don't know why I always gotta do stupid shit like this scenario. It seems to be in my nature to do stupid irrational shit.
TL;DR Basically I'm non-binary, sometimes leaning one gender or the other, this time I was leaning female, I catfished (I was in a pretty delusional state) a guy because I hated being male at the time, he got mad and rightfully so, but we had only chatted for 11 days, and hadn't discussed starting a relationship or anything. His reaction made me mad cuz he acted like it was 11 MONTHS or even 11 YEARS. I was 100% in the wrong no doubt about it, but his reactions were kind of weird.
I know you all are gonna be like "you fucking asshole you're a complete and total piece of shit!" And you'd be 100% correct. But anyway, here's the situation.
So my gender identity is pretty complicated. I'd describe myself as non-binary. I don't really feel like either female or male, though there are times where I may feel like one gender over the other. But anyway, I was born male, and during this specific time period I wanted to be female. So I was saying I was female. You could say I was more or less a trans woman at the time.
But anyway... this was a situation online. It took place on Reddit and then moved onto Instagram. When we were getting to know each other it was on Reddit, when we were getting closer it moved to Instagram. This was over the course of 11 days.
So basically, me and the guy were in one of those Reddit chat rooms where you meet different people. My username was like "CuteBlondeAnimeGirl" or something like that, and my profile picture was basically what my username said. Then on Instagram that was my real life personal account where I had everything (real life friends and family and shit) though I took down any real photos of me.
Me and him were getting to know each other and somewhat "flirting." Not 100% flirting but not 100% platonic either. I had "successfully" "fooled" into thinking I was a girl, I even used real life pictures of a blonde female friend of mine (with her permission, and an explanation to her). With how delusional and mentally ill (including schizophrenia and schizoaffective) I am I actually unironically believed I was that blonde female friend of mine. I had forgotten about my real body and dissociated to trick myself into thinking I was her.
But the jig was up when I posted a photo of my high school diploma (I was like 18 or 19 at the time, I had graduated high school at age 18, I'm 23 now) with my real name, without thinking it through.
And even though I was 100% in the wrong, his reaction was sort of... weird. It was like:
"Oh my god oh my god I can't fucking believe this, I feel as if my whole life's been ruined now, I can't breathe, I think I'm gonna pass out, I can't believe this!"
Mind you this took course over ELEVEN DAYS, and neither of us discussed being in a relationship or anything. So I didn't understand this reaction, making me very mad at the situation.
And he was also pretty insensitive about the whole non-binary/trans thing. He didn't even try to understand. I was telling him I was saying I was female because I hated being male and really badly wanted to be female, often tricking myself into believing I'm female...this being all true, though it doesn't excuse catfishing. And he was just like "OKAY yada yada yada but that still doesn't make any of it in the least way JUSTIFIED!"
He was also asking some weird questions that were irrelevant. Like: "So do you REALLY like anime? Do you REALLY like video games? Do you REALLY like the color green? Do you REALLY like swimming? Do you REALLY like fashion? Do you REALLY like rock music?" Like...what the fuck do any of those questions have to do with gender?
In the end, me and him ended up blocking each other. Lol.
I was dumb as hell. I shouldn't catfish period, but if I WAS gonna do it anyway, should've at least done it right. Rule one, don't catfish on the same real life account where I have literally everything. Should've made a second account. Rule two, don't post personal real life shit that could lead to your rule identity like your high school diploma. Those are the fucking basics, and I didn't even do that.
Funny enough, after blocking him I went to vent about him on the "r/AITA" short for "r/AmITheAsshole" sub-Reddit, mind you on THE SAME FUCKING REDDIT ACCOUNT I USED TO MEET HIM, and he saw the post and unblocked me on Instagram to come back and argue some more. He was like "Oh my god I can't believe this...you just get worse and worse and worse, you suck so hard. Now you fucking made a public post about me?!"
Mind you in the post I didn't refer to his username or anything. He kind of had to go out of his way to dig for that post in my profile specifically actually because it was a pretty small post with only like 10 replies and 15 upvotes, and by the time he saw it, it was far out of the "top/hot/new" section or whatever. If it matters people on AITA were 50/50 on the replies, 50% saying I was the asshole, 50% saying I wasn't. Probably because I told my version of the story, making him look worse, and me look better. But yeah.
Regardless though, like with the catfishing, I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT ON THE SAME FUCKING ACCOUNT I USED TO MEET HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE! I shouldn't have written an r/AITA about a situation where I'm clearly in the wrong, but damn it, at least do it right.
After that, he immediately blocked me again, which was for the better, lol.
Weirdly enough, me and him ended up meeting each other 2 other times after this.
The 2nd time after I was venting about him to an online friend, and the friend asked him for his Instagram username and went and asked him "why he was so devastated about 11 days," and he basically told my friend like "I don't wanna bring any 3rd parties into this, so I'm gonna block you, but if he's still thinking about me then he must still care about me to an extent." And so me and him talked again...though this time we only sent like less than 5 messages to each other, lol.
Even without all the catfishing stuff he was kind of an unpleasant guy. He would often get really preachy, self-righteous, and opinionated about a lot of topics. Like I had mentioned something like "me and my friends would often run out of topics to talk about." And he was like "that's because you and your friends are most likely not very creative...me and my friends never run out of topics. we just talk and talk and talk. you're all just likely close-minded."
I think this time I showed photos of my actual real self (biologically male body) and my friends and my family members to sort of "come clean" and "make up for all the lies with truths."
Then the 3rd time, probably the least likely and most coincidental meet up, I was venting about him to another online friend, this time on Discord, and the friend connected the dots about who we he was, turns out he was on her Discord server already. Lol.
At first he was like "whatever arguments we've had in the past let bygones be bygones, it's all water under the bridge now, haha." And "I'm actually sort of happy things happened this way! Life can really be quite funny and unpredictable huh? Haha."
But then we got into an argument on the public server in front of everyone, and he was like: "Oh yeah? I can completely fuck over your life and dox you and SWAT you if I wanted to. You don't know shit about me besides my physical appearance from a photo or two I sent you, but I literally know EVERYTHING about you. Your real name. Where you went to school. I have real photos of you and your friends and family members you foolishly sent me. And I've fucking saved all those messages and all those photos! You catfished me the first time, then you came back two other times including this time, and you know what? Each and every time I've liked you less and less. This is probably why you don't have any close friends, or even any friends in general, and why your family members all hate you! So I repeat, DO NOT FUCK WITH ME! Next time you could be SWATTED and get a shot on the shoulder by the fucking cops!"
And then my friend, owner of the server was like: "Let's see let's see...he is going a bit over the top, but you catfished him first, so I'm gonna ban you over him. And to keep things safe I'm gonna block you from my friend's list too. Go find another group of friends to fuck over."
And in the end...I basically provoked all this. This whole mess wouldn't even have existed if it weren't for me. As mad as I may be I was still wrong in the end.
In the end I'm incredibly suicidal and delusional, often believing my delusions are reality. I don't know why I always gotta do stupid shit like this scenario. It seems to be in my nature to do stupid irrational shit.
TL;DR Basically I'm non-binary, sometimes leaning one gender or the other, this time I was leaning female, I catfished (I was in a pretty delusional state) a guy because I hated being male at the time, he got mad and rightfully so, but we had only chatted for 11 days, and hadn't discussed starting a relationship or anything. His reaction made me mad cuz he acted like it was 11 MONTHS or even 11 YEARS. I was 100% in the wrong no doubt about it, but his reactions were kind of weird.
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